Correspondence
by crackberries
Summary: For a change, Canada visits Prussia, and for a change, everyone notices him. Unfortunately, 'vacation' and 'relaxation' have never gone hand in hand
1. Arrival

**disclaimer: I do not own hetalia, but hetalia probably owns me, my soul, and my first born**

this was supposed to be a one shot. I tried condensing it into a one shot. It would not agree with me. this is no longer a one shot.

Alright so this is for CaCoPhOnY Of ScReAmS (SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER) Who said in most fics, Gilbert's always crashing at Matthew's, so for a change, Matthew should go chill with Gilbert. Which is so, so true, and I've always wanted to make a story in this format so that was like..perfect prompt. So like always, I got carried away /shot

to anyone who reads any of my other shit, yes, I will write a serious fanfic for once. It's just not going to be this one ;p this one's probably going to end up a bit (really) crack-y

this is going to be a mix of e-mails, facebook (hetabook ololol) text messages, post-cards, actual story, who the fuck knows

**warnings: **Human and country names both used, eventual PruCan, and the regulars that probably will never stop cropping up in my story; crack, substance use and abuse, and a whole lot of bad language

REVIEWS ARE SUPER DUPER LOVED

* * *

**Arrival**

* * *

**From: **Alfred F. Jones

**To: **Matthew Williams

**Subject: **Meeting

I got a totally awesome plan for that comet that may or may not be heading towards our Earth in a hundred years or so, and I was wondering if you would like to meet up and I could run it over with you before I show it to my boss. He always asks me to check my plans with you for some reason before telling him for some reason. Something about the "value of my time" or something. So whenever you're free, I'd like to arrange a meeting and tell you my plan. It's got robots :)

- Alfred F. Jones, United States of America

* * *

**From: **Matthew Williams

**To: **Alfred F. Jones

**Subject: **RE: Meeting

_This is an automated message._

Hi! If you're getting this message, I'm currently out of office and am unable to respond to my e-mail. You can either contact my through my personal e-mail, or my cell phone at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

-Matthew Williams, Canada

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **no subject

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude where are you? your email says your out of office and kumajirou came knocking at my door yesterday (how the fuck did he travel across from Ottawa?) and said you were gone somewhere and that I had to take care of him for the next two weeks.

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

Matthew sighed, checking the time on his watch again. His phone had died, and he hadn't been able to send or receive messages or calls. He had tried using a pay phone, but he had only Gilbert's cell number memorized, and his friend didn't seem to be picking up the phone.

He had been waiting near the baggage claim area, where he was supposed to be picked up by Ludwig and Gilbert. He had been waiting for almost 2 hours, and was sure that the duffel bag he had been sitting on would have a permanent imprint of his ass. He considered calling a cab to their place, but decided against it, just in case they did show up.

Which, hopefully they did.

_I hope they haven't forgotten me, _Matthew thought sourly, as he fiddled with the drawstrings on his maple leaf hoodie again. _Or the fact that I was coming._

He wouldn't be surprised at the latter, since this whole trip had been so last-minute. Three days ago, on his birthday, he had received two tickets and a letter in the mail from Gilbert, asking him to come stay with him and his brother.

Matthew normally didn't like doing things on such short notice, travelling across the world included, but Gilbert had _insisted _on him coming over, saying it would be a good way to pay Matthew back for all the times he crashed at his house. Matthew vaguely thought that it was because he had jokingly said that Gilbert would have to start paying rent since he was practically living with him now.

After clearing his schedule with his boss, which had been quite a bitch unto itself due to the amount of work he always had, he found himself packing up and heading to the airport.

A few hours of a noisy flight, a stop over in Amsterdam, and another few hours of flight, and no sleep whatsoever, had left Matthew with a splitting headache.

It didn't help that Ludwig and Gilbert were _still _not here. He wallowed in his misery as people ghosted by him, none of them the people he was looking for.

It was when he was wondering if he had enough money to get piss drunk at a nearby bar or pub or _something_, he heard a voice, loud, cheerful, and unmistakably..._Italian?_

"America! America! Look over there, Ludwig!"

"Not so loud in public!"

"Ame-What the fuck? Oh wait, Matt!"

He stood up, hearing his bones creak from stiffness as he did, and saw a cheerful brunette and a hyper-active albino charging towards him, dragging an exasperated blond behind them.

"Matthew!" Gilbert yelled, semi-tackling him into a bear hug. Matthew choked for air as his best friend lifted him off the floor and spun him around. "I'm so glad you came!"

"Gilbert! I'm not a girl! Put me down!" Matthew sputtered, struggling out of the death grip. Gilbert finally dropped him down, but still kept an arm around his shoulders. Ludwig coughed from behind, clearly looking embarrassed. Feliciano, on the other hand, looked completely confused.

"I thought America...Alfred...ve, I don't get this."

"Um...Matthew Williams." Matthew said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. Feliciano looked like he was drawing a blank, so Matthew continued on. "Canada?"

Seeing Feliciano still confused (and was that Ludwig muttering O_h, so that's not America? _to Gilbert?), Matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. He put on his best fake smile, because rules dictated that he couldn't be anything other than polite, not at first anyways.

Hopefully, this forgetfulness wouldn't last through the whole 'vacation' that he was taking, because it wouldn't be very good if his host forgot who he was.

"So, um, are we going directly to your home?" He asked, looking to Gilbert.

Ludwig's eyes slightly widened, and he turned to Gilbert and whispered something in German, to which Gilbert rolled his eyes and replied in English, much to his brother's embarrassment.

"What the fuck do you mean, _is he actually staying at our place_, I told you that he was this morning!"

The fake smile Matthew had was really killing his face.

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject: **RE:no subject

Sorry Al, my phone died and I haven't had the chance to charge it yet. I just got off my flight today. I'm on vacation and I'm currently in Berlin, Germany and I'm staying with Gilbert and his brother at their house. I'm staying here for two weeks, and then I'll be back in Ottawa on the first Monday of next month. If you want to call me, call me on my cell because we're going to be out and about a lot. But if you absolutely can't reach me call their house. I think Berlin's around 6 hours ahead of Washington DC though, so look at the time before you call. I don't want you calling in the middle of night and disturb the sleeping house.

Sorry about Kumajirou, I told him where I kept all his food, but I guess he just forgot. Feed him maple-syrup and fish, and he should be good. Try and bathe him if you can too, because he might start to smell a bit, and don't look at his eyelashes. I don't know how he got there so fast, but he's been doing that a lot lately, ever since India and China came to visit. He's also been carrying around a small weird carpet, and I think that might have something to do with it.

-Matt

* * *

**Matthew William****s **In Germany :)

2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Miguel Lopez** how long are you there for?  
10 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** IN germany? but i thought you never topped  
9 minutes ago · Like · **2 people** like this

**Elizabeta Héderváry** OMG you're with gilbert AND ludwig? pictures pleeeeease?  
8 minutes ago · Like · **1 person** likes this

**Arthur Kirkland** Peter, for the life of me, I'm not even going to ask why you liked that.  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams** go die, alfred. And no, Elizabeta, I'm not with anyone. And I'm here for two weeks. And Peter...?  
7 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** PETER YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO JACK OFF TO GAY PORN  
6 minutes ago · Like · **8**** people** like this

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **to** Matthew Williams **i can't believe you left me with your smelly bear :( he smells like an old vagina

46 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall  
**Gilbert Beilschmidt** likes this.

**Alfred Hero Jones **to** Matthew Williams **and how the hell do I clean him?

43 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **with soap?

35 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Alfred Hero Jones **to** Matthew Jones **well no shit. i meant how would i have gotten him to let me clean him. neways i doped him and he let me wash him. and he also let me shave my name into his back. he's so much cooler than you

4 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall  
**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and **Lars V.** like this.

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones** I will kill you.

3 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall  
******Ivan Braginski **and****** Arthur Kirkland** like this.

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject: **Time Difference

Alfred F. Jones, Berlin is 6 hours ahead of Washington D.C

That means, if you're calling at 9, it's 3 in the morning here. I know that you think I'm going to be getting drunk and wasted most nights, but this is the first night. So I really don't appreciate you calling at this time. It's disturbing Ludwig's sleep and he's not too happy about it, and neither is Gilbert. We have an early day tomorrow, and I'd like to get some sleep too. I know I told you this on the phone 5 minutes ago, but I don't think you got it because you're calling again.

And again

and again

Christ Alfred, is it that hard to just get the fucking idea!

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **RE:Time Difference

ask nicely :)

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **RE:Time Difference

hey matt

I wanna know something

DO YOU HAVE SOME FUCKING TELEPATHIC FUCKING CONNECTION WITH YOUR FUCKING BEAR BECAUSE THE BEAR TALKED TO ME AND TOLD ME TO STOP IRRITATING YOU WHAT THE FUCK AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE SON OF A BITCH DID HE FUCKING ATTACKED ME WITH THOSE FUCKING BEADY EYES AND I HAVE TO HIDE IN MY CLOSET

AND THOSE CLAWS

DO YOU FUCKING SHARPEN THEM OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject: **RE:RE:Time Difference

I do. Goodnight.

-Matt

**

* * *

**

here's my weird excuse for a prologue. I had no clue how to set the story up :C After this, chapters will be longer, haha


	2. Day One

**disclaimer: **do not own

two pruCan fics running simultaneously. yup, i'm cool.

ayeeeeee thanks for the reviews :'D I'm glad you guys liked reading the format as much as I liked writing it.

if you want them to go anywhere/do anything special, throw me a line and I'll see if I can fit it in :'D

* * *

**Day One**

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Gilbo the Great

**Subject:** no subject

Preußen! Ich weiß, was Ihre Absichten sind! Lassen Sie meinen Bruder sofort los, oder ich komme dorthin auf den folgenden Flug und trete Ihren Esel, also stark sind Sie nicht in der Lage, für den Rest Ihres Lebens zu gehen!

!

!

!

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Gilbo the Great

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE:no subject

can you not send me your rage rant if you're using an online translator

-Sir Awesome

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Gilbert Beilschmidt **Unhand my brother, fiend!

25 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Alfred Hero Jones **no  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **to** Gilbert Beilschmidt **yes  
23 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to** Alfred Hero Jones **no  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **to** Gilbert Beilschmidt **yes  
19 minutes ago · Like

**Lovino Vargas **you fucktards are clogging up my newsfeed

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like ·** 3**** people **like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **deal with it

4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **alfred, could you please stop pestering Gilbert..I'm here by my own choice :/

4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **OMG MATT YOU'RE AWAKE

3 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Gil  
__Message: GET__ UP_

___________From: Gil  
__Message: __WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES_  


___From: Gil  
__Message: GET__ UP_

_______________From: Gil  
__Message: __WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES_  


_____From: Gil  
__Message: __GET UP_

_________________From: Gil  
__Message: __WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES_  


_______From: Gil  
__Message: __GET UP_

___________________From: Gil  
__Message: __WEST MAKES SHIT PANCAKES_  


_________From: Gil  
__Message: __GET UP_

___________From: Matt  
__Message: __is it that hard to just come up stairs and wake me up instead of texting me 50 times_

_________________________From: Gil  
__Message: oh. k if you want me i'll be up in a mo ;)_

_______________________________________From: Matt  
__Message: i didn't mean it like that gil _

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: ill bring syrup ;p_

_______________________________________From: Matt  
__Message: no_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: :(_

_________________________From: Gil_

_________________________Message: maaatttieeeeee hurry up these pancakes aren't gonna make themselves_

* * *

On weekends and vacations, Matthew had the habit of staying in bed under the blankets for an extra ten minutes or so after he woke up, checking his e-mail and the like.

Gilbert did not like the habit, and decided that he'd drag Matthew out of bed. Not that his amount of sheer awesome wasn't enough to get the Canadian out of bed, but he liked terrorizing the kid.

So he sneaked up the stairs, and peeked through the crack of the door frame. There was a large lump on the bed, and Gilbert assumed that Matthew was huddled underneath the black blankets. Gilbert straightened himself up, before he walked into the room and told Matthew to wake up.

Minus the walking. It was more of a charge, as he declared his awesomeness to have officially entered the room. He jumped onto the bed, straight onto the lump, and wrapped his legs and arms around it in the ultimate death lock. Matthew let out a strangled yell of surprise and pain.

"Holy fu-Gilbert!" Matthew's head slipped out of the covers, but the rest of his body was still trapped within the blankets and Gilbert. Gilbert was holding onto him like a big teddy bear, and had rolled so that Matthew's face was pressing into the mattress. Matthew struggled, but Gilbert's body seemed fifty times heavier when it was on top of him.

"Are you awake yet, Mattie? Wanna get up?"

"Uhhhck yuuuh."

"Kesesese, I can't hear you~"

Gilbert got another muffled response from the blond, and kesesese'd again. Matthew wrenched his head to the side so that he could at least breath and form some legible words.

"Did you _have _to do that, Gilbert?"

Gilbert wriggled his lower half a bit, increasing the discomfort level of the man beneath him.

"Well, you weren't getting out of bed, so I thought I'd come help you."

"I don't think pinning someone to the bed is a good way to get them out, eh?" Matthew protested, still not being able to move from underneath Gilbert.

"I suppose you're right, it's a better way to get them in. I think I'm doing a good job, either way, right?"

"..I was already in bed."

"That's because you're too easy~" Gilbert said, and Matthew tried to shoot him a scalding look. Except he still couldn't move his head much.

"The fuck Gil, just get off me."

"Tch tch, not until you say what I want to hear."

"And, pray tell, what is it that you want to hear?"

"Take a guess." Gilbert leaned in, so his face was hovering directly above the side of Matthew's. "Take a wild, wild guess."

"Sir Awesome?" Matthew guessed, and Gilbert shook his head. "Gil, I think you're cutting off my entire circulation."

"Ah ah ah, I'm not letting go of you till you say it."

"What if I don't want to say it?"

"Say it, Matthew~"

"What if I don't?"

"Then I'll flip you over and-"

"Matthew?" A deep voice came from the doorway, and Gilbert craned his neck to look. Ludwig's eyes widened slightly as he saw the scene, and Matthew felt himself turning red with humiliation at being caught in a very compromising position. Gilbert looked back at Matthew, and saw his friend blushing.

"Wow, West, way to kill the mood here." He said, turning his head towards his brother, smirking. He could see his brother go slightly pink.

"Well, breakfast is done so whenever you and Matthew are done, feel free to come down." Ludwig said. Ludwig had a look of utmost sympathy on his face, though Gilbert was sure it was entirely for Matthew, who had now buried his face back into the mattress in an attempt to suffocate himself. Gilbert rolled off, looking triumphant in having embarrassed both his brother and Matthew. Matthew took a sharp intake of breath as a decent amount of air was finally able to reach his lungs.

"I hate you, Gil." He wheezed, still on his stomach, glaring at Gilbert, who just grinned in return. "Now your brother probably has the wrong idea about us."

"I'm sure he doesn't." Gilbert replied happily. "He probably just thinks we're fuckin' or something."

"I'm pretty sure he _does, _because we don't sleep together."

"Hey," Gilbert furrowed his brow in mock confusion. "We sleep together all the time."

Matthew turned onto his side, facing Gilbert, and rolled his eyes.

"I meant in the _other _way. You know, that we don't have sex."

"Ohhhh." Gilbert inched closer to Matthew, who inched further away. "Do you want to change that?"

Matthew stared at him for a second, as if wondering if Gilbert was really serious. Gilbert wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, then at seeing Matthew's slightly shocked face, burst out into loud laughter.

"Kesesese, the look on your face was priceless~"

"S-Shut up!"

And then Matthew was crushed again underneath the force that was Gilbert, as he bear-hugged him, (totally not) squealing

"It was so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!"

* * *

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Going out to groceries w. Feliciano. When you guys are done upstairs, there's breakfast on the table _

___From: Gil  
Message: the breakfast's shitty can we make cake instead_

_____From: Ludwig  
Message: you'll destroy the kitchen_

_______From: Gil  
Message: okay thanks :)_  


* * *

**Matthew Williams **baking cake baking cake baking cake

4 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** baking cake baking cake baking cake  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** baking like a cake  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** baking while baked  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** feel free to join larsy-pie  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** hahaha pie  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** let's bake a pie with weed like our cake with weed  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** baking pie baking pie baking pie baking pie  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** you know who we sound like  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** who  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** marry me brother marry marry marry marry marry marry  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** marry marry marry marry marry marry marry  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** marry marry marry marry marry marry marry  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** marry marry marry marry marry marry marry  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** marry marry marry marry marry marry marry  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** dude you shoulda told me that shit in person i'm rigt beside u  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** why  
4 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Natalia Arlovskaya** Take a guess.  
1 hour ago · Like

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: yo you know that hugeass embroidery hanging or whatever eyebrows got you last year for your birthday _

___From: Ludwig  
Message: Yes?_

_From: Gil  
Message: how much did you value it?_

___From: Ludwig  
Message: ...why?_

_From: Gil  
Message: wellllllllllllllllll i kinda used it to put out a fire_

* * *

Matthew groaned from the sofa he was sprawled across, and woke up to Ludwig and Gilbert sitting on the floor watching soccer on the television. The smell of pasta floated in from the kitchen, and Matthew let his head flop back down onto the cushions.

He could _not _believe he spent the first few hours of his first full day in Germany getting wasted with Gilbert and baking enough to feed an army. He looked at his wrist-watch, which had its time adjusted, and it now read 8 in the evening. Guilt started to bubble up, as he remembered all the things they had planned for today, which didn't include running down a neighbourhood that was normally quiet and not used to seeing a half-naked albino running down the street, nor were they used to seeing an absurdly-happy blonde following close by sloppily dressed in an old, worn out lederhosen.

Matthew did not really remember how _that _happened, but he did remember that Ludwig had found them while he was driving back and hauled them home, admonishing Gilbert repeatedly. Matthew had apologized continuously, but Ludwig had brushed it off, saying it was purely the fault of Gilbert's influence.

Even if they had used Matthew's weed.

When they had gotten home, Ludwig had been greeted by stacks upon stacks of cake and pastries. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks, and Gilbert and Feliciano were the first to dive in. Matthew joined, and after a long time of hesitation, Ludwig had too. Soon, not only was cake being eaten, but, thanks to Gilbert bringing out some beer, they were having a mid-day feast.

Matthew remembered something vague about Gilbert "cleaning" the icing off of him, and then started to turn red at the memory. He was sure that shortly after that, due to a combination of various substances, jet lag, and general fatigue, he had passed out on the couch.

"Yo Matt, you woke up." Gilbert said distractedly, while watching the game. He too had had a little nap, and he, not having the same things that Matthew had encumbering him, was at a somewhat normal state.

"Mm." Was all Matthew could think of as a response, because he felt sleep slowly hit him again.

Like a ton of bricks.

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas **tagged **Gilbert Beilschmidt **and **Matthew Williams** in a picture.

35 minutes ago · Like · **Elizabeta Héderváry** likes this

**Elizabeta Héderváry **sooo cuuuute!**  
**34 minutes ago · Like · **2 people **like this

**Francis Bonnefoy **oh the joys of l'armour~  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland** that's not what it is, you bloody frog, these two are obviously just enjoying their friendship.  
32 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** LOL WTF "ENJOYING THEIR FRIENDSHIP" get off the internet, old man  
31 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **But Gilbert's licking icing off dear Mathieu's face!  
31 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **and they're both so reeeddddddddd omg this is totally adorable**  
**30 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland** kiss my arse, Alfred. and Francis, Elizabeta, please don't encourage them any further.  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **and the twinkle in mathieu's eyes! ahhh, papa is so proud!  
28 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **we were/are baked. this is normal shit  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **and he even let matthew call him Gilly~~~~~  
18 minutes ago · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **I'm not surprised the whole day was wasted like this  
18 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **there's more? :'D**  
**12 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **...if I wasn't so awesome, I think i'd have just died of embarrasment  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **i think i just did  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** guess what I fooound

your beardogthing let me into your house

and guess what I found :)

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE: guess what I fooound

my weed?

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE:RE: guess what I fooound

aside from that

I also found your diary

and I read it

and guess what i readdd

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE: guess what I fooound

when I get back, I will murder you

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE: guess what I fooound

now I know _whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy_ you're visiting staying with prussia in germany

tee hee

in germany

ANYWAYS

you can never hide things from brother dear :)

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

I always spend like the first ten minutes in bed checking my email and texting people how I don't want to go to school

The German email that Alfred sent was indeed shoved through an online translator because authencity is good ;p

It says:

prussia! I know what your intentions are! Let go of my brother immediately or I will come over there on the next flight and kick your ass so hard you will not be able to walk for the rest of your life


	3. Day Two

**Day Two**

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Matthew Williams **OMG YOU KNOW WHAT I REALISED

15 minutes ago · Like · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Matthew Williams **YOU DIDN'T COME TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY BECAUSE YOU WERE FLYING TO GO PRANCING AROUND WITH THOSE LOSERS

15 minutes ago · Like · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Matthew Williams **LOW BLOW BRO LOW BLOW

14 minutes ago · Like · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Matthew Williams **YOU ALBINO SUCKING WHORE

14 minutes ago · Like · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall  
**Gilbert Beilschmidt **likes this.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **I wish :(

10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Alfred Hero Jones **fiend

9 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Alfred, it's not very nice to post things like that on your brother's wall for the public to see

8 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **shut up mom you're no better and i know it was you who drank all the booze at my party just to spite me and make me have to spend money on more you owe me 150

7 minutes ago · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Arthur Kirkland **I'm not your mother, you bloody arse!

5 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **good morning to you too

2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** even francis agreed artie ^ and inbox me matt

1 minute ago · Like

* * *

Between **Alfred Hero Jones **and **You**

**Matthew Williams **July 6th at 08:00

what

**Alfred Hero Jones **July 6th at 08:03

i can't believe you missed my awesome party :(

**Matthew Williams **July 6th at 8:04

Alfred, I spent the whole of day before with you.

Sent via Mobile Web

**Alfred Hero Jones **July 6th at 08:04

SO

**Matthew Williams ** July 6th at 8:04

so I don't see why you're getting your panties in a bunch

Sent via Mobile Web

**Alfred Hero Jones **July 6th at 08:05

you left me for gilbert beilschmidt

i repeat

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT

the guy's cool and I don't mind if you have loser friends (you hang out with cuba afterall)

BUT

the guy's as much of a rapist as francis!

and in the light of recent events (me reading your diary)

YOU SHOULDN'T HANG OUT WITH HIM

HE'LL TOUCH YOU LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T BE TOUCHED

fyi alfred f. jones wears boxers not panties kthnx

**Matthew Williams **July 6th at 8:06

he's my friend!

(and we spent the whole day before i left together alfred, and you tried to set kumajiiji on fire and we both got drunk and then Arthur had to take us out of jail and it was only early evening )

and what the fuck!

why did you read my journal!

!

how much did you read?

just because we have the largest undefended border doesn't mean I can't go apeshit on you eh

fyi matthew williams don't be carin what kind of underwear alfred f. jones be wearin

Sent via Mobile Web

**Alfred Hero Jones **July 6th at 08:09

ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU CONSIDERED THAT OFFER THAT FRANCIS ANTONIO AND GILBERT MADE ONCE (LIKE REALLY, MATT? YOU'RE FUCKING DISGUSTING)

ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU SECRETLY THINK THE WINO AND THE WALKING EYEBROWS ARE BOTH REALLY ATTRACTIVE AND YOU'RE GLAD YOU CAN CALL THEM YOUR FATHER FIGURES FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS

ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU WANT GILBERT AS MORE THAN A FRIEND

ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU'RE LUSTING AFTER HIM LIKE FRANCIS LUSTS AFTER THE WORLD

BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "HE REMEMBERS ME AND HE'S LOUD AND KIND OF WEIRD BUT REALLY ATTRACTIVE AT THE SAME TIME AND HE'S NICE TO ME AND WE GET ALONG SO WELL EVEN THOUGH HE'S A WEIRDO AND I LIKE HIM AND HE GETS ME HORNY AND I FIND MYSELF THINKING/FANTASIZNG HOW GOOD HE'D BE IN BED BECAUSE I MATTHEW WILLIAMS AM TWISTED IN THE HEAD UNLIKE MY AMAZING HEROIC SEXYFUCK BROTHER, ALFRED, WHO DOESN'T LUST AFTER PASTY ALBINOS"

ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME AND WON'T KILL ME EVEN THOUGH I SCANNED IN A LOT OF THE PAGES BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU HURT ME I CAN JUST EMAIL THEM TO YOUR SOON-TO-BE-SEXTOY

fyi nice slang-y talk

**Matthew Williams **July 6th at 8:11

...

Alfred Motherfucking Jones.

I hate you.

Like.

A lot.

But I won't hurt you...just...please alfred f. jones, united states of america, best brother in the world, best hero ever.

DON'T FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THINGS GOOD IN (YOUR) LIFE, SEND OR SHOW THOSE TO ANYONE

*ANY*ONE

fyi go die

Sent via Mobile Web

**Alfred Hero Jones **July 6th at 08:15

atta boy :)

and dude, not mother fucking. i only did that once.

fyi no u

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: Guess what I goooottttttt_

_From:Matt  
Message: what_

_From: Gil  
Message: Got the cool car. put your big boy pants on because were going drivin _

_From:Matt  
Message: Where are we going _

_From: Gil  
Message: who knows, but we're driving. specifically, -your- driving. so come down soon :D_

* * *

After the first few minutes, Matthew's knuckles had retained their original colour. Somewhat.

He was still getting used to the fact that they were going rather..._fast._

No, fast was an understatement.

Matthew never went over a hundred kilometers per hour back home (110 at the max), and he never got a speeding ticket in his life.

And now, he was on an infernal stretch of highway, at 200 and pushing while Gilbert egged him on from the passenger seats.

Earlier that morning, after breakfast, Gilbert had casually tossed to him a set of keys, telling him that they were going to go on a picnic, and he had the basked already packed. Matthew had blinked, hearing the amount of enthusiasm in Gilbert's voice, and found himself wondering if it was secretly Feliciano speaking. They had hopped into the car, with Gilbert at the wheel. Matthew was confused, because Gilbert had told him to hold on to the keys because he would need it very soon.

A good twenty minutes later, they pulled up to a rather large garage. Gilbert told Matthew that he would finally get the chance to drive a "real" car instead of that "random American shit you always drive", and that's when Matthew had realized what the keys were for. He was too busy looking at how expensive (and deadly) the car looked, and didn't hear whatever brand it belonged to. All he remembered was that it was German. Gilbert told Matthew that _he'd_ be the one driving, since Ludwig didn't really trust Gilbert with it and Gilbert wanted to be a good older brother and actually listen for a change. Matthew protested, Gilbert laughed, and then fifteen minutes after _that_, Matthew had found him driving on to a road that didn't have a speed limit, and a car that didn't seem like it had one either.

Gilbert had encouraged him to go faster and faster, saying that he should be more manly. Matthew pointed out that Gilbert was holding a wicker picnic basket with a checkered cloth on top in his lap so he really shouldn't be talking, all while trying to not crap himself as other cars whizzed by them. But he'd be lying if he didn't say that after the initial 'holy shit this is mother fucking fast' reaction, he had started to enjoy himself.

"Fuck, this is _great_." Gilbert said happily, as he stared out the window on the passenger side, watching as the trees blurred by them.

"Mhmm." Matthew replied, his eyes fixated on the road. Driving so fast was actually rather liberating, and he could feel a small smile forming on his face.

* * *

_From:Ludwig  
Message: where's the car_

_From:Gil  
Message: in the garage_

___From:Ludwig  
Message: not the normal car. one of the *other* cars._

_____From:Gil  
Message: in one of the *other* garages?_  


_From:Ludwig  
Message: You know which one I'm talking about._

_From:Gil  
Message: hmm...nein :)_

_From:Ludwig  
Message: If it's not back in one shape..._

* * *

"Turn right here?"

"Yep."

They had taken a detour somewhere, driving through a city then a small town and then a small village. Soon, they were surrounded more and more by nature and forests, and now they were going down a more secluded road. Matthew slowed down as the road beneath them slowly started to deteriorated as he turned into the hidden entrance.

Matthew drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, humming a bit as he listened to the gravel and rocks beneath the car crunch.

"So...where are we going?" he asked after a while, admiring the greenness surrounding them.

"Well there's a really cool place I wanna show you that's slightly off this road...It's totally awesome. Go left on that fork."

Matthew obeyed, and the what had been left of the road had become dirt. They were surrounded by the forest, and drove in silence for around ten minutes. The trees around the road started to lessen, and Matthew started to see hints of shimmering water. Soon, they were curving around a rather large and isolated body of water. Matthew did a slightly sharp intake as he saw the lake.

"Gilbert, it's _beautiful._" he said quietly as he looked around, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Gilbert said, sounding nonchalant, but mirrored the smile. "Pull over on that shoulder...yeah just there."

Matthew pulled over, bringing the car to a complete stop at the shoulder of the road. "This place is so awesome!"

Gilbert gave him an expectant look, and Matthew rolled his eyes playfully.

"Alright. It's _almost_ as awesome as you."

Matthew did think that his country had some of the most beautiful nature, but he was pretty sure this place came in a very close second. Short trees and tall plants lined the space in between the road and the lake. The place was quiet, with the occasional bird chirping and small animal scampering through. They sat in silence, Matthew looking around, appreciating the view while Gilbert watched Matthew from the corner of his eye.

After a short while, Matthew finally spoke up.

"So, what are we going to do?" he asked, looking at Gilbert. "Picnic?"

"I prefer to call it something less pansy." Gilbert replied, and Matthew stared.

"You brought a wicker basket with sandwiches and juice. And with a red and white checkered blanket on top. How is that _not _pansy?"

"I packed wurst."

"Does it change anything?"

"Shut up. Hey- don't laugh!" Gilbert sniffed and looked away, and Matthew continued to chuckle. "Not awesome."

"Sure, sure." Matthew patted Gilbert's shoulder reassuringly, and Gilbert flicked his hand away.

"Get out of the car. And, by the way, _you're _carrying the basket." Gilbert said, dumping the basket onto Matthew's lap. "I'm not going to be seen with that thing."

"You were perfectly fine waving it around the garage, where there were actually people around."

"Shut up." Gilbert grumbled, slamming the door behind him as he stepped out of the car. Matthew let out another chuckle as he followed suit.

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **King Arthur

**Subject:** BIG NEWS

MATT'S IN LOVE WITH GILBERT

GILBERT

_GILBERT!_

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **King Arthur

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE:BIG NEWS

Okay?

-Arthur

* * *

"Look at that motherfucker!" Gilbert said happily, as the stone skipped across the water eleven times, each skip rather large.

Gilbird chirped in agreement, hovering over Gilbert, and Matthew just grinned from where he was sitting on the blanket, chewing on a large pretzel.

They had laid out the cloth on a small dirt clearing right on the bank of the lake after they arrived, and had eaten lunch. Gilbert played with a lighter while they were eating, setting random plants near them on fire before quickly putting them out. At one point, he had tried to set Matthew's sandwich on fire, which had earned him a hard smack on the head. He had grumbled something about "un-fun losers", but joined in the laughter anyways.

Matthew and Gilbert just lazed about the lake, either wading into the water with their sleeves rolled up, or walking through the grass. They even attempted a game of "extreme" hide and go seek, where Matthew spent half an hour looking for Gilbert, before finding him perched near the top of one of the taller trees lining the outside of the forest. Predictably, Gilbert, not used to climbing down trees, had to wait for Matthew to climb up and help him down. Being teased for _that _had led to Gilbert getting Matthew in a headlock when they hit the ground, clamping his nose till he admitted that Gilbert was still the most awesome thing on the earth, and that he would never, _ever_ repeat this incident. Ever again.

Matthew looked on as Gilbert continued to skip rocks across the lake, and was struck by how peaceful the ex-nation looked. Even though he was cursing like no tomorrow every time a rock failed to skip, and made rude hand gestures to both the lake and Matthew as he teased him, Gilbert looked very happy, and very at home.

It was only the second full day he was in Germany (being a nation, that still didn't sound right to him), and he was already having a lot of fun. It was much nicer than the times Cuba invited him over, and forgot that he wasn't America. Plus he was with Gilbert, which just made things...better. Matthew had to smile slightly to himself at the thought.

Then he slightly blushed, as he remembered that Alfred had read his journal. It was hard enough telling it to a notebook, and Matthew was absolutely mortified when Alfred told him he knew about his slight (alright, bigger than that) crush on Gilbert. Matthew found himself going even pinker as he remembered what exactly it was that he wrote in his diary. Being the ever-efficient person, he had actually listed down every single thing that he liked about Gilbert within the book. And, when Gilbert had given him the tickets, he had written a rather enthusiastic entry about how excited he was...and a rather shy one afterwards, where he wrote that this could _possibly _be the big chance for him to tell Gilbert that he liked him, and for them to maybe get together.

And Alfred had read it. All.

_I'm going to kill him,_ Matthew thought sourly. _And then I'm going to tie him up and send him to Francis with ten crates of lube._

"Yo, Mattie, you okay?"

Matthew snapped out of his reverie to find that Gilbert had plonked down beside him and taken the half eaten pretzel out of his hand.

"Yeah, why?"

"You were just sitting there, going kind of red."

"O-Oh." Matthew raised his hand to touch his burning cheek. He cursed his tendencies to blush often, especially when he was thinking back on rather embarrassing moments. "Ahh, I guess I'm just a little..sick from the water?"

"Hmmm." Gilbert scooted closer to Matthew, and raised a hand to his fore head. "You are sort of warm. Damn. Get on here."

He patted his lap, and Matthew's eyes widened slightly.

"G-Gil."

"Put your head on my lap." Gilbert clarified, smirking slightly. "I need to check something."

"What?"

"Your eyeballs."

Matthew blinked for a second, not quite sure of what he heard.

"My _eyeballs_?"

"Yeah. They're the best indicators of whether you're sick or not."

Matthew gulped a bit, not knowing whether to believe the man, but nodded anyways. Gilbert shifted behind him, and pulled the back of Matthew's shirt till his head was in his lap. Red eyes squinted down at Matthew, and Matthew tried to will his blush away.

Using two fingers, Gilbert stretched the eyelids of Matthew's right eye open and inspected the eyeball..

"Hmmm." He said, looking intently into the eye. "Interesting."

He let go, and Gilbert repeated the action with his other eye, this time taking longer to examine it.

"Well." He said finally, letting Matthew blink away the dryness. "You better not be getting sick, because you're on fucking vacation and that's not awesome."

"I'll try." Matthew replied, and Gilbert hummed again.

"Go to sleep." The silver haired man commanded, and Matthew raised his eyebrows.

"Why?" _In your lap? _But Matthew decided not to ask the last part.

"Because I said so, that's why. And rest is good for you so that you don't conk off in the middle of the week."

Matthew didn't reply, and Gilbert cupped his cheeks with his hands.

Smushing them together, he said "I'm not going to let you go till you sleep."

"Mfah."

"Sorry?"

"Lef gof of mah fashe" Matthew said, his speech coming out slightly funny.

"Not until you go to sleep."

Matthew glared at him from beneath.

"How I can I go ta shleep if yuh dunn leggo?"

"True."

But Gilbert didn't let go of Matthew's face until Matthew finally gave up and closed his eyes. Matthew found that he was slightly drowsy after all, and as Gilbert let go of his face and tapped Matthew's forehead in approval, Matthew slipped into a light sleep.

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **King Arthur

**Subject:** RE:RE:BIG NEWS

I LIKE GILBERT AND ALL BUT HE'S TOO DIRTY FOR MATTHEW

WANT TO COME WITH ME TO GERMANY AND CRASH AT LUDWIGS' SO THAT WE CAN KEEP HIS DIRTY HANDS OFF MY INNOCENT BROTHER?

PLEASE?

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **King Arthur

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:BIG NEWS

no.

-Arthur

* * *

Gilbert looked down at the head on his lap, and resisted the urge to run his fingers through the golden hair, because that was only for pansy people in love. And he was _not _a pansy person in love. He was a fucking _awesome_ person...who was totally infatuated with the man who was currently using him as a pillow.

It hadn't taken him long to figure out that he actually had a thing for his Canadian friend, because repressing feelings were for lame people like England and Romano. However, finding a way to admit it was a totally different thing. It wasn't like he had a problem admitting his feelings out loud or anything. He had plenty of experience telling Austria he was a pansy, Russia that he hated him, and Hungary that she was bat shit crazy but an awesome friend anyways.

It was just that with Matthew, he wanted to be a bit more "tactful", as his brother put it. Gilbert didn't want to annoy his friend instead of seducing him.

That's why he had come up with the awesome plan of inviting Matthew over to stay with him for a couple of weeks. He would slowly woo him, and by the end of his stay, he and Matthew would be together. And he could move in with him, because he was pretty sure Ludwig was fed up of him. He was pretty sure his little brother was fed up with him a long time ago, but he had decided to bestow his awesomeness upon him anyways, because Ludwig was too much of a stick in the mud.

Gilbert was also pretty sure that Matthew liked him back if the weird message from Alfred, who normally didn't interfere with Matthew's friendships due to Matthew being good with threats and hockey sticks, was anything to go by. He had noticed that when he was with him, Matthew was just a little more exuberant and a little more...himself. He showed his more snarky side around Gilbert, but Gilbert was also sure that he acted more affectionate towards him. From what he knew, when _Alfred_ had come knocking at Matthew's door at 4 am in the morning, Matthew had put cayenne pepper in his pancakes.

Matthew shifted slightly, muttering something in his sleep about how Gilbert shouldn't set Kumajirou's fur on fire, and Gilbert had to grin slightly. Gilbird had nestled himself near the crook of Matthew's neck, and both of them were dozing peacefully. Gilbert actually had no idea what the fuck your eyeballs had to do with whether you were sick or not, but it had got the slightly smaller blond close to him and that was good enough.

Matthew wasn't flushed anymore, and Gilbert came to the conclusion that instead of Matthew _really_ being sick, he had just been reliving some embarrassing moment in his head which he wouldn't admit to Gilbert. Yet.

_So cute..._ Gilbert thought absent-mindedly. He did allow himself to shift a strand of hair from Matthew's forehead and tuck it behind his ear. It crossed his mind that he should take a picture of Matthew in this state, so he pulled out his phone from his pocket. Turning off the sound so the click wouldn't wake Matthew up, he took a picture and saved it to his phone.

_Hey, look, I'm getting reception..._

* * *

******Gilbert Beilscmidt **posted a picture via Mobile Web  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

******Gilbert Beilscmidt **tagged **Matthew Williams **in a picture.**  
**45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like· **Feliciano Vargas**,**Elizabeta Héderváry**, and****** Francis Bonnefoy **like this

**Francis Bonnefoy **this is why I'm so glad Mathieu took after me and not rosbif~ I imagine that picture would have been ruined with those giant eyebrows  
45 minutes ago · Like · **5**** people **like this

**Arthur Kirkland **watch it, frog**  
**43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz** totes getting cavaties here gilbear**  
**40 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Feliciano Vargas **your friend looks so cute, ve~ but ludwig's kind of upset about you taking the car still :(**  
**40 minutes ago · Like

**Antonio F.C **awww, so cute but its funny that this is really the guy who beat you in a drinking contest**  
**40 minutes ago · Like

**Mathias Thomsen **LOL I REMEMBER THAT**  
**38 minutes ago · Like

**Lars V. **and then he had to go streaking down the road with a giant Canadian flag, if I remember correctly. **  
**36 minutes ago · Like · **9 people **like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **I thought we had agreed never talk about that ever again**  
**2 minutes ago · Like

**Lars V. **no that was just you **  
**1 minute ago · Like

* * *

_____From:Gil  
Message: hey luuuudwiiiig wanna come pick us up the car's out of gas_  


_From:Ludwig  
Message: It's your own fault for not checking before you left_

_____From:Gil  
Message: is that a yes :)_  


_From:Ludwig  
Message: find your own way home _

_____From:Gil  
Message: bitch_  


_From:Gil  
Message: Feliiiiiii, luddy's being mean and he left us stranded in the woods without gas :(_

_From:Ludwig  
Message: I'm coming to pick you up. Did you really have to text Feliciano? You know how he gets_

_____From:Gil  
Message: :)_

* * *

Since I've already done the like-each-other-but-are-in-denial I wanted to write the whole like-each-other-and-try-to-admit-it-without-looking-like-a-dink-this-is-a-lot-of-hyphens just because

mathias thomsen= denmark

if i didnt say before

miguel lopez= cuba

spelling mistakes within texts/facebook posts/emails are intentional


	4. Day Three

**Day Three**

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: hey matt wanna do me a favour :)_

_From: Matt  
__Message: ok..._

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Wanna pick me up from the airport :)_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **In Germany with Arthur Kirkland and Francis Bonnefoy :)

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Francis Bonnefoy **likes this.

**Matthew Williams** dislike  
3 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** dislike  
3 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Arthur Kirkland** dislike  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry** OMG pictures!  
2 minutes ago · Like

* * *

"I'm terribly sorry about this." Arthur mumbled from the passenger seat at the front

Ludwig brushes off the apology. "I am used to my brother's friends constantly coming over without any warning."

"Oh, I wasn't really talking about Francis." Arthur said, craning his head to look back at Alfred. "Alfred, stop that! You're hurting the poor boy!"

Alfred looked up innocently in the middle of the noogie he was giving Matthew.

"But he called me a hamburger eating bitch!" Alfred whined, still holding Matthew's head in a choke hold.

Arthur sighed and turned his head back to the front. "You _are _a hamburger eating bitch."

"And you're a tea-sipping bastard. _Mom._"

At around late-afternoon, Matthew had received a text message from Alfred, saying that Alfred was in Germany. He had stared at the message for a good five minutes, wondering if his brother had been joking or not. A quick call to Alfred had confirmed that yes, his brother had taken a flight to Germany, and was currently waiting at the airport to be picked up.

Matthew had considered just leaving his brother there to fend for himself. After all, that's what Alfred deserved for coming to meddle in his vacation. But Matthew, who loved Alfred underneath all that stupidity, swallowed his anger and asked Ludwig politely, if rather red-faced, if he didn't mind an extra guest, because Alfred had shown up un-expectedly. Ludwig, having Gilbert as a brother and Feliciano as a lover, was used to having excess/unnecessary guests in his house, and agreed to let Alfred stay for a little while. Gilbert was too busy sulking about Alfred coming, and potentially being a cock-blocker, so it was just Matthew and Ludwig that had gone to pick him up.

Which was good, because Ludwig's car seated five, including the driver. After they had reached the airport, they realized that it wasn't only Alfred that was waiting for them. Alfred had somehow managed to drag Arthur with him, and Francis had tagged along because he was Francis and he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to.

Matthew had gotten even more embarrassed when he saw the three of them, Alfred and Francis positively beaming, while Arthur muttered death threats under his breath at a rapid pace.

Ludwig, bless him, said it was alright if the other two stayed over as well. Alfred and Francis had insisted on dragging Matthew into the backseat so that they could assault him. With questions, of course. And physically as well, because Matthew was currently trying to release himself from Alfred's grip, while Francis tried to "help" by copping a feel here and there.

"Aww, Mattie, are you _still_ pissed at me?"

"Fuck off, Alfred."

"_Cher, _your language."

Listening to Francis, Matthew continued to berate Alfred, this time in French.

* * *

_From: Francis  
Message: So I heard you need help?_

_From: Gil  
Message: with what_

_From: Francis  
Message: with that cute blond you're currently watching cook dinner with your brother and feli_

_From: Gil  
Message: i'm not watching! i'm cooking too!  
From: Francis  
Message: Cher, I just walked in and saw you on the counter flinging meatballs at Mathieu. now, i ask again, do you need help?_

_From: Gil  
Message: nah i'm too awesome for help_

_From: Francis  
Message: I'm sure _

_From: Gil  
Message: i'm not lying. nd i think he likes me back. well no shit cus im awesome. but ya_

_From: Francis  
Message: ouu, really?_

_From: Gil  
Message: yeeep. and i'm actually getting somewhere with him...I think_

_From: Francis  
Message: honhonhon_

_From Gil  
Message: ...the fuck?_

* * *

"Dinner's ready!" Matthew called, as he walked into the living room balancing multiple plates. He set them down, one in front of each person at the large dining table.

Ludwig sat at the head of the table, with Feliciano on his right and Gilbert on his left. Matthew had intended to sit beside Gilbert, but Alfred switched their plates so that he was sitting in between the two. Arthur, on the other hand, had to sit between Francis and Feliciano, so that the Italian would be safe from wandering hands. Unfortunately, Arthur wasn't.

"Bloody hell!" Arthur jerked his knee up, hitting the table as Francis retracted his hand.

"I needed you to pass the potatoes," Francis laughed, dodging as Arthur tried to subtly stab him with a fork. "You were so busy talking to Ludwig that I needed to get your attention!"

Matthew, on the other hand, was trying to talk with Gilbert while Alfred kept interrupting in the middle, even though he was holding his own conversation with Feliciano.

"So, Matt, I was thinking that tomorrow we should-"

"Hey Mattie, let's have a barbeque tomorrow! I could cook the good ol' USA way!"

"Ve, that'd be so good~"

"Sorry Gil, what were you saying?"

"I was _saying-_"

"And then Feli can make us a boat load of pasta? How about that Feli, I'll even give you a real boat to fill it up!"

"Hahahaha, of course Alfred! Then big brother France can bring some of his wine, I'm sick of drinking German beer all the time~"

"Matt, does your brother never shut u-"

"We can even make wurst? What do you say, Gilbert, Mattie told me you're good at cooking _something_. It'd be so awesome!"

Matthew and Gilbert's eyebrows both twitched simultaneously. Matthew was slowly getting irritated, and was close to stabbing Alfred in the face with a fork. Not so subtly. Gilbert beat him to the physical harm, flinging a small potato at Alfred.

"Could you shut _up_?" Gilbert asked, glaring at Alfred. "I'm trying to talk to your brother!"

"Gilbert!" Ludwig scolded. "That's not how you treat a gue-"

But he was cut shot, because Alfred took a shot at Gilbert. Having had some strong beer, Alfred's aim wasn't all too great. The piece of sausage ended up hitting Ludwig on the nose.

"Oh shit!"

* * *

******Matthew Williams **posted a video via Mobile Web

59 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **11 people **like this

**Lars V. **why wasn't i there?**  
**54 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you should totally come over too even though we don't have space. you can share with alfred**  
**53 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **yess**  
**53 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **best food fight ever, ve~**  
**50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **the dining room got so messy...**  
**49 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **your fault for not managing to hit francis with the mashed potatoes**  
**48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **I'm too smooth for all of you :)**  
**45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **which is why matt managed to stuff a wurst down your shirt right**  
**43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **No, that was me. Matthew was the one who stuffed the cake**  
**42 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **atta boy artie!**  
**41 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that!**  
**39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **how many times do i have to tell you i don't care :)**  
**38 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **LOL is tht ice cream on gil's face? looks like jiiiizzzzzz**  
**37 minutes ago · Like · **1 person **likes this.

**Arthur Kirkland **Peter, go away. You're too young.**  
**36 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **fuck off :)**  
**35 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **peter, have you been spending time with lovino?**  
**33 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lovino Vargas **go die**  
**30 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **my favourite part is where Alfred faceplants into the bowl of soup :)**  
**30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **go die**  
**29 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **omg lovi! same comment! twinsies!**  
**29 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lovino Vargas **ew**  
**28 minutes ago · Like

**Peter Kirkland **berwald paid lovi to baby sit me! though i'm too old for babysitting because i'm such a badass! even lovi said so!**  
**27 minutes ago · Like

**Antonio F.C. **if only lovi was quick to compliment me like that~**  
**26 minutes ago · Like

**Lovino Vargas **I SAID NO SUCH THING**  
**25 minutes ago · Like

**Antonio F.C. **so cute when you're in denial ~ is it me or are Matthew's pants sort of sliding off?**  
**24 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **wat**  
**23 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **wat**  
**23 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **OH LOL I SEE IT **  
**21 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **LOL I CAN SEE PART OF MATTS ASSSSS**  
**21 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL**  
**21 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **I BET THIS WAS WHEN FRANCIS GOT THE PHONE**  
**20 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **as if I'd take something so vulgar!**  
**18 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Arthur Kirkland **well I can't think of anyone else who that "honhonhon" would belong to**  
**17 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **oh shit i need to take this down**  
**15 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **if you do that i will come get you in your sleep**  
**14 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry** and you'll film it for me, right gil?  
12 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **ohohohoho ;)**  
**11 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **why does this bad behaviour not surprise me, beilschmidt**  
**9 minutes ago· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **why does your bad face not surprise me, edelstein**  
**8 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **why does that bad come back not surprise me, beilschmidt**  
**6 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones ...**wowwww i bet this is the most comments matt's ever gotten**  
**5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Kumajirou Williams **who?  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **KUMA?**  
**1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **KUMA?**  
**1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **WOAH MATT YOUR FUCKING BEAR**  
**1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Francis  
Message: You should really be thanking us now :)_

_From: Gil  
Message: ? _

_From: Francis  
Message: If we weren't overcrowding the rooms in your house, you wouldn't be sharing a bed with Mathieu right now ;)_

* * *

Gilbert flopped down on to the bed.

Life was _good._

Because right now, in the washroom attached to his room, was his hot blond friend, who he'd be sharing a bed with. And he honestly couldn't ask for more.

_This is fucking awesome, _Gilbert thought, as he planned out what he would do as soon as Matthew got out of the shower. It was pretty simple actually. A seductive move here, a small admission that he liked him there, and then a suggestion that since they were both kick-ass people, they should totally get together. Then a kiss. A really, _really _hot kiss that would put even Francis to shame.

And of course, since they were already sharing a bed, they'd just jump to the next step since it would be so convenient. Even the lighting was set. The room lights were off, but the soothing yellow bedside lamps were on.

_I'm going to get laaaaiiiid~_

Thinking that was not awesome enough, so Gilbert decided to hum it under his breath instead.

"Hm?" Matthew asked, as he stepped out of the washroom.

"Oh, nothing." Gilbert replied, flipping over and propping his head on the pillows and grinning. "Nice outfit."

Matthew was wearing a black shirt that he had stolen from Alfred a long time ago, one that had a big green alien on it. He was pretty sure it glowed in the dark, as did the green beavers on his neon pink boxers. Matthew slightly chuckled in response, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge. He set his glasses down onto the bedside table, and swung his legs over onto the bed.

"I'm sorry about today." Matthew said. "I didn't know they were coming over...I honestly don't even want to know _why _they came over."

"Don't worry about it Francis and Arthur are okay. I don't know about your brother, but as long as he manages to contain his stupidity, it'll be good." Gilbert replied, as he pulled a blanket over them. Then, with a wink, he added "And you get to share a bed with the awesomeness."

Matthew laughed, and rolled his eyes. "Of course. Totally makes my vacation a million times better."

Gilbert scooted closer to Matthew and wriggled his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't it?"

Matthew grinned again, but he had started to go slightly pink, and Gilbert smirked.

_Seductive move here..._

"Hey by the way, Matt, I want to talk to you about something..."

"Yeah?"

_An admission there..._

"MATTHEW!"

_And an American who's going to be dead meat in the morning._

The door flung open, as Alfred barreled into the room. Gilbert flinched as the distance between him and Matthew suddenly grew larger. And got filled with one loud and obnoxious person, who decided to latch onto Matthew.

"Al-Alfred!" Matthew sputtered, trying to shove his brother off of him. "What are you-"

"I need to sleep with you guys tonight." Alfred said, not letting go.

"Why?" Matthew wheezed, as he tried to breathe.

"I was on my phone, and then Kiku sent me this freaky-ass video...and now I can't go to sleep!" Alfred made sure he sounded like he was wailing, to add to the effect.

"Why can't you just sleep with Arthur or Francis?" Gilbert's voice was irritated, much like the person it belonged to.

"Arthur won't let me! And Francis will let me, but I actually want to _sleep _tonight!" Alfred continued to whine. Gilbert, extremely peeved, made to shove Alfred off both Matthew and the bed, but he only succeeded in getting him off of Matthew.

"Fine." Matthew gasped, trying to regain normal air circulation. "But only tonight, and don't you dare roll on any of us!"

"Alright!" Alfred beamed.

"And you better not drool on any one either!"

That brought a grimace from Gilbert, who did not want _Alfred's _spit all over him. He wouldn't have minded Matthew's, but his friend's annoying brother just had to come and be a huge cock block. Matthew rolled on to his side, and took his phone from his bedside drawer. Gilbert noticed it, and he did the same, hiding the phone under the blankets.

"Hey! What about me?" Alfred whined again, and Matthew shot him a dirty look over his shoulder.

"Go to bed, stupid."

* * *

_From: Matt  
Message: i'm sorry about my brother_

_From: Gil  
Message: it's ok_

_From: Matt  
Message: k. so what were you gonna say?_

_From: Gil  
__Message: forget about it. tell u later_

_From: Matt  
Message: oh okay. _

_From: Gil  
Message: k. night matt_

_From: Matt  
Message: No goodnight hug? :p_

_From: Gil  
Message: fatass is in the way _

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: omg gil ur such a bitch :(_

_From: Gil  
Message: Stop reading over my shoulder! _

* * *

At two in the morning, Gilbert found something tapping at his forehead persistently. Opening his eyes slightly, he saw the outline of Alfred, who was poking him. Giving a look of great disdain. even though it probably wouldn't be seen very well in the dark, Gilbert made a move to roll over and face away from Alfred.

Alfred caught the movement, and would have none of that. He clamped two fingers around Gilbert's nose, and Gilbert all but squawked.

"Listen here." Alfred said, sounding determined, as Gilbert glared at him. "I know what you're trying to do."

Gilbert blinked. "Trying to do what?"

"Matthew." Alfred replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Gilbert rolls his eyes and starts to wrench Alfred's hand away from his nose

"So?" Gilbert managed to get Alfred off him, and rubbed his nose, feeling a sneeze coming on.

"So, I'm warning you. Any funny moves, and I'll be on your ass like Arthur on tea."

Gilbert grimaced at an unwanted image that quickly flitted through his brain.

"No thanks." He said, turning over in his bed. "And I'm sure Matthew can take care of himself."

And then he nearly jumped right out of the bed when he felt the hot breath near his ear.

"My brother," Alfred hissed. "_likes _you. So he's more gullible when it comes to you."

Gilbert's eyes widened. He figured that Matthew liked him (after all, he was just that awesome), but hearing it from Alfred was...different. He'd have rather heard it from Matthew himself though.

"Don't get me wrong, I think Matthew needs to get laid. But by _you_?" Alfred continued. "Don't think I don't have my eye on you. One step out of line, and I'll make you eat nothing but Arthur's food for the rest of your life."

Gilbert gulped, sort of surprised at how serious Alfred sounded. Even though they seemed like unassuming (and slightly stupid, in Alfred's case), the North American brothers (including Mexico) were formidable when they needed to be.

Then, a long ten seconds later, Alfred chirped "I'm glad we had this talk. Goodnight!" and promptly fell asleep.

Gilbert, on the other hand, only managed to go into a light sleep-like state, afraid that Alfred might try to pull something while he slept.

* * *

Kuma got facebook ? What?

I've seen those neon pink boxers before, at some novelty shop. They were the bomb

Reviews, like always, are appreciated. Because the ones you guys leave are really really awesome and bring a smile to my face~


	5. Day Four

**AN:**

y

Facebook removed the "Wall to Wall" button and replaced it with "See friendship"

I'm keeping it to the wall-to-wall because seriously..."see friendship"? like no, fuck you and fuck our friendship

* * *

**Day Four**

* * *

"He left." Gilbert sobbed dramatically into Matthew's shoulder.

It was morning, Francis and Alfred were still asleep, and Arthur was in the dining room setting the table. Why he still bothered to do that was beyond anyone, but they let him do it anyways since he was not too happy about being dragged along on this trip anyways.

Matthew had woken up a bit early, to help Ludwig cook, and was busy frying bacon when Gilbert had hurled into the room in a slight state of panic. After a couple of minutes of trying to calm him down, Ludwig and Matthew gave up and turned their attention back to breakfast. That was when Gilbert decided to latch on to Matthew and _finally _tell him what was wrong.

"There, there, I'm sure it'll be okay." Matthew said, patting Gilbert's back reassuringly, trying not to burst out laughing. Ludwig just ignored Gilbert, and continued to make the breakfast omelette.

"B-But he never leaves! Never without warning!"

"What kind of warnings could _Gilbird _give?"

"A ton." Gilbert said, his voice muffled since he had buried his face in Matthew's shoulder in _not really there _hysteria. "He usually waits till I'm awake before leaving!"

"Gilbert..." Matthew got a muted grunt in response, and couldn't help it. His body started shaking slightly, as laughter started to bubble within him.

"Wh-Don't laugh, bitch!" Gilbert pulled back, glaring at Matthew. Both of them had their arms around each other's shoulders, since they were of equal height. Matthew just gave an odd grimace back, because it _would _be rather rude if he straight up laughed in the face of his host.

"Not cool." Gilbert huffed, and Matthew started sniggering. "Don't make me shut you up."

"Hahaha- how?"

Before Gilbert could complete the thought (or action, since it was going to be more of a kiss than any words) Francis sauntered into the kitchen, dragging a still-drowsy Alfred with him.

"Ah, good morning!" He said happily, and his smile grew even wider when he saw Matthew and Gilbert together. "Oh, were you-"

"Yooou..." Alfred mumbled, raising a finger at Gilbert. "Whatcha doin' thurr..."

Arthur also walked in at the moment, to get more silverware. He side-stepped Matthew and Gilbert, shooting Alfred, who was hanging off Francis' shoulder, a look of great disdain.

"Alfred, haven't I told you to get proper before coming down?" He scolded, as he shuffled through, looking for the forks. Ludwig pointed towards one of the drawers and Arthur nodded in response.

"Got t'make sure Matt's not being invaded..." Alfred yawned, and Francis tightened his arm around his waist so that he wouldn't fall over. "Right Matt?"

"It's not your business what your brother does, Alfred."

"Never got a chance anyways." Gilbert muttered under his breath. They broke their little...man-holding at an awkward distance, and Matthew coughed slightly. They weren't exactly doing anything in the first place, but they were probably going to and Alfred, even though he was still half-asleep and didn't really have the ability to read the atmosphere in the first place, could have probably figured out.

"Artie...why so lame?"

Arthur sighed at Alfred as he walked back out of the kitchen.

"Breakfast's done." Ludwig announced, and Alfred's face woke up...slightly.

"Hambuurgers..." Alfred said, and Francis rolled his eyes and started to drag the younger one out to the dining room.

"So..." Matthew didn't really know what to say, so just settled for a simple question. "What are we doing today?"

* * *

_earlier on..._

Between **Kumajirou Williams **and **You**

**Kumajirou Williams **July 8th at 03:00

how are things?

**Gilbird Beilschmidt **July 8th at 03:03

soooo boring ever since your owner came over. no one to chill with

Sent via Mobile Web

**Kumajirou Williams **July 8th at 03:13

well door's unlocked if you need

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: y are you sitting beside gilbert? i thought we had the whole eat-off-each-others-plate thing going on_

_From: Matt  
Message: because I want to...?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: no really, why?_

_From: Matt  
Message: because you have rank morning breath_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: cut deep, bro_

_From: Arthur  
Message: Alfred, it's rude to text at the dinner table_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: artie ur a biiiiitch_

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Touring West's vital regions, Matthew Williams, Feliciano Vargas, Arthur Kirkland, Francis Bonnefoy + the...thing.

2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Elizabeta Héderváry **and **Francis Bonnefoy **like this

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **...  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry** yum ;)  
2 hours ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** ruuuude  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** says the one who called me a freak 5 minutes ago  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

* * *

**From: **Lars

**To: **Gilbo the Great

**Subject: **no subject

Yo, can I stop by tommorow? I have an 8 hour stopover in Berlin and I need to kill time, and we haven't hung out in a long time. Plus I bet you still haven't gotten any, and desperately need my help with Matt

So run it by Ludwig, and let me know.

-L.

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Get your hands off my brothaar_

* * *

Gilbert snickered as he read the most recent text from Alfred.

"What happened?" Matthew asked, and Gilbert just shook his head.

They were walking down the streets in the city, the grey clouds cast over them and threatening to rain any moment. Ludwig and Arthur had stopped by a bakery to pick up some things, and Feliciano, Alfred, and Francis tagged along with Matthew and Gilbert. Matthew and Gilbert had gotten the slight feeling that the three (well, probably just Alfred and Francis) were there for pure stalking purposes, mostly because the three were always a few steps directly behind them.

Gilbert chose to not reply to Alfred's text, and instead moved his hand from Matthew's shoulder down his back and slid it into one of Matthew's back pockets. Gilbert could feel Alfred's glare burning into his back, but he was way too awesome to be intimidated. Matthew just hummed absent-mindedly as he continued reading the tiny tour-guide they picked up from a shop.

"What about...this art gallery? Apparently it used to be an old store or something but now it has a real cool exhibition..."

"Your choice." Gilbert shrugged, deciding to keep his hand in Matthew's back pocket, even if the blond wasn't paying any attention. He distinctly heard what sounded like a camera click.

Gilbert had told Matthew that they didn't need to do such a tourist-y thing like pick up a book since Gilbert had been around here a ton and the city was a part of Ludwig anyways, a comment that had earned a furious blush from Ludwig and a couple of honhonhon's from Francis. Also, he took pride in knowing the ins and outs of the city, because only a few decades ago, when the world was PMSing like usual, he wasn't allowed into part of it.

But Matthew had insisted on getting one with a map, just in case he somehow drifted away and got lost. Gilbert had slung his arm around Matthew's shoulders and told him that he didn't have to worry since Gilbert would hold onto him, a line that Gilbert thought would definitely help him earn some points, but Matthew brushed away the offer, saying it was always good to be safe. And, he just wanted toread about the places they could go.

Well, at least he didn't brush away the arm.

* * *

******Francis Bonnefoy **posted a picture via Mobile Web  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · ******Elizabeta Héderváry **and **Lars V. **like this

**********Elizabeta Héderváry** cuuuuuute!  
5 minutes ago · Like

**********Lars V.** atta boy  
5 minutes ago · Like

**Roderich Edelstein **eliza, you really need to stop "liking" all these updates...  
2 minutes ago · Like · **2 people **like this

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: i'm getting booooooooooooooooooooooooored_

_From: Gil  
Message: k?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: is there anything interesting to do here other than walk?_

_From: Gil  
Message: there is_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: then let's do it. i'm sick of watching you walk lovingly with my bro_

* * *

"Matthew!" Alfred called out, and Matthew craned his head around while walking.

"What?"

"Just saying hi."

"Oh, okay."

Matthew turned his attention back to the map, while Gilbert went off about some awesome memory about the bar they just passed by.

"Yo...Matthew!"

"What?"

"Just saying hi."

"Isn't that what you said last time?"

"Can't I say hi to you more than once?"

Matthew rolled his eyes. Of course, his brother had to bother him. His brother always had to bother him, and half the time was just for the sake of bothering him.

But whatever.

Alfred was also probably annoying him because Gilbert had slid his hand into his back pocket (he only _pretended _to not notice) and they were walking closer together than before. And Matthew was fine with that.

"Matthew!"

* * *

_From: Francis  
Message: cher, you look like you and mathieu need some alone time. want me to do something?_

_From: Gil  
Message: PLEASE_

* * *

Matthew and Gilbert had managed to duck into a small shop while Francis distracted Feliciano and Alfred. It wasn't too hard, given how easy it was to distract the two. All Francis really had to do was divert their attention to some colourful store display for a second, and Feliciano said he wanted to check it out. Francis started to drag Alfred and Feliciano towards the store, and it was long enough for Matthew and Gilbert to make their escape.

They found themselves surrounded by rows of shelves and tables with various different kinds of trinkets. It looked rather quaint, complete with the old man at the register reading the news paper. When they walked in, he gave them a small smile and a wave and went back to reading.

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: i love you_

_From: Francis  
Message: you're welcome_

* * *

"I suppose we'll be here for a while, eh..." Matthew murmured, looking out the tinted windows. He could see Francis off in the distance. talking animatedly to Feliciano and Alfred, the latter having a confused expression. They wouldn't be safe from their stalkers till Francis gave them the clear, which probably wasn't going to be for the next few minutes.

"I guess." Gilbert shrugged. "Might as well look around. If you want something, I'll buy it for you. Hey, what the hell are you smiling for?"

"You'll buy something for me? You're sounding like a _real friend_, Gilbert. I feel like we should commemorate this."

"...Bastard."

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: where did you gooo_

_From: Matt  
Message: where did *you* go_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: not telling until yo tell me where u and gil are_

_From: Matt  
Message: Too bad :)_

_From: Alfred  
Message: u better not go to some hotel im not footing the bill for you getting laid_

_From: Matt  
Message: fuck off eh_

* * *

"Hey, this looks like your bird." Matthew said, picking the stuffed bird off the shelf. They had been in the store for a good ten minutes, just looking stacked upon stacks for trinkets and had somehow migrated towards the section aimed for younger kids. Matthew had spotted a bright yellow plushie which happened to look almost like Gilbert's bird.

"..And?"

"Well, maybe you can hold on to it while Gilbird's gone..."

"Are you serious, Matt? Even _thinking _about it makes me feel less awesome."

Plus, if things went well Gilbert wouldn't have just a stuffed animal to hold on to.

"Here, I'll even buy it for you, eh?" Matthew offered, examining the stuffed chick. It even had the same beady (and slightly freaky, but Matthew wouldn't ever tell that to Gilbert) eyes that the real bird had.

"No thanks." Gilbert scoffed. "I'm not a five-year old."

"You act like one half the time." Matthew chuckled.

"I hate you." Gilbert grumbled and Matthew rolled his eyes and looked back at the shelf.

Beside where the chick had laid, there was a tiny stuffed polar bear. "Hey that looks like it's Kumamama!"

Matthew picked that one off the shelf too, and in an airy falsetto, said, "It's like it was meant to be, eh?"

"..." Gilbert gave him a blank stare. A really, really blank look.

"Is there a problem?" Matthew asked in the same voice. "Gilbert?"

"I actually don't think I want to associate you anymore more." Gilbert said, turning on his heel. Matthew faltered for a second, but then he caught the slight smirk on the other's face, and decided to continue.

"Oh, but what will I do if you leave me, eh?" He put the back of his forehead and pretended to look slightly distressed. "All alone, in a big city, all by myself."

"You've been watching too many movies with your brother." Gilbert looked over his shoulder at Matthew, and tried to not laugh at the sight. "You're such a loser."

Matthew gave a gasp of mock offense, and clapped his hands to his mouth.

"The awesome Prussia, not willing to save a damsel in distress?" Matthew didn't know that his voice could go that high, but apparently it could.

Gilbert swiveled around, his face mirroring Matthew's, holding equal mirth in his eyes. He took a step towards the blond who was fighting his own smile.

"Excuse me?" Gilbert replied, his voice deepening as much as Matthew's had risen. "Are you questioning my awesomeness?"

"I don't know," Matthew tilted his head to the side. "Am I?"

"You are, aren't you, you little twerp."

"Gilbert, what happened to the brave man I knew?"

"Oh, you're asking for it now."

Gilbert dived forward, and in one fluid motion, scooped Matthew up into his arms bridal-style. Matthew gave a small gasp of surprise, then started laughing. He laughed so hard that he fell into a fit of coughs.

"Oh, ew, not all over me." Gilbert whined and Matthew gave him a slight punch in the chest. The shop owner cleared his throat from the cash-register, looking warily at the two.

"I think it's safe to leave now." Matthew said, and Gilbert nodded. "What, you're not going to put me down?"

"Never!" Gilbert claimed, lurching towards the shop door. "Not while-Oh fuck!"

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: Hey babyyyy_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: what do you want_

_From: Gil  
Message: The awesome me needs to get the financial assistance of his favourite little brother_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: ..._

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Ludwig Beilschmidt I love you to the tune of a few thousand euros

2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Antonio F.C** hahahaha, what were you thrown in jail for now?  
1 hour ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** nothing, it wasn't bail this time :)  
1 hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt** I don't even want to talk about it.  
1 hour ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** But I do! Me n Matt totally wrecked some not-awesome shop and the not-awesome owner got not-awesomely angry  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **8 people **like this

**Arthur Kirkland** Stop liking what he says, people, you're only encouraging him  
34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland** When I did that, mama said he's going to kick me in the face so hard my eyebrows will fall off!  
20 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** CHILD ABUUUSE. Christ, tino  
18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Tino Väinämöinen **I'm not his mother! He doesn't even live with me!  
10 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** oh, carry on.  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland** oh, carry on.  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland** FUCK YOU ALL  
4 minutes ago · Like

* * *

"Alfred, get out."

Alfred was currently sprawled across both Gilbert and Matthew on the bed. Gilbert was annoyed, but Matthew moreso because his brother was completely _crushing _him. And he claimed that all the junk food he ate went nowhere.

"But Matt-"

"Alfred." Matthew said, with as much sterness as he could muster up. He had been feeling more tired than usual, and didn't want to put up with Alfred. "I will rip your foot off and kick you off the bed with it. Go share with Francis, I'm sure he wouldn't mind it, eh?"

"You're so cruel. Kicking your own flesh and blood out of bed."

"Screw off."

But Alfred listened anyways, just in case Matthew secretly stashed a spare hockey stick underneath the bed. He creaked off the bed, and Matthew gave a sigh of relief, rolling over and turning off the bedside lamp. He wanted to talk to Gilbert now that Alfred was leaving, but drowsiness was hitting him fast. After all, they'd had a busy day. After Ludwig had bailed them out of the small shop fiasco, they had then headed to the art gallery Matthew had mentioned, followed by a museum and harassing people at a park-well, that was mostly Gilbert and Alfred, who had decided to set aside their differences and teamed up to terrorize a group of tourists.

Ludwig had to yet again, drag his brother and Alfred away before they got into deep shit, and the group headed to a restaurant where they got to eat in the dark. _That _experience went well, especially with Francis who had free reign to grope anyone at the table without them knowing who it really was. Well, everyone generally did assume it was him, but as he had pointed out, they weren't for _sure._

Gilbert had suggested they go out drinking afterwards, but for some reason, Matthew had felt completely wiped out. So Gilbert said he'd take him home, and Ludwig, Feliciano, Arthur, and Alfred could go on without them and that definitely did not sit well with Alfred. Alfred insisted on going home too, because the hyperactive nation who was babbling about space exploration ten seconds ago was suddenly very tired. Francis, knowing what Alfred was up to, said he'd retire for the night too, mostly to keep an eye on Alfred so he didn't do anything stupid. Alfred managed to escape Francis in the house, though, and had dived onto the bed, not caring that it already had two inhabitants.

"I hate you." Alfred grumbled over his shoulder, and Gilbert just smiled smugly. Matthew was already asleep.

Alfred made sure he gave the other man the finger before closing the door loudly behind him.

* * *

**From: **Gilbo the Great

**To: **Lars

**Subject: **RE:no subject

yeah sure. says its "ohkay as lonk as he dusn't haf shmuggled veed"

and I'm not _desperate _thank you

-Sir Awesome

* * *

**From: **Lars

**To: **Gilbo the Great

**Subject: **RE:RE:no subject

but that doesn't mean you haven't gotten any. knowing matt, you two probably share a bed and don't do shit and I honestly feel as bad for Matthew as I do for you because of that

and we're nations, we don't need to smuggle

thanks bro

-L.

* * *

**From: **Gilbo the Great

**To: **Lars

**Subject: **RE:RE:RE:no subject

fuck you

and see you tommorow then

-Sir Awesome

* * *

"Did you tell him you're leaving?"

"No, but he shouldn't get too worried about it. I leave all the time."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

There was a clicking of a mouse, as the window screen popped up onto the computer.

"Hey, look at this."

"Woah! Thirty nine friend requests? _Shit._"

"I'm not lying." Kumajirou shrugged as he continued to reject all the friend requests. "They all seem surprised that I have an online profile. I wonder why?"

"Fuck if I know. That's why I set mine on private." Gilbird chirped from on top of Kumajirou's head. "Hey, don't reject Gilbert! He's too awesome!"

"Fine." Kumajirou sighed as he clicked the 'accept' button.

* * *

according to hetalia wiki or whatever, canada is around the same height as america, who's the same height as prussia sooo

all the people i know who are good at acting like damsels in distress are guys

hungary's ultimate facebook stalker, you know it

Reviews are really appreciated ~ i love reading them all like i love you all


	6. Day Five

**Day Five**

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Lars V. **I heard *someone's* coming ooover :D

15 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Lars V. **to **Alfred Hero Jones **actually, I just landed. Should I get a taxi back or am I getting a ride?

15 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Lars V. **we'll come pick you up

14 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

* * *

"I said turn left, doofus."

"You don't turn left here, dumbass."

"Well according to the map-"

"Fuck the map dude, I've gone there a million times."

"Well fuck you, the map said turn left so we shoulda turned left." Alfred shook his morning soda at Gilbert.

"No...see, we turn left here. There's a sign and everything too, four-eyes."

They both let out a loud irritated sigh in unison as they continued to drive to te airport. Gilbert had volunteered to go pick Lars up and Alfred decided to tag along because it had been a long time since he had seen the man. Because it was a bit early in the morning, everyone else was sleeping, so it was only the two of them. They had been bickering the whole ride there, just for the sake of bickering. It wasn't that they didn't like each other- no, they just felt the other was encroaching their "awesomeness."

By the time Lars was in the backseat of the car with his bunny, Elise, in his lap, the two had fallen into a stony silence, minus Alfred's slurping.

"So...guys...how's it going?"

Neither chose to reply, so Lars just went to the topic he knew would get both the men talking.

"How's Matthew doing?"

"Good." They both replied at the same time, voices curt. They glared at each other for a brief second before looking back to the road.

Lars saw Gilbert looking at him from the rearview mirror, and gave an amused smirk as he stroked the white rabbit's fur.

"So, how far have you gotten with him?"

At that time, Gilbert swerved suddenly, and Alfred choked on his drink. Lars chuckled, as they both sputtered.

"Well you see-"

"Don't you dare answer that, albino-"

"Fuck you blondie, I-"

"No, you-"

"I haven't even gotten anywhere with him, Christ! Stop interrupting me!" Gilbert roared, then immediately clamped his mouth shut. "Shit."

"Dude, he likes you and you like him and you still haven't hit that?" Lars' tone was incredulous . "You haven't even poked it with a stick? You suck."

"Piss off." Gilbert snapped, colour rising in his pale cheeks. "It's because someone here is a big cock-block."

"Excuse you," Alfred retorted. "If you were so awesome, that wouldn't stop you."

"If you didn't jump into the bed, maybe I would have gotten somewhere."

"Like where? You can't even-"

"Says the one who hasn't gotten any in-"

"That's personal information, Beilschmidt-"

"Yeah well go fuck yourself-"

* * *

_From: L. V_  
_Message: are your brother and gilbert always fighting?_

_From: Matt_  
_Message: its either that or they get utterly drunk together. how far are you away?_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: uh, idk. we missed a few turns- oh there, missed one again because they won't stop fighting._

* * *

Much longer than necessary later, the trio had finally arrived back at the house. Everyone was awake and ready to greet the newest visitor to the nearly full house.

"Watch this." Lars muttered under his breath, as Matthew opened the door with a bright smile. Gilbert threw a questioning look as he and Alfred walked in, but Lars didn't follow.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite person." As he pulled Matthew into a warm hug, Lars gave Gilbert a wink over the other's shoulder.

"That's how you do it." He mouthed to Gilbert, and the other rolled his eyes.

"Alright ladies, break it up." He toed the back of Matthew's calf, because his hands were occupied with Elise and her cage. "Bring your stuff in, Lars."

"Here, let me help." Matthew said, but Lars brushed him off.

"Nah, I got it." But Lars had a very smug look on his face, and while they were shifting his two large duffle bags and cage inside, Gilbert hissed, "Remember, you're here to help."

"Oh, I know." Lars replied, as he released Elise from the cage. The rabbit hopped off through the open backdoor and into the garden. "That was me playing up the jealousy factor, babe."

"Is anyone else insanely hungry?" floated in Alfred's voice.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **barbeque with the bitches and bros

25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Matthew Williams **Whose a bro  
23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** Lars is a bro  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** whose a bro  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** Arthur's a bro  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** whose a bro  
18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **feliciano's a bro  
17 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Feliciano Vargas** sweet :D  
17 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** whose a bro  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **francis's a bitch and a bro  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** what about your bro  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** is a bitch  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt** Thank you, Gilbert.  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **alfred's a bitch  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** i resent that  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** i resent you  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** what am i  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** your the co-awesome  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** :D  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland** why aren't you two out helping?  
4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland**Y WANST I INVITED  
4 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** this is a grown-ups party thats why  
3 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland** but i'm grown uppppp  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** no  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland** no  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Tino Väinämöinen **no  
1 minute ago · Like

* * *

It was early afternoon, and the whole house was bustling. The grill in the backyard had been fired up, and everyone was occupied with something. Alfred and Lars had been put in charge of collecting any form of beverage they could find, alcoholic or not. Feliciano was making pasta, like usual, while Arthur was assigned the task of making salad, the one food that everyone was sure he couldn't end up ruining beyond recognition. Ludwig and Francis were cleaning up and setting up chairs in the backyard -well it was more of Ludwig doing work, and Francis making enough lewd comments to turn the stoic blond permanently red- and Gilbert was left in charge of cooking the meat. Because Canadian barbeque's are extremely bitchin', Matthew joined in as well in the cooking endeavour.

And also because Gilbert saw the chance to hit on Matthew, now that Alfred was occupied.

* * *

_From: Francis_  
_Message: it is painful to watch him flirt, non?_

_From: Arthur_  
_Message: you think?_

_From: Francis_  
_Message: maybe you shouldn't have given him those pickup lines from the 60s. i think the aim is to seduce, not to induce laughter_

_From: Arthur_  
_Message: you can't blame me if he's stupid enough to use those again_

* * *

"Here, you're doing it wrong." Gilbert reached over and placed his hand over Matthew's. He was standing right behind him, and had been watching him cook intently for the past five minutes, after the other had finished laughing over the cheesy pickup lines that Gilbert only said as a joke. Yeah.

As much staring was totally not a stalker thing to do, especially when it came down to Matthew, Gilbert had the feeling that the other was getting slightly creeped out, so he decided to do something again. He moved their hands to flip the burger back. "See, you flip it too soon, it'll be really uneven."

Matthew is about to open his mouth and ask exactly how the hell it matters, but he realizes what Gilbert is doing and decides not to speak. Instead, he slightly leaned back into the other and let him move their hands around. He had the slight urge to turn his head because Gilbert's would be right there and it would just be so easy to kiss him, so he decided to act on the urge-

-Or not, because now there was a third person, leaning over Gilbert with his best shit eating grin and asking them what was up.

* * *

_From: Francis_  
_Message: I do believe the three of us, Alfred in particular, have over stayed our welcome. Shall we plan our escape for tommorow?_

_From: Arthur_  
_Message: Please_

* * *

"Gerroff me!" Gilbert said, stepping back and elbowing Alfred off of him. "Christ, we're trying to cook!"

"Aww, I just wanted to see how it was going~"

Gilbert gave Alfred a sour look, while Matthew turned his attention back to the grill, trying to tune their arguing out.

"I swear, Jones, United States of fucking America, you don't leave me alone and I will drop kick you all the way back to your place."

"Well, I didn't come to see some random molesting my brother!"

Yeah, Matthew was trying _real _hard to tune them out.

"I'm not molesting him! I'm just helping him!"

"That's why you're all up on him!"

"What the- "

"Hey, Al," This time it was Matthew who spoke, rather quietly. "Why don't you finish helping Lars with the drinks, eh? It's not nice to leave someone with all the work."

Alfred pouted, and Matthew rolled his eyes at him.

"Fine."

As he sulked and stalked away, Gilbert stuck his tongue out at him behind his back. From inside, Lars had been watching, and shook his head.

* * *

_From: L. V_  
_Message: smooth move_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: thank you_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: k do what I say_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: and what do you say?_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: tell him you'd like to do some canadian history in bed_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: i'd like to what now?_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: it'll work, trust._

_From: Gil_  
_Message: but what does that mean?_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: just do it_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: but what does that meeeean_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: oh god_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: the alfred has escaped and is heading your way_

* * *

"Hey Maattt." Gilbert said, looking at his phone again, then resting his head on the blond's right shoulder as he continued flipping burgers. "What does Canadian History mean?"

"Hmm? Well, that'd be my history, right?" Matthew replied rather absent-mindedly as he poked the meat.

"Really?" Gilbert frowned, turning head slightly to look at Matthew. "Lars was telling me there was a type you did in bed. But I don't get it."

Matthew spluttered, and Gilbert had never seen him go so red so fast.

"Hey, only I was supposed to know that!" Alfred said indignantly, as he walked by again and totally was not eavesdropping. Matthew snapped at him to shut up, and Alfred sulked.

"What? What is it?" Gilbert asked, stepping back.

"I'll tell you later." Matthew mumbled, still facing the grill, ears heated up.

"Apparantly it's something you do. So are you gonna show me?"

Going by what Lars had said, that should've been a smooth line but it only caused Matthew to garble again on how some things were too inappropriate, eh?

"Fine," Gilbert huffed. "I'll go look it up myself."

As Gilbert took out his phone, a coughing and red-faced Matthew excused himself, letting Alfred take over the grill as he went inside to help Arthur with the salad.

* * *

_From: Gil_  
_Message: disgusting_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: your face is disgusting_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: your mind is disgusting_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: your dick is disgusting_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: gtfo_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **oh shit burned food. this is your fault, Matthew Williams

28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Matthew Williams **no  
23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **this is why you get off your phone and pay attention to the food, dumbass  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **son i am disappoint  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like· **3 people **likes this

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: where yo booze at bro  
_

_From: Ludwig  
__Message: I think we're out_

___From: Alpha D.  
Message: ..._

_____From: Alpha D.  
Message: ..._

_From: Ludwig  
__Message: ?_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: are you serious_

_From: Ludwig  
__Message: I think so?_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: OMG_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: WTF_

___From: Alpha D.  
__Message: WHAT KIND OF GERMANS ARE YOU_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **BOOZE HUNT, Lars V. time for some driving adventures

18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Lars V. **and **Gilbert Beilschmidt** like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Holy shit, do my eyes decieve me? Alfred, doing something useful?  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

* * *

******Lars V. **posted a picture via Mobile Web  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **Gilbert Beilschmidt **likes this

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt** are you holding three crates of beer? wow alfreds strength is actually *good*  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Lars V.** ...unfortunately we forgot our wallets.  
6 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt** put it on mine or west's tab  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Alfred Hero Jones** WE GOT LAUGHED OUT OF THE FUCKIN STORE!  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like · **5 people **like this

* * *

Though Alfred had burned some food, it was easily replaced with more, meaning that no one would have to go hungry. The chairs were set up in a circle in the backyard, and everyone had taken their own weird combination of food. Currently, Gilbert was sitting on the grass in front of Matthew, leaning back on his legs as he slurped up his combination of pasta and chopped wurst. Matthew balanced his plate on Gilbert's head as he ate his burger, and Alfred was trying to bother them but Lars kept on diverting his attention while having a conversation with Ludwig at the same time. Feliciano was beside Ludwig, feeding Elise salad as he asked Francis again about his paintings, and Francis kept on saying no while simultaneously eating cake and groping Arthur, who was yelling at Alfred to stop annoying his brother.

For once, the nations managed to have a good time while sober.

* * *

_From: Matt  
Message: Hey Al  
_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: 'sup_

_From: Matt  
Message: Get of fme  
_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Make me_

* * *

A strangled cry could be heard from faraway as someone tackled someone else so that they would just stop bugging them. Following that, loud yells and shouts of encouragement could be heard as two men tussled, one cof claiming that heros never lost to their pansy brothers.

* * *

******Lars V. **posted a video via Mobile Web  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

******Lars V. **tagged Alfred Hero Jones and Matthew Williams in a video  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like · **24 people** like this

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz** hahahaha! alfred you like totally got pwned!  
1 hour ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **Shut up  
1 hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you're such a sore loser  
59 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people** like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **assface  
58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ivan Braginski **maybe alfred needed the lesson in humility, да?  
55 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **dont you use that cryllic keyboard with me, son  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **hahahaha  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **fuck you i'll own you next time  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **bring it, jones  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **don't get too cocky, williams  
34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **now, now, I raised you boys better than that. Alfred, when you lose you lose, and Matthew, don't egg him on  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **stfu mom  
29 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **ah, remember when we did that, Arthur? Good old days~  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **don't encourage them!  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **is this coming from the same person who's yelling "C'mon, Matthew! Make daddy proud!" at 1:23?  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **everyone hates me :(  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **...  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **WHERE'S MY COMFORT CREW?  
58 seconds ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"Are you kidding?" Lars sighed into the phone. "_Fine_, whatever."

He snapped the phone shut, and Gilbert shot him a questioning look. They were currently clearing up the backyard (well, everyone else was, Gilbert was standing there barking useless orders and laughing). Lars had gotten a phone call, one that hadn't left him looking too happy.

"Flight's delayed." Lars explained. "And I can't get a flight until tommorow evening. How crowded does it seriously get here?"

"Lotsa tourists, I suppose." Gilbert shrugged. "Just stay over for the night, dude. There's space there somewhere,"

"Will your brother be okay with that?"

"Do I care?"

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas **good food, good friends, good times :)

38 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **7 people **like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **it's cus I cook the best wurst  
36 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **because no one can handle a sausage like you can  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Francis Bonnefoy **ohonhonhon  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **I dare to think what would have happened if the boy remained your colony  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"You're only doing this because I'm helping you get some." Lars said later on in the night after everyone had cleaned up, as Gilbert helped him carry his bags and rabbit cage upstairs.

"Your point?" Gilbert asked, slightly distracted by the recaptured white fluffball in the cage.

"What happened to being too awesome for advice and help?"

"Please," Gilbert snorted. "Thats only for the battlefield and meetings, where I'm too pro. This is like...normal human shit."

Lars raised an eyebrow at the comment.

"You better not treat Matthew like 'normal human shit'"

"Like I would. He's too legit."

"Poor Matthew." Lars shook his head and sighed. "Of all the people, it had to be you."

"Hey! What are you implying?"

Lars chuckled at Gilbert's offended expression.

"Nothing. Just your lack of finesse in everything. Like when you do something, or talk, or in bed-"

"Shut up." Gilbert snapped. "and I'm awesome in bed so shove it. "

Lars scoffed and Gilbert narrowed his eyes.

"Don't make me go 17th century on your ass." Gilbert grumbled while Lars laughed. They reached the upper floor and Gilbert set down the cage.

"Who do you want to share with?"

"Maybe you and Matt. It's more fun with three." Lars said, giving a rakish smile as Gilbert flipped him off.

"Oh, you're funny. But no, really. Francis has offered to move in with either Alfred or Arthur, so you get to share with the other."

Lars thought for a while, then shrugged. "I'll stay with Alfred."

* * *

_From: Lars V.  
__Message: we're sharing a room_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: :D_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: wait D: that means my brother's going to be at the mercy of the evil!_

* * *

"Maybe you can have an early friendship day." Gilbert said, wriggling his eyebrows as they brought Lars' belongings into the room where Alfred had already spread all his stuff all over.

Lars rolled his eyes in return. "Good one, Beilschmidt."

The man wrinkled his nose at the messiness of the room. Maybe he should have stayed with Arthur, because the man was as much of a neat freak as he was. Then again, waking up to the sight of those monstrous eyebrows first thing in the morning...

"Hey, not my fault you two are gay enough for a friendship day."

"Whatever. At least people will _admit_ they're friends with me."

"You cut me deep."

"I hope it bleeds."

* * *

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: cn i share a bed w. u again cus lars i shere_

_From: Matt_  
_Message: No_

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: Pleeeeeeease_

_From: Matt_  
_Message: Aren't you two friends? no._

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: What if he decides to get high :C_

_From: Matt_  
_Message: Then you're probably going to do it too. No._

* * *

"Ew, I heard some phlegm in that one. " Gilbert said as Matthew coughed for the millionth time. "God, you're getting old."

"Thanks, eh?"

Matthew had slid into bed, and was reading a book when he fell into a fit of coughs. Gilbert came out of the washroom, hearing the racket and was definitely not impressed. If Matthew got sick, that would ruin a lot of things. He was now standing on Matthew's side, as the other sat hunched and coughing.

"Is it something to do with your country?" He asked, concern lacing his voice despite him taunting Matthew about his age catching up to him- because there had been a long time between being Vinland, then being a French/English colony, and now.

"It's not related to my country... it's a human-ish thing." Matthew shook his head. If it was for his country, he would have gotten a warning beforehand from his boss, and the sickness would feel different. He _had _been tired the night before, and throughout the day, did have little coughing fits or a sneeze here or there. Just now, it seemed to be a little bit worse.

"Oh."

Matthew hacked again, and Gilbert winced.

"You definitely need something for that." He said, but Matthew shook his head.

"No I think I'm good. It's nothing." Matthew kept on coughing, and Gilbert frowned.

"You definitely need some medicine...falling sick is definitely not on the list of things to do on vacation." He put a hand on Matthew's forehead, and added "And if you do fall sick, I think I'll probably have to kick your ass."

"That would suck." Matthew chuckled, and Gilbert stood up.

"Where's the medicine kept?" Matthew sat up as well, making a move to get off the bed, but Gilbert put his hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down.

"I'll go get it for you...the good one's stored in the washroom near Francis and I don't want you to run the risk of getting your ears ruined too."

"You're horrible, eh?" But Matthew made no move to get off the bed out of bed as he started to cough again.

* * *

_From: L. V_  
_Message: are you getting laid yet_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: you'd hear it if i were_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: disgusting_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: ;)_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: but no, he's not feeling well he's like coughing and shit_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: when has that stopped you_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: dude._

_From: L. V_  
_Message: ...you in love is hilarious_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: whatever_

* * *

Gilbert lumbered back into the room carrying a bottle of cough syrup and a teaspoon.

"Old school." Matthew commented as he eyed the dusty glass bottle. Gilbert shrugged.

"It works."

He sat down on the side of the bed beside Matthew again, and unscrewed the lid. As he poured the thick green liquid onto the spoon, Matthew still looked very cautious.

"Are...are you sure that will work?"

"Yeah, I've had it before."

"During or before this decade?"

"Funny." Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Now open up."

Matthew complied and Gilbert tipped the spoon into his mouth. The liquid was extremely bitter, and Matthew's eyes nearly teared up when he swallowed it. Atleast his throat felt clear now.

"Thanks." he said, giving a small smile.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." But Gilbert smiled back at him. "Now go to bed. We're gonna do some awesome shit tommorow and you need to be in good condition."

The lights were turned off and Matthew laid back down, Gilbert sliding in beside him. He pulled the blanket up so that it covered both of them up to the shoulders.

"Hey Matt."

"Yeah?"

"I'm serious about kicking your ass if you get sick."

"Sure." Matthew laughed, turning over. If he got sick, he would probably have to kick his own ass too.

* * *

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: lars C:_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: alfred_

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: wanna pass me my glasses C: they're on your bedside table_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: why are you texting me_

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: because i like texting C:_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: ..._

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: thanks C:_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: my lighter's under you pillow_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: thanks_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: dont hog the blanket_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: don't take that tone with me son_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: don't bitch slap me_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: yes, that was a bitch slap, alfred_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: so was that_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: don't make me beat you_

_From: L. V_  
_Message: alfred f. jones, you do that one more time and i will smother you with my pillow_

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: omg i can't believe you did that :( you're almost as bad as failbert_

* * *

It was around three in the morning when Matthew woke up, cold and shivering. He turned over on to his back and tightened his half of the shared blanket around himself as a chill ran through his body and a small headache began to form.

_Why me?_

Matthew realized he had voiced that thought out loud when he heard a reply.

"Y'say summin'?" Gilbert was on his stomach, and turned his head to face Matthew, cracking open a bleary eye.

"J-just a little co-cold." Matthew's teeth clinked as they chattered slightly. When had the air-conditioning got so extreme?

"Nee' nother blanket?" Gilbert asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Ye-yeah, where a-are they?"

Gilbert grunted something illegible, raising his arm and waving his hand in a vague direction. He dropped the arm down onto Matthew's torso and gave another grunt, leaving Matthew slightly confused.

"Er, I didn't really catch that..."

"I said, 'ma be yer blanket."

Matthew blinked.

_Oookay then._

"Not enough left in house. Guests taken 'em all." Gilbert explained, still a bit incoherent.

"Oh."

Gilbert closed his eye and the grip around Matthew got a bit firmer. It was nice and all...but he was still cold.

"Are you su-sure there aren't enough bl-blankets?" Matthew asked as a shiver ran through him again.

"Not warm 'nough?"

"N-not r-really..."

"Mmkay."

Gilbert hooked a leg around one of Matthew's and placed a hand on Matthew's shoulder. Matthew felt the bed creak underneath him, and before he could actually comprehend what he was doing, Gilbert had pulled himself on to Matthew. Matthew found himself under a crushing weight, as Gilbert splayed out across him on a slight angle. Gilbert moved his head so it was right beside Matthew's, and the other could feel silver hair tickle his cheek gently.

"Maple..." Matthew wheezed. "Gil..."

"Now yer warm. G'night."

They laid in silence for a few moments, Matthew trying to regain his breathing. Well, he was definitely warmer now. And completely flattened. He raised his arm, causing Gilbert's to flop, catching the other's attention.

"Hmm?"

"Um...is it possible that I could get at least a bit more comfortable?" Matthew asked quietly, immediately hoping that Gilbert didn't hear it. "I'm kinda...uh..."

But he did, and through what moonlight coming in, Matthew could see the silhouette of Gilbert's head rise up and look at him. Matthew wished he could see the other's expression, so he could tell if he slightly offended him or not.

_"Really?" _Gilbert groaned, his voice sounding slightly more awake.

"If it's not a problem..." Matthew gulped. He heard a sigh, and felt all the pressure and warmth suddenly disappear. Well...that wasn't really pleasant. And he could feel the cool air conditioning flow over his skin, setting off more shivers. He pulled the blanket over his shoulders, and as he did, he felt an arm snake around his waist.

"C'mere." Gilbert mumbled, giving a tired tug. "Hurry up, I wanna go back to sleep."

Matthew said and did nothing for a moment, an Gilbert gave another sleepy but slightly irritated pull.

"Dude, move." He grumbled.

Matthew scooted sideways slowly.

"Turn over."

Matthew turned over onto his side and Gilbert sighed again.

"Other way, Matt."

Matthew, slightly embarrassed, obeyed and rolled over so he was facing away from Gilbert. The arm was back around him, and closed the already short distance between the two. A leg was slung over Matthew's, and because Matthew was a bit lower on the bed than he was, Gilbert was able to rest his head on top of the his.

"Better?"

Matthew nodded, then remembered that Gilbert couldn't see that, so instead answered in the affirmative.

"Good. Can we sleep now?"

"Okay." Matthew paused for a second, as the brief realization that they were spooning passed, then said, "And thanks, Gilbert."

"Yeah whatever. Now shu'up and go to sleep."

Even through the warmth, a slight cold shiver ran through Matthew again causing him to shudder, and he felt the grip around him tighten. He closed his eyes, and tried to drift back to sleep despite the headache and trying to will away whatever sickness was coming upon him.

As he started to doze off, he heard a mumbled "Get better," and felt Gilbert move his head to place a light kiss on his shoulder.

* * *

**From: **Kuma W.

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **FW: Online Payment Confirmation

This is a digital receipt. Do not reply to sender.

The following is your order information for order A657T69 placed on JULY 9TH at 8:23 P.M (EST)

Please click **here** for the full receipt.

**ORDER ID: **A657T69**  
**

**CARDHOLDER NAME: **MATTHEW WILLIAMS**  
**

**ITEM:** UNCLE ROBERT'S TOP NOTCH SUN DRIED FISH, 50 POUND

**QTY: **5**  
**

**COST: **$288.55 CDN**  
**

**ITEM: **SHANTE'S EXOTIC GOURMET BIRD FEED, 50 POUND**  
**

**QTY: **4**  
**

**COST: **$382.20 CDN**  
**

**ITEM: **MATING HABITS: A COMPLETE GUIDE TO MIXING BREEDS AND SPECIES**  
**

**QTY: **1**  
**

**COST: **$28.71 CDN**  
**

**SHIPMENT TYPE: **FAST-TRACK 24HR DELIVERY**  
**

**SHIPPING COST: **$150.00 CDN

**TOTAL: **$849.46 CDN**  
**

**TAX: **$127.42 CDN**  
**

**TOTAL + TAX: **$976.88 CDN**  
**

If there are any discrepancies in your receipt/order, please contact us at 1-800-xxx-xxxx, or email us at productpurchase

-International Pet Supply Inc., Gourmet and High-class Division

Toronto, Ontario

Canada

* * *

there is an ameridutch friendship day. I read somewhere that possible considerations for Net's name is Tim, Govelt, Abel and Mogens. They're not bad...but I still like Lars the best ;_;

idk how to make receipts so i just used a really old one from my inbox and tweaked it. nor do i know how much food for animals cost

Reviews are reaaally appreciated ~


	7. Day Six

**AN:**

To randomnon: no I don't have a LJ. I used to but my brain's not big enough to figure out how the hell it works. I might get one for putting up "photos" from this story and other fanart and crap though so if I do I'll let you know or something.

I'm sorry if there are some like weird things in here. I don't know how to take care of sick people (cept for giving them oranges)

* * *

**Day Six**

* * *

If there was one thing every nation hated, it was getting sick. Whether it was something actually related to their country, or just some common ailment, it sucked either way. While they never got anything major, nations were always susceptible to small things like colds and flus.

Matthew reflected on that as he woke up, body weak and aching. The only good side to the situation was that Gilbert still had a good grip around him, and had not managed to crush him in his sleep like he had a habit of doing whenever they shared a bed.

According to the alarm clock on his bedside table, it was 7:30, meaning he had gotten only four hours of sleep. He was pretty darn sure that something was very wrong with him; fortunately it wasn't country related or his boss/government/collective parental body would have been calling on him all night long.

He made a move to slip out of the other's hold, and groaned as he turned over on his back. He needed some water...and maybe a pill. Or two. Or, as the headache hammering away indicated, a good ten or twenty. He turned his head to the side, wondering if he should wake Gilbert up and ask him where he kept the medicine. He decided not to, and settled on just getting a drink of water instead. Ludwig was usually awake at around this time eating an early breakfast, and he could just ask him when he went down.

He sat up on the side of the bed, rubbing his head, then heaved himself off. As he trudged downstairs, a steady stream of curses flew through his brain, and he settled on blaming Alfred for his problems.

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: omg guess what I found in my bag_

_From: Francis  
Message: what?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: come to my room and see :D_

* * *

A few minutes later, Gilbert, waking up minus a significant amount of warmth, heard the running of the tap and went downstairs to the kitchen. The house was surprisingly quiet; even his brother was not around anywhere. Then again he was probably out for a run or something.

He yawned and scratched his head as he reached the kitchen, and saw Matthew leaning over the sink with a glass in his hand, looking like he was ready to throw up.

"Matt?" he asked, voice still hoarse from sleep. Matthew turned around to give him a weak smile.

"Hey...you okay man?" Gilbert asked, and Matthew shook his head. Gilbert stepped towards the blond and raised his hand up to his forehead. The skin was extremely warm to the touch.

"To be honest, I feel like shit." Matthew said quietly and Gilbert flicked Matthew's forehead harshly.

"Ow, Gil! What are-"

"That's _so_ not awesome! You're not supposed to fall sick on fucking vacation!"

Matthew pushed Gilbert's hand and rubbed his forehead.

"That wasn't very nice, eh?" he grumbled.

"Neither is falling sick on vacation." Gilbert pointed and Matthew rolled his eyes, turning back to the sink. "How did it happen?"

"I don't know." Matthew replied, as he filled his glass with cool water again. "But thankfully it's not anything to with Canada...well...uh, not my country. Or it's not me, it's _me_."

"Human sickness?"

"Yeah."

Gilbert gave a loud sigh. "Stupid. How the hell could you catch something?"

Matthew chose not to answer, because he too had no idea. He had been fine a few days ago...

"Getting sick is such a bitch move." Gilbert clucked, shuffling towards Matthew and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. The other shot him a questioning look, and Gilbert replied with a, "Hey, we slept together last night."

Matthew shrugged; he did have a point and Matthew, having been around Alfred for too long was beyond basic childish innuendo.

"You know, I think I know what happened." Gilbert mused, as Matthew drank the water. "I saw Alfred using your toothbrush on the first morning here. And that guy does some major hacking into the sink during the morning."

Matthew choked, sputtered, and Gilbert moved his head before any water could spray on his face. After he was sure he wouldn't get anything disgusting on him, his head resumed its place back on Matthew's shoulder.

"And you didn't tell me why?" Matthew asked, his voice sounding slightly strained.

"I thought it was a 'it's cool because we're brothers' kind of thing." Gilbert shrugged nonchalantly. "I do it with West all the time."

"Does he know?"

"Of course he knows. Every day that he's actually got a hint of awesome, he knows."

"..."

"Are you doubting me?"

Matthew gave Gilbert an incredulous look before slowly shaking his head.

"You _are _amazing."

"That better not have been sarcastic."

"Of course not."

Gilbert moved his head sharply, giving Matthew a sideways head-butt. Matthew scowled and pushed Gilbert's head off his shoulder, causing the him to let go of Matthew.

"Where's the medicine?" He asked, not allowing the other to pull his hand from his face before he was sure that Gilbert would answer.

"Jerk." Gilbert replied, swatting the hand away. He stuck out his tongue and Matthew rolled his eyes, a slight smile on his face.

"Left, and down the hall upstairs. It's in the washroom across from where Francis is staying...or was staying...or at least where he said he was staying last night."

"Alright, thanks."

"And after you're done, come back to bed." Gilbert said, ruffling the blond's hair as they walked out. "Maybe you'll be good by the afternoon and we can do awesome things after all."

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: heeeey artie, matt and gil have left. wanna put your super cool british spy techniques to use :)  
_

_From: Arthur  
Message: no_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: k cool, i'm glad you'll do it :D_

* * *

Matthew closed the glass medicine cabinet as quietly possible, regretting the non-existence of brain bleach. That particular medicine cabinet happened to be across the hall from Francis' room, which happened to be occupied with more than just Francis.

"Oh, Alfred, I have _truly_ underestimated you..." an airy French voice floated through the thin walls.

"I know, frenchie. You'll be even _more_ amazed at what else I have!" came an enthusiastc reply, quickly hushed by a third voice.

"_Not so loud!_" Matthew heard Lars hiss. "You don't want _everyone_ to know what we're up to, right?"

Matthew_ tried_ to think the best, that it wasn't what it sounded like, and tried to have a more decent train of thought, tried very hard. That didn't prevent him from tiptoing back down the hall with his fingers in his ear, humming to himself.

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: are they set up yet?  
_

_From: Arthur  
Message: I hate you  
_

_From: Alpha D.  
Mess__age: but are they set up yet?_

* * *

"Well, you know, if you didn't get sick..."

Matthew's face fell into a frown. He had come back to their room and slid into bed, coughing slightly. Even after a show of being tired, Gilbert just wouldn't _shut up _about how Matthew shouldn't be sick because it put a hamper on so many awesome things and how Matthew was not on a almost-Gilbert level of awesome anymore and falling sick was _suc_h a bitch move. Matthew, for the most part, just wanted to (suffocate Gilbert with a pillow and) go back to sleep.

"Stop getting angry. I can't help it, eh?" He huffed and turned over, facing away from Gilbert. "It's not like I wanted to or anything."

"Baby." Gilbert scoffed, and Matthew rolled his eyes and mumbled a "whatever". He stared at the body in front of him for a few seconds, expecting him to roll back over.

"Loser..." he muttered under his breath before mirroring his actions from the night before. He hooked an arm around Matthew, pulling their bodies close and shifting a leg to rest between both of Matthew's. He angled himself so that he could rest his chin on top of Matthew's head again, which wasn't too hard because the other was in the process of curling into a he didn't, Gilbert heaved a sigh. While he was upset that Matthew being sick kind of ruined things, he also pitied the man.

"I'm not angry, you're just lame." He murmured, laying his hand on Matthew's stomach and preventing the action. He felt Matthew's bunched up sleep t-shirt underneath his hand, and was overcome by the sudden need to just _touch_. "You need some of my awesome."

He let his hand slide under the thin cotton cloth, not letting it stray lower than the hip bone, and started rubbing small circles into the smooth skin. Matthew didn't protest, instead letting out a soft hum at the action.

"Comfort method." Gilbert said, even though he wasn't asked. He felt like he needed to explain, anyways. "Works on the dogs."

And it was true, really. Well, maybe not completely, because he didn't really sleep with his dogs but he did rub their bellies in an affectionate way when they did something awesome.

...It was similar, at least. He needed _some_ kind of explanation, right?

At least Matthew was enjoying it, because though he still felt like utter crap, his body slightly relaxed and he was comfortable. The general fact that it was Gilbert seemed to help.

Earlier on in their friendship, Matthew would have found something like this uncharacteristic of someone like Gilbert, but he later realized that occasionally being uncharacteristic was part of the man's character and it was best to just go along with it.

Didn't mean he liked taking the occasional jab or two.

"You sleep with your dogs like this, eh?"

Gilbert pinched Matthew's stomach hard in protest, causing the other to give a small yelp, and scowled.

"You try to do something nice..." He grumbled, and made to move his hand but Matthew had pulled his arm out from underneath his and rested it on top, trapping him.

"I don't mind it." He said, giving a weak chuckle, then yawned. "It feels nice."

Matthew was too worn down to care if that sounded cheesy, and Gilbert was tired himself. He gave a non-committal grunt and continued to trace shapes with his fingers over Matthew, and Matthew allowed himself to be lulled to sleep, the vibrations of Gilbert's phone going unnoticed by him.

* * *

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: Wtf is that all you guys do_

_From: Gil  
Message: what_

* * *

_From: L. V  
Message: I'm getting sexually frustrated just watching you two  
_

_From: Gil  
Message: you're watching us? what?  
_

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: omg laame. i can't save my bro if the villain's a softy_

_From: Gil  
Message: Where the hell are you creepers_

* * *

_From: Francis  
Message: Ah, I would rather refer to us as voyeurs, does that not sound better?  
_

_From: Gil  
Message: no you're fucking stalkers. where are you?_

* * *

_From: Arthur  
Message: the camera's hidden in the book rack beside your window. Between the 3rd and 4th book from the left.  
_

_From: Gil  
Message: thanks_

* * *

He never really minded any guests, Gilbert thought bitterly as he continued to push the scrambled eggs around in the pan. But when the guests stood there in the kitchen, watching him cook with extreme amusement, he always got second thoughts.

He turned away from the sizzling pan, wiping his hands on the apron, scowling at Lars and Francis.

"Don't take it the wrong way." he warned and two just laughed. "You're just jealous that I can pull of shit like this while looking this sexy."

"I'm sure of it." Francis said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

It was late in the morning, and Gilbert was cooking breakfast. His brother and Feliciano had gone to a meeting earlier on that morning, he didn't feel like cooking for Alfred, and Francis had mentioned something about making breakfast for everyone in the morning last night. Because he was hungry as fuck and he supposed Matthew needed to eat something too, he decided to go downstairs and quickly whip them both up something awesome like toast and eggs and maybe some bacon. Lars and Francis both came down shortly after Gilbert had, and didn't bother hiding their mirth at seeing their friend wear a plain white apron and whistle while cooking. It just seemed so domestic. Gilbert begged to differ; he was bitchin' at cooking and bestowing the greatness that was his food upon another was _not_ domestic.

"Is that your phone?" Lars asked, scooping up the device from the nearby kithen counter. He grimaced slightly at the blob of egg white crusted in the corner and scraped it off with his thumb, then unlocked the phone. Good, he was still logged in.

"What are you doing with my phone?"

"Smile, princess."

Gilbert's middle finger and Lars' hand rose up at the same time, and after Lars ducked out of the kitchen, ignoring requests for "Get the fuck back here with my phone!"

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** posted a picture up via Mobile Web

18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **14 people **like this

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt** Hello, my name is Gilbert Beilschmidt. You may refer to me as the bitch of Matthew Williams  
15 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Mathias Thomsen** whipped  
14 minutes ago · Like · **8 people **like this

**********Lars V.** that's what I said  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt** Hi my name is Gilbert Beilschmidt, I'm completely whipped.  
13 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz **ewwww that's such a bland apron. I totally thought you had better taste gilll  
9 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** you're a total ace  
7 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt** fuck you aaallll  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Gil_  
_Message: the awesome me has made breakfast. You have exactly ten seconds to get down before I use it to choke and kill your perv daddy and the tulip boy_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: and I can't g e you breakfast in bed. Might meet ur bro on the way and he'll vacuum it up_

* * *

Matthew's eyes widened as he got to the next email on his list, and his face started to go slightly green as his fork clinked against his plate.

"Matt? Are you okay?"

Matthew pursed his lips as he continued to read the e-mail. When he was finished, he placed the phone on the table, and without a word, started to bang his head against the wood.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" Gilbert scooted his chair, scraping across the floor as he reached Matthew.

They were sitting at the dining table, eating breakfast when Matthew had decided to check his inbox on his phone There weren't many emails, but there was this one that seemed to get quite the reaction...

Gilbert grabbed a handful of blond hair, preventing Matthew from hitting his head again.

"You can't do that, you're already so sick! Stupid!"

Indeed, Matthew was still coughing and sniffling, and extremely fatigued. All of which had earned Gilbert's looks of great disdain as he shuffled around the house. But for all his show of not liking the fact that Matthew was sick, he _was_ taking good care of him. He had gotten him more medicine when he needed it, cooked him breakfast, and bitched to him about getting sick.

Matthew didn't reply to Gilbert's admonishments. Instead, he slid his phone towards Gilbert. Gilbert picked it up, and started to read the offending e-mail.

"Wooo," he whistled, completely unphased. So far. "Your bear and my bird are some weird creatures. How do they even use the computer?"

"Read the last item."

Gilbert obeyed, and then immediately wished he didn't. Soon, he was the one banging his head against the table.

"I wonder if they are trying to use it on each other," Matthew pondered quietly. "Arent they both males?""

"Shit," Gilbert groaned. "I don't even _want_ to know what's happening."

* * *

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: is that a glorius breakfast i smell from upstairs  
_

_From: Gil_  
_Message: yes, yes it is._

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: dare i ask lol  
_

_From: Gil  
Message: the answer is (unfortunately) yes. __matt made me save some for you. __and be glad I bothered to save you my awesome cooking._

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: ~heart~ maybe I can give u my approval after all ~heart~  
_

_From: Gil  
Message: uh no thanks_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** hittin down town, bitchezzzzzz

1 hour ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Matthew Williams**,** Gilbert Beilschmidt**, and **Francis Bonnefoy** like this

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** OMG WTF PPL R CRAZY

50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Kumajirou Williams **likes this

* * *

"No, I think I should stay, he's my brother-"

"_Cher, _there are so many interesting things to do on vacation in Germany and Arthur, Lars and I will show all of them to you-"

"Shut up, old man! Hey- don't you drag me out the door! Artie, give those car keys back! You're not driving me any-"

"Holy hell, dear boy, do you_ ever_ shut up?"

"Maaatt, save me!"

"I'm sick, Alfred. I need to stay back."

"And be taken care of by the awesome me. So you four go, get lost and have some fun."

"No- unhand me, cretins! Leaving a brother in need is so not heroic!"

"Oh god, just _shut up_ before I choke you with my pipe."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** Matthew Williams,Gilbert Beilschmidt. I hate you 2. I knew there was something fishy when "ohI'msick,ohGil'sgonastaybackandtakecareofme" MY ASSSSS.

50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Matthew Williams **if you didn't notice from the time I sneezed on you and got phlegm on your glasses and you whined until I cleaned them for you this morning, I'm legit sick.  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **but you're going to have so much fun with us ~  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **lighten up  
46 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **but we left my brother with the rapist :(  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and?  
44 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **AND thats NOT HEROIC AT ALL!  
43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **kid lighten up, we went drinking like just last month.  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **so?  
39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **so, stop bitching both online and in the car or I swear i'm going to open the passenger door and toss you out  
36 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people** like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **love you too, lars  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **k fine you know what matt. this calls for payback.  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **i'm shaking  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **best be, bitch  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **kekeke (ATT)

yo matt check what i saved on my phone before i left home

open the files

open it

open it

open it

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE:kekeke

I'm going to pretend I have a normal brother that doesn't send me scans of my own journal

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE:RE:kekeke

that's what you deserve for kicking me out of the house today.  
you know you love me. atleast I didn't send these to your boytoy riiight? only francis and lars have seen them so far (art's driving)

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:kekeke

:|

-Matt

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** currently kicking Matthew William's ass. thats what you get for getting sick

55 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Lovino Vargas **hahaha when was the last time you kicked someone's ass?**  
**54 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and i'll kick yours too **  
**53 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Antonio F.C **that's not nice to do to a guest :(**  
**54 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **what can I say**  
**50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **uncouth**  
**49 minutes ago· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **your mom**  
**45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **Atleast I don't go around inflicting physical harm on guests**  
**40 minutes ago· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **'cus no one visits you in the first place**  
**38 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **we leave you alone and you decide to kick his ass instead? No game.**  
**34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **No game indeed. He's off in the washroom crying because I just got advantage and totally annihilated him**  
**20 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **NOT CRYING. And I could have crushed you, you were just sick so I decided to be nice**  
**18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **that's what it is.**  
**17 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Lars V. **wait what exactly are you guys doing**  
**14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **old school wrestling games. he has a stash of them hidden under his bed beside his bdsm collection**  
**10 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you betrayed me**  
**8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** he doesn't get laid enough to have a collection**  
**4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people** like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** die**  
**2 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **one more round, k?**  
**1 minute ago via Mobile Web· Like

* * *

"I hate you." Gilbert stated, and Matthew just mm'd in response. "Go die."

"Cool." The blond replied, eyes still fixated on his screen, thumbs shifting like lightning.

"I will sieze your vital regions then murder you in your sleep."

"You do that." Came the murmur, and Gilbert turned back to the TV screen with a sour expression. He definitely did not like getting "totally pwned" at his own video games, nor did he like that after he got "totally pwned" (yeah, Matthew spent a lot of time rubbing _that_ in) Matthew decided that he would continue to play, facing the game characters. He was totally glued to the screen, moving only to wipe his nose or cover a cough or sneeze.

No, the fact that attention was not on him was not something Gilbert liked. Especially after he had taken _care_ of the little whelp.

"I claimed your toe nail as New Prussia." Gilbert tried again to no avail. Matthew just nodded. "And then soon it'll take over your body. All of you will be New Prussia."

"Alright."

"Did you not hear me? It'll take over you. You're going to become a big toenail."

Matthew tore his eyes away from the screen for a split second, raising his eyebrows.

"You're disgusting, eh?" He said simple, before turning back to the screen. Gilbert's scowl grew deeper.

* * *

**Lars V.** Second bakery we've been kicked out of. Alfred Hero Jones needs to stop "sampling" the food

58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **4 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **not my fault  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **fatass  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**Lars V.** Third bakery we've been kicked out of. Francis Bonnefoy needs to stop "sampling" the pastry chef

A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Arthur Kirkland **like this

* * *

_From: L. V  
Message: sup  
_

_From: Gil  
Message: Being unawesomely ignored. you?  
_

_From: L. V  
Message: waiting while everyone argues where to go next. pull any smooth moves?_

_From: Gil  
Message: wouldn't be texting if i was ;) no i'm just being ignored because someones TOO BUSY PLAYING VIDEO GAMES _

_From: L. V  
Message: hahahah youre like a distressed gf or something. gimme a sec. will fix it._

* * *

_From: L. V  
Message: Matt  
_

_From: Matt  
Message: hey_

_From: L. V  
Message: what'sup  
_

_From: Matt  
Message: video game. slow response._

_From: L. V  
Message: k. i just wanted to show you something. I'll text an attachment?_

_From: Matt  
Message: k cool._

_From: L. V  
Message: (ATTCHMNT)_

* * *

While waiting for the next opponent to load onto the screen, Matthew checked the message Lars had sent him ten minutes ago. His eyes widened and he pursed his lips, quickly glancing up and around to make sure Gilbert hadn't come back. He had stepped out, saying he'd go to the kitchen or something like that. Matthew didn't really remember, he was too busy destroying his opponents on the screen.

They really had to rub it in, didn't they?

When he got back from vacation, he'd have to have a talk with his boss and see if it would be okay if he could just beat Alfred senseless. And maybe land one or two on Lars, because even though the guy was his best friend, getting scans of his own journal _twice _a day was slightly unnerving. Especially because Alfred had picked out particularly embarrassing journal entries, ones where Matthew babbled on about Gilbert, being excited about going to Germany, about hoping to get somewhere with Gilbert, how Al was bothering him, about that really intense threesome dream with Gilbert and Ludwig, how he was excited that Kumasomething remembered his name...

Yeah, now, reading over the detail of the entries he was sent, Matthew was really wishing that when they were young, Arthur did not insist that he and Alfred write extremely detailed logs of their day, because now, their journals were too detailed and oh god if someone showed them to the public one day they were _so _screwed and-

"Christ, don't tell me you're getting _sicker._" A voice groaned as the owner walked into the living room. Matthew whipped his head around to look at Gilbert, and gave a sheepish smile as he quickly locked his phone. He realized he had been turning red at reading his own writing, and coughed. "Oh wow."

"Uh, no..." Matthew said, with a little nervous laugh, enhanced by the fact that due to his sickness his voice had gone slighty nasal. "You know, just..."

He waved his hand in a vague motion, earning a look from the other as he plonked down on the sofa on which Matthew was sitting cross-legged.

Gilbert, for some reason, had brought a small crate of oranges (or were those tangerines?) with him, and Matthew saw this as an opportunity to distract Gilbert sligtly.

"Why do you have those?" he asked, and Gilbert just grunted in response. Pale fingers picked up a fruit and started peeling away. "Just hungry."

"Oh. Are they good?"

"Wouldn't know." came the clipped reply. "Haven't had any."

Matthew stared at Gilbert for a moment, and Gilbert focused directly ahead on the TV screen. Matthew recognized Gilbert's sulking face.

"What happened?"

Silence. Except for the video game announcer politely asking if Player One could _please_ hurry up and pick up the goddamn controller already. Matthew, always quick at putting one and one together, deduced that Gilbert was going through a whiny baby stage. That would probably be because not only did he defeat Gilbert at the video game, but he had been so engrossed in playing the game afterwards and anything his friend had said or done just barely registered in his mind. Which was definitely not good for the friend who had brought him a blanket to drape around his shoulders and made him a cup of instant noodles which was lying cold and half-eaten on top of the coffee table.

Yeah, Matthew thought as he watched Gilbert flick off orange skin with particular vengeance. That was probably it.

He gently tapped Gilbert on the shoulder and the other turned his head in the slightest.

"Yeah?"

"Can I have some?"

Gilbert looked at the now-peeled orange, then at Matthew. Orange. Matthew.

"No." Yeah, exactly. That's what he got for ignoring him. Even though it was for him that Gilbert got the oranges.

"Please?"

He hated pleading eyes. Well, he never paid attention to them, but Matthew, even though he was a couple of hundreds years old, had one that made anyone want to listen to him. That look even worked on stiff-necks like Arthur. Gilbert would have to work on building his resistance.

"Only because oranges are good when you're sick. Vitamin C and all that shit." he grumbled, giving Matthew the orange he had already peeled. Matthew smiled back at him and he rolled his eyes flippantly. Kid was too sweet for his own good. He hated to admit it but whenever _he_ got in trouble with some lame-o like Rodreich or Ludwig, he tried pulling that face off and failed miserably. Not awesome at all.

"You know," Gilbert pointed out as Matthew reached for another orange. "You're almost like a little kid. Maybe that's why Lars likes you so much."

And that doe-eyed face quicky dropped from cute to scathing.

* * *

**Lars V. **to **Gilbert Beilschmidt **meeting's cancelled, can I stay another night?

15 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Lars V. **mhm

14 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall  
**Alfred Hero Jones **why can he stay and not me  
13 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** because he asked before coming  
12 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** sooo  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **it's the polite thing to do  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Matthew Williams** too bad you don't practise what you preach eh :P  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** lost in the mean streets of Berlin. Arthur Kirkland this is ur fault

15 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **I'm sure it is.  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **It actually is.  
13 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Excuse me?  
11 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **"Don't need directions" "Of course it's the right way" "I swear that's where I parked the goddamn car"  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **2 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **next time you guys drag me out somewhere at least plan  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Just like you did with this trip in general?  
6 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Lars V. **Alright girls, let's get off the internet when we're two feet away from each other and try to find the car, okay?  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

"But I've already mixed the batter..."

"No." Gilbert repeated, tapping Matthew on the head with a spatula. "You're sick. What if you get all germs on the food? What if by some fluke of nature _I _get sick because of that?"

Matthew looked at the pan which was heating up for the pancake batter, then back at Gilbert. Gilbert had whined to him about being hungry enough to eat his own brother, so Matthew had decided to cook pancakes and eggs for lunch. He was in the process of pouring the batter into the pan when Gilbert, for whatever odd reason, came into the room looking slightly disgruntled. He had snatched the utensil out of Matthew's hand, asking him "Why are you cooking?" in a demanding and fussy tone

-and that left Matthew wondering if he wasn't the only one that was sick.

"Are you going to cook then?"

"Hell no," Gilbert scoffed. "Once a day's enough. I'll take you out to a cafe nearby or something."

"I thought I was too sick."

"Your point?"

"Well if I'm not sick enough to go out but too sick to cook..." Matthew trailed off as Gilbert gave him a look that said that he didn't really have a choice, and Matthew shrugged.

"Alright, fine." He replied.

"Good." Gilbert said, giving Matthew a light smack on the cheek with the spatula, earning him a slight scowl from the other. "It's a date, punk."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** omg never travelling with any of you ever again. Arthur Kirkland can "OMGSAILTHE7SEAZ~" but he CANT FIND THE WAY TO THE FUCKING MUSEUM

50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **museum? bakeries? are you guys on a group date or something?  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **maybe  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **it's the same thing we did before!  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **cue eliza  
43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry** eeeeeek :3  
40 minutes ago · Like

**Lars V. **speaking of dates, gilbert...  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **the answer is a yes  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **;)  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **you and lars? BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE CHASING SOMEONE ELSE.  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt -_-**  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: pass the sugar plz  
_

_From: Matt  
Message: i'm right across from you_

_From: Gil  
Message: and_

_From: Matt  
Message: So why are you texting me?_

_From: Gil  
Message: I do not converse with the sickly_

_From: Matt  
Message: :(_

_From: Matt  
Message :'(_

_From: Matt  
Message: D': _

* * *

"Okay,_ fine_, would you please pass the sugar?"

* * *

_From: Matt_  
_Message: :D_

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** posted a picture up via Mobile Web

49 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** was tagged in his own album

49 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** tagged Matthew Williams in a picture

49 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **a cafe? how quaint  
46 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **i hear that mocking tone in your typing  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **you two are so cute~  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people **like this

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **And you make fun of me?  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **picture of me + friend at cafe= awesome . you= not so much  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **i have truly underestimated you, my friend :)  
15 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **aren't you supposed to be out or something. why are you lars and the others always online?  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **BECAUSE WERE SO FUCKIN BORED OMG THEY LET ARTHUR PICK WHAT WE GOT TO DO UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"Hey..."

Matthew felt an arm snake around his shoulders and catch him as they continued walking down the street back to the house. They had had a delicious, even if a little unusually quiet, lunch, and Matthew felt like he was going to fall asleep in the middle of the pavement, and was literally dozing off while walking.

"I'm not carrying you home." Gilbert grumbled, holding Matthew closer so the man could walk properly. But, Matthew thought as they continued to go down the pavement, he was pretty sure Gilbert _would _carry him.

Ooor leave him on the side of the road, take a bunch of pictures, show it to everyone, and laugh.

Just like last time.

He walked a little straighter.

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** FINALLY HEADING BACK. Fuck going to a bar or whatever, I'm not hanging out with these directionally challenged losers any more

35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **hypocrite  
33 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **back to america?  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **no, stupid, back to your place  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **dislike  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Black ops mission. Matthew Williams think you can handle it?

58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Ivan Braginski **:(  
58 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **oh get over it  
57 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Matthew Williams **It's on, Gilbert Beilschmidt

55 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **I'll show you how the big boys do it, Matthew Williams

54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Matthew Williams** Less talk, more action, Gilbert Beilschmidt

53 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Lars V. **Reconsider things when your foreplay includes videogames and the internet  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **5 people **like this

**Francis Bonnefoy **Better than none at all :/  
46 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **you guys are so dirty DX  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: dude open the door_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: I know you're in there_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: OMG U GUYS BETTER NOT BE DOING THE NASTY_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: OMGGGG_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: I'M BREAKING DOWN THE DOOR _

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **only Alfred Hero Jones is stupid enough to BREAK DOWN THE DOOR when no one replies to his texts for TWO WHOLE MINUTES and interrupts a PERFECTLY AWESOME COD run.

2 hours ago ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **12 people **like this

* * *

**Lars V.** Proper hosts provide dinner, entertainment. Talk to the guests. Gilbert Beilschmidt spends hours playing video games and says "Eh get something from the fridge, West prolly left something in there." and flips you off when you interrupt his kill streak. Proper host indeed.

5 minutes ago ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **20 people **like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and proper guests dont complain  
A few moments ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: Because your brother's being a dick and not letting me talk to you even though I'm fully sitting beside you at the dinner table, I'm just texting to let you know that for you being unawesomely sick, the day was still awesomely cool._

___From: Matt  
Message: awww thanks :) didn't expect that from you tho_

_____From: Gil  
Message: What can I say? Expect the unexpect. or should i say expect the awesome. which is me. hahaha_

_________From: Matt  
Message: ofcourse_  


* * *

"Um, It's okay, I don't need to be tucked in..."

"I'm not tucking you in, dummy, I'm here to threaten you."

Matthew blinked and then gave a soft "Okay..."

After dinner and an hour or so more of intense gaming, Matthew felt extremely worn out, so he decided to call it an early night. He had gotten ready and just slipped into bed when someone had knocked on the door, and Gilbert had come in with an extra blanket he had bullied Ludwig into giving up, to make up for the "lack of awesome" that Matthew would be experiencing because Gilbert was going to take over the couch. He had watched Gilbert silently open up the blanket and spread it over the one Matthew already had, all while wearing a sour expression on his face, then sat down on the edge of the bed beside the blond, who gave a weak smile.

"You're so old," Gilbert said in a matter-of-fact tone, prodding Matthew's cheek. "Who else falls ill on vacation?"

"Don't be like that, I know you've gotten ill when you've come over to my place before."

"Doesn't matter," Gilbert shrugged. "I've been to your place enough for it to be a second home. So it doesn't matter."

"Unfair." Matthew said, sticking out his tongue and Gilbert gave a small smile. He was about to resist the urge to run his fingers through Matthew's hair, but fuck that. He was too awesome to need to resist shit. He reached out and tangled his fingers through short, fine hair, sighing slightly. Matthew didn't question any of this, probably because he realized there was a moment happening, and didn't want to ruin it.

"But I'm serious. If you're sick tomorrow as well, I will probably strangle you." Gilbert said, giving the hair a small tug. "Or take you out and get you so wasted that you're going to be too busy having a hangover to feel sick. Actually yeah, I think we'll do that."

"Understood." Matthew nodded. The plan sounded sort of really stupid, but who was he to criticize?

"Alright. I'm gonna head out onto the balcony with Lars, alright?" Gilbert retracted his hand. "Gotta grace someone else with my awesome for a change today."

"Yeah, okay."

Gilbert sat there for a few moments, with a slightly expectant look on his face. It then crossed Matthew's mind that he should probably say thank you again to Gilbert, probably in the best non-verbal way at the time. Underneath all the moaning and groaning, Gilbert had done a pretty good job and Matthew was smart enough to assume that the albino cared for him without it having been said out loud. He made him food, he took him out to the cafe where he, against Matthew's protests, paid for everything. That, amongst other things, said _something. _And because they were so close, they really didn't have to say it out loud. After all, they were both decent at reading the atmosphere and confessions had never been really their thing.

"Hey, Gil..." He sat up, but Gilbert pushed his chest, sending him back. Ahh, still, this was slightly embarassing.

"No, weakling. Go to sleep."

"Yeah...but...um, hold on a second."

Gilbert raised a questioning eyebrow as Matthew sat up. His other eyebrow joined as Matthew leaned forward and pecked his cheek, muttering a quiet thank you against the skin. Gilbert didn't reply, and Matthew decided to kiss the corner of his mouth as well.

When he pulled back, Matthew didn't quite expect Gilbert's reaction, mostly because he had expected the other to have a reaction. Gilbert just gave him a blank stare for a full fifteen seconds, then raised his hand to gently brush the corner of his lips.

"Uh...temporary compensation for taking care of me?" Matthew offered weakly.

"Damn," Gilbert finally said, speaking the first thing that came to mind. "If that got me sick, I will probably have to beat you up."

"...Okay." Well _that_ created a rather awkward situation for Matthew. Maybe he shouldn't have pulled a sickly sweet move on the self-proclaimed "manliest awesome around." Unsure of what to do now, he just flopped back down on the bed.

Gilbert couldn't help but stare- his mind was wandering. The kiss didn't surprise him; awesome work deserved awesome rewards. No, it was probably having Francis in the same house (or knowing that man in general) that influenced his thought process because fuck _yeah_. If this was temporary compensation he couldn't wait for the rest. Yes, it was that train of thought that caused him to stare down the poor boy currently in his bed. Oh, in _his_ bed. Already ready. Just easy to take, now only if he wasn't sick but that really didn't matter-

"Uhm, well, good night Gilbert...and thanks, again."

The voice snapped him out of his daydreams and Gilbert smirked.

"No problem."

He pulled the blankets up til Matthew's chin, then leaned down till he was only a few centimeters away from the other.

"Good night." He said, before nipping at the tip of Matthew's nose. Matthew gave a slight yelp and Gilbert kissed the offended area.

"Awesome." Gilbert breathed, bringing his palm up to cup Matthew's cheek. A thumb ran over slightly chapped lips, and he grinned as their eyes locked. "You know what would be even better?"

"What?"

A smile was starting to play across Matthew's face, and Gilbert's thumb slightly parted the lips. Matthew could feel Gilbert's breath skate over his skin and he wanted to just reach up and close the distance, so he attempted to lift his head and-

"If you got better, so that you can thank me properly. And awesomely." With that, the thumb slid away and Gilbert patted Matthew's cheek, giving a small wink. He kesese'd as Matthew rolled his eyes and gave a good-natured grin.

"Horrible." The blond murmured, and Gilbert continued to grin as an (awesome) idea crossed his mind.

"Well, if you insist." He said, bring up his index and his middle finger up to his mouth. He dipped the tips of the fingers into his mouth, licking the fingers up to the first joint before taking them out. "Here you go, Matt."

Then he smushed the two wet fingers against Matthew's lips, earning a surprised squeak from the man settled below. Two pairs of hands shot up and grabbed his wrist but Gilbert kept his fingers pressed firmly against the pair of lips.

"Mmfphfm!" said Matthew, to which Gilbert smartly replied with a "Kesese, kiss me back!"

Matthew, slightly upset that the moment had been killed, resurrected, then tortured, flailed his arms about. He manage to smack Gilbert in the face by accident, causing the the to let go. A shocked expression quickly crossed Gilbert's face, but it was soon replaced with a smirk.

"Happy?" he teased and Matthew did his best to glare at him without laughing.

"You're disgusting." the blond stated, and Gilbert just looked proud of himself. He heaved himself off the bed, straightening out his shirt.

"You get better, we'll have a _lot_ more fun. "

A faint blush started to creep through Matthew's cheek, Gilbert noted with satisfaction. He leaned down and ruffled Matthew's hair and gave him a wink.

As Gilbert sauntered out and Matthe watched, Matthew couldn't help but wonder if his sickness was actually _contagious_ as opposed to something that you only caught when you were stressed because with the latter you wouldn't have to worry about the other person getting sick if they decided to actually stay and _do_ something instead of frickin teasing of all things because god damn even Matthew was getting impatient and...

Oh dear. He needed to sleep

Outside, Gilbert was hitting his head against the wall because he had such a great opportunity there to clamber onto Matthew but didn't because Matthew was sick even though Gilbert was way too fucking awesome to get sick.

_Fuck me, I need to stop living with Ludwig. _

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: i knw i'm supposed to continue annoying you cus ur a rapist and stuff but damn bro that was smooth_

_From: Gil  
Message: mighty fuck , what did I tell you about spying?  
_

* * *

"I_ am_ going soft." Gilbert muttered, as he sat on the upper floor veranda outside. He took another sip of the weak beer, not really wanting to get drunk. At least without Matthew, the original guest of the house. He had been slightly rambling to Lars about Matthew, from how things were going slower than intended, to Matthew falling sick and the "cavity-inducing" events of the day, and finally, how Gilbert was afraid he was getting too soft by falling for Matthew.

"Acceptance is part of the process." Lars said solemnly over his own bottle, having heard Gilbert repeat the same phrase over and over again during the past half hour.

"I mean like, here I am, kicker of all asses, in love with a 'peace-keeper'." he hummed thoughtfully, then said, "Okay, so I went for that piano playing priss, I tried for my brother, and I awesomely invaded you too. But really, Canada? _Matt_? He's so... sort of normal!"

"Appears so."

"And that kid is just _so_ fucking nice, I think he's started to influence me."

"Because God forbid the mighty Prussia be kind."

"I know, right? And he's really good-looking too, even though he's a dork sometimes. And he needs to stop wearing those really baggy sweatshirts or suits because damn, man, I saw him once when we were changing for a friendly game of brutal hockey with his bro and the Russian bastard and god_damn_ who knew that scrawny-ass twig was actually lean? You know how many times I've fantasized about that? Christ, when I get my hands on that I'm just going to bend him over something and just-"

Lars raised a hand, signaling that he really, _really_ did not want to know any more. Gilbert slumped back into his seat.

"But is it _actually_ me being soft? I _am _awesome enough to go about admitting to it, and it's not unusual for someone to love my awesomeness. And I don't think we'd be stepping on any international agreements, like I'd care anyways. "

Oh, he was gettig philosophical now.

Lars nodded, and didn't offer anything else in response, a cue for Gilbert to go on. And on and on and on.

"And it's not like he's bad or anything. Yeah he's a bit invisible and a passive-aggressive bitch but it _could_ have been worse. I coulda fallen for some nutjob."

"No, that's what Matthew did."

"Hilarious." Gilbert deadpanned, then sighed. "What do you think?"

"Well, what do _you_ think?"

"I think that together, me and Matt would kick so much ass it'd be ridiculous. But I spent an entire day looking after him-"

"-and berating him for getting sick-"

"-Fuck you. I took good care of him while you were prancing around down town. It sounds prissy, but I care for him, and anything I do is awesome irregardless so ha."

Gilbert gave a triumphant grin, while Lars slightly furrowed his eyebrows, confused as to what Gilbert had won in the first place. Quiet fell upon them as they continued to drink, staring out into the dark sky illuminated by the stars.

"Maybe we're just getting old." Lars supplied after a few long moments of silence, for lack of better thing to say.

"Yeah." Gilbert gave his half-empty bottle a long, thoughtful look. " We've started to subconsciously cut down on out wicked ways."

Gilbert looked at Lars, and Lars looked at Gilbert. They raised their bottles, clinked them, then tipped their remaining beer back into their mouths.

And then they had a good, long, hearty, and slightly maniacal laugh.

* * *

Gilbert slowly tip-toed into the bedroom afterwards, going quietly as to not wake Matthew up. He had come to grab a set of sleeping clothes. Matthew was curled into a ball, fast asleep. Gilbert felt a small wave of affection run over him and smiled freely (and awesomely); no one was in the room and he had disconnected Alfred's live footage after beating the upstart around the head. Or something like that. He walked over to Matthew's bedside and felt the blond's forehead, which was thankfully returning to normal temperature.

He heard a small buzz, and saw Matthew's phone light up on the bedside table. He picked it up, and saw that it was just some spam email. He was about to put the phone down when he suddenly got a bit curious.

_I wonder if he logged off..._

Oh, he could have some fun.

* * *

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **you should really leave germany

1 hour ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **like, now

1 hour ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **cus im not getting laid

1 hour ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **and i cn't live without glibert in me

1 hour ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **and your preventing that

1 hour ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Matthew Williams **to **Alfred Hero Jones **and i killed tony

1 hour ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall  
**Arthur Kirkland **likes this.

* * *

**Political Views: **Prussia

**Religious Views: **Gilbert Beilschmidt

**Favorite Quotes: **KESESESESESE PRUSSIA WILL RULE ALL KESESESESE

**About Me: **KESESESESE PRUSSIA WILL RULE ALL KESESESESE

* * *

**Matthew Beilschmidt** VITAL REGIONS SIEZED, BITCHES

58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **18 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **go die beilschmidt  
58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **sweet is the sound that jealousy plays  
58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ivan Braginski **congratulations ~  
58 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **not jealous just slightly disgusted  
57 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **EEEE so cute ~**  
**56 minutes ago · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **My condolences are with you, Matthew.**  
**55 minutes ago · Like

**Lovino Vargas **seconded ^**  
**54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **This better not be anything country-related. I don't want to read about this in the newspaper tommorow**  
**53 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **nope just going to take over the world. regular shit  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ivan Braginski **and then become one with me, yes?  
49 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **uh no  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Kiku Honda **I offer you my congratulations :)  
45 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **:D you know, you should come over soon. we only have 8 people at our house atm  
44 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Kiku Honda **unfortunately, I'm tied up for the next few weeks. I shall try to, one time :)  
43 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **fine :(  
42 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz** hahaha matthew like totally has bad taste!**  
**40 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **no he has awesome taste. more than I can say for *some* people  
39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz** boo, you whore :(**  
**36 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **not as romantic as i'd hoped but still :')  
34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **old woman  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **3 people **like this

**Arthur Kirkland **does this mean we can leave?  
29 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **please  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **NEVER  
24 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **dislike  
22 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Mathias Thomsen **SCOREEEE  
20 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **I KNOW, RIGHT?  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **news flash guys- he's actually not getting any.  
15 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **STFU  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **trufax  
13 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **STFU  
11 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lovino Vargas **I knew it was too good to be true  
10 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **HEY what are you getting at!  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Mathias Thomsen **nothing :) cept you suck  
8 minutes ago · Like

**Lars V. **forever alone  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **10 people **like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **fuck you all i'm deleting this  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Beilschmidt **yeah cept you left my phone on my bedside  
58 seconds ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **GO BACK TO SLEEP  
A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

I read that Prussia's good at cleaning and gardening, I just imagine him to be sometimes too lazy to actually do it?

Reviews are reaaally appreciated~


	8. Day Seven

**AN:**

I noticed I write Canada a lot but hey, I love his design. When I first saw his design I was all "Hey, my country isn't being stereotyped as a hairy lumberjack for a change!"

Though if he was a stereotypical Canadian hairy lumberjack, I think it would make all PruCan stories, serious or not, exponentially hilarious.

* * *

**Day Seven**

* * *

"Do you love me? As in, really, _really_ love me?" Gilbert asked with his voice and face serious.

"What the fuck? What kind of question is that?" Alfred exclaimed, jaw dropping.

"Well, I woke up about thirty seconds ago." Gilbert shifted on the couch, so that he was flat on his back instead of lying sideways." You're sitting on the floor, about ten inches away from me. It's creepy as hell, but I want to give you the benefit of doubt and just think that you are madly in love with the awesome me."

"I'm not my brother." Alfred said, narrowing his eyes to which Gilbert replied with an "Unfortunately."

"I'm just keeping an eye on you." Alfred crossed his arms across his chest, and Gilbert raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Because it's the brotherly thing to do."

"Really?"

Alfred nodded, and Gilbert closed his eyes, sighing. If he was reading the clock across the wall on the living room right, Ludwig would be in the kitchen making breakfast

"Yo West!" He called out, voice still slightly slurred with sleep. "Are ya there?"

"What is it?" Ludwig's voice floated into the living room.

"Can you do me a favour?"

"No."

"Alright, cool. Go upstairs and keep an eye on Matthew for me."

"...Why?"

"Because he's dangerous, doofus!"

Silence, and then an incredulous "What?"

"He is!"

"How?"

"What if he decides to_ rape_ me? Or you? Or _both_ of us?"

Gilbert heard Ludwig sigh, and was pretty sure he could hear a hand thudding against a forehead with great intensity.

"Jesus Christ West, just do it!"

"_Why?_"

"What the fuck do you mean _why_? It's the brotherly thing to do!"

"_How?"_ The strain was evident in Ludwig's voice.

"Are you saying you're not willing to save me against the Canadian danger? What if he decides to _do something _to me?"

"I'm sure you can take care of yourself."

"But West-"

"No."

"You're such a shit brother! Be a good one for a change!"

"That has got to be the _stupidest _idea I've heard out of your mouth all week."

Gilbert didn't bother to reply, and turned his head sideways to grin at Alfred.

"See?"

"I hate you." Then, as an afterthought, Alfred added. "Not that much, but I like to piss off Matthew. He's funny when he's mad."

Gilbert pondered this for a moment then gave a knowing nod. "Understandable."

* * *

_______________________________________From: Matt  
__Message: I couldn't help but hear the conversation downstairs and.. don't worry I'm not going to do anything to you, it would be impolite to...uh, rape the host I guess, eh?_

_______________________________________From: Ludwig  
__Message: Don't worry about it_

* * *

_______________________________________From: Matt  
__Message: wtf were you telling your brother?_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: your awake :D come downstairs_

_______________________________________From: Matt  
__Message: but why were you tellling your brother I'm gonna rape you?_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: your awake :D come downstairs_

_______________________________________From: Matt  
__Message: ..._

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: your awake :D come downstairs_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: your awake :D come downstairs_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: your awake :D come downstairs_

* * *

"No, trust me. Gets all the sickness right out." Alfred assured when Ludwig voiced his worries.

Ludwig stared at the two men huddled around the big cooking pot. He sighed, and shook his head.

"If you kill our guest, I will not be held accountable."

Gilbert shrugged, and lifted the soup ladle up, taking a sniff."Needs more spice."

"Which one?" Alfred asked, holding up two open glass bottles, one in each hand. The two had put aside their differences for the time being, just enough time to cook a breakfast, and then something for Matthew to make him feel better. Contrary to what others believed, they were both _awesome _chefs, primarily because they said so.

"The one with the red powder. It's spicier, right?"

"No clue." Alfred replied, and Gilbert hummed for a second.

"How about both?"

That seemed like a sensible solution, so they poured both into the simmering concoction. Alfred had called it the Soup For Heroes, claiming that after anyone has some, they'll never get sick again. Gilbert reminded him that he had been sick just recently and Alfred told him at least he had something that he could _get _sick over and Gilbert was about to take off Texas and pour habanero sauce into Alfred's eyes but then Ludwig walked in. That had caused them to forget what they were actually arguing about and that was perfectly fine with them.

As they continued stirring the pot, Lars walked into the kitchen looking for something to eat as well. Because there were eight people in the house, all with very different sleep cycles, they had stopped trying to sit down to breakfast together, and people came and went through the kitchen as they pleased.

"What's that?" he asked, slightly wrinkling his nose at the messy kitchen. Spoons and chopped up vegetables and random spilled spice powders were everywhere, and he side stepped a red splotch on the floor.

"Breakfast. Want?"

Lars ambled over to the pot and bent over slightly. "Smells spicy."

"Smell can be deceiving." Gilbert said sagely, and Alfred gave a nod. "Have some."

Gilbert used the wooden ladle to scoop up some of the reddish-orange soup.

"Come, child. Partake in the awesome offering."

Lars stared at the two men.

"I am _so _glad I'm leaving today." But he took the ladle anyways, because he was hungry as hell and had a flight in two hours. "Creeps."

* * *

**Lars V.** Gilbert Beilschmidt and Alfred Hero Jones my taste buds will never be the same. You both deserve to die

5 minutes ago ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Gilbert Beilschmidt**, **Alfred Hero Jones**, and **Ivan Braginski **likes this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **someone can't handle the awesome  
3 minutes ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **of all the times for you two to team up  
2 minutes ago ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"So let me get it straight..." Matthew said, as Lars put his duffel bag into the trunk of Ludwig's car. "You actually accepted to eat something that Alfred and Gilbert made _together_?"

"Everyone does something they regret." Lars said quietly, more because he couldn't speak any louder due to the fact that his tongue stopped cooperating with him some time back. Matthew gave a light laugh at that, but coughed.

"Maybe you should have some of that weird shit. They made it for you, after all." Lars pointed, and Matthew grimaced.

"Yeah, I'm glad I'm loved enough to earn that."

Lars (well, attempted to) chuckled and ruffled Matthew's hair.

"Take care, kid. And if Beilschmidt does anything weird, just call me over and I'll take care of him."

"Thanks, but he does something weird every day. I think I'm used to it. Are you sure you can't stay another day or two?"

"Nah, when the boss calls, I need to go." Lars held his arms out, and Matthew complied, giving the other man a hug. "Don't worry, I'm sure the others can distract Alfred long enough for you to get laid."

Matthew pressed his lips together, face turning red.

"Getting sick again?" Lars queried, and Matthew shook his head rather jerkily. "Oh, _embarassed_. Got it, kid. Don't worry, I have faith in you."

"For what?" A voice piped up, as a third pair of arms wrapped around the two. Lars just gave a knowing look to Gilbert, who smirked in return. He opened his mouth to say something, but then Alfred had attached himself to the three.

"Aww, you should stay another day!" Alfred said, as a growing look of discomfort grew on Matthew's face at being trapped between three men.

"This is really gay." Alfred commented again after a few seconds, and spoke too soon for a _fifth_ pair of arms, this time rather burly, latched onto the group.

"Are we done yet?" asked Ludwig, as everyone stared at him. His expression was stoic, but his cheeks were turning slightly pink. "We should really start heading out towards the airport."

"Aw, West, now we're _super_ gay!"

"Ohonhon, what am I missing here, _mes amis_?"

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **I know you're still a bit sick

10 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **but you slept on the way back from the airport when we dropped Lars off

10 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **so I'm asking you, very awesomley

10 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **TO WAKE THE FUCK UP

10 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **I'M SO BORED

10 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams**

WEST IS MAKING ME CLEAN BECAUSE YOURE SLEEPING AND I CANT OCCUPY MY TIME WITH YOU AND WHEN I SAID IT WAS OK FOR YOU TO SLEEP I DIDNT MEAN ITTTTTTTTTTT

10 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **AND ARTHURS JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING LAME TV WITH WEST

9 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **AND FRANCIS AND FELI ARE COOKING

9 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **AND ALFRED IS LAUGHING AT ME

9 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Matthew Williams **AND I'M ALL (AWESOMELY) ALOOOOONE

9 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall · **Rodereich Edelstein** likes this

* * *

"You know," Alfred points out, as Gilbert wipes off the dining table. "Just because I'm not kicking your ass at the moment, doesn't mean you have my approval."

"Please," Gilbert snorts. "As if you were kicking my ass in the first place. Why do I need your approval?"

"Because."

There is a long pause.

"You know, you can continue."

"No, that's it."

"You're kidding me."

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** as awesome as I am at it, I hate cleaning as much as Ludwig Beilschmidt. WAKE UP Matthew Williams

10 minutes ago ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

Gilbert likes**being boss.**

Gilbert likes **************being the shit.**

Gilbert likes********************************************** wishing for better siblings****************.**

Gilbert likes************** oh no i'm gonna die LOL JK still here bitches****************.**

Gilbert likes**************************************************************************being awesome.**  


Gilbert likes****************************************************************************** being a badass.**

******************************************************************************See 18 more**

* * *

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **to **Gilbert Beilschmidt **If you got off the internet, you'd be able to actually finish your chores. Just saying.

5 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **to **Ludwig Beilschmidt **If you didn't have a stick up your ass, you wouldn't be giving me these chores. just sayin

3 minutes ago · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

* * *

_From: Matt  
____Message: sorry for falling asleep but I feel better now :D_

_____From: Gil  
____Message: Yeah yeah fuckin rainbows and whatever. come downstairs?_

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: OMG MATT I HAVE SUCH A BADASS IDEA_

_____From: Matt  
____Message: no_

* * *

"Feeling better?" Gilbert asked from the couch where he had taken up residence with Arthur to watch TV after he had finished cleaning. Matthew yawned and nodded, rubbing his eyes. "Much better."

"Good. 'Cus I'm sick of playing house on vacation." Gilbert grumbled, making Arthur roll his eyes. "As if it's the lad's fault."

"It totally was." He shuffled over to the side, so that Matthew could sit between him and Arthur, and slung an arm around the man's shoulders. "Whatcha feel like doin'?"

"Your choice." Matthew shrugged. "I'm up for anything."

A small smirk started growing on Gilbert's face, which Arthur caught.

"Not while I'm in the room-" he started to warn, but was cut off as Alfred came in with a loud "OH EM GEE GUYS I HAVE AN IDEA~"

* * *

It turned out Alfred's big idea was for Gilbert and Matthew to more or less "earn" his approval.

Matthew tried to point out that he and Gilbert weren't really officially a couple (yet) but he was ignored. So he had voiced the same opinion as Gilbert, asking why it really mattered if Alfred approved or not since he wasn't his mother or anything. After an hour of calming down a wibbling Alfred who moaned that no one ever loved him enough lately, Matthew caved in and decided to agree with the plan.

It was simple, really. Recently, Alfred and Matthew had taken to resolving their smaller problems through sports, usually hockey or baseball, and the occasional curling match. It gave them a good excuse to do some healthy brotherly beating, without having their bosses throw a shit fit. They usually took turns choosing which sport to play, and coincidentally, it was Alfred's turn.

He stated that no way in hell and beyond were they going to play hockey, and Matthew countered with a "And damn if I play baseball with you ever again" because ever since that one time, whenever Matthew saw Alfred with a baseball ball, a certain part of him shrunk in fear.

So, with a smug grin, Alfred said that they should play a game of good old basketball. Matthew had agreed on the game, appearing rather reluctant.

Three on three. It had been agreed that Francis, Gilbert, and Matthew would play on one team, and Ludwig, Feliciano, and Alfred would be on the other. Arthur was refereeing, on the promise that he wouldn't get distracted by any of the ghosts that might appear from the old basketball court behind a high school.

* * *

_From: Gil  
____Message: Are you sure about this? I thought you'd want to do hockey or something theres a rink nearby and everything_

_From: Matt  
____Message: don't worry about it. I got this_

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas** posted a picture up via Mobile Web

58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz **omg that sweatband totally suits your hair ludwig you look good for a change  
58 minutes ago · Like

******Gilbert Beilschmidt **omg thats like what i totally told him and he got all pissy  
57 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz **uh don't like mock me, bitch  
56 minutes ago · Like

**********Peter Kirkland** omg all of you guys look so cool ;3; can i join  
55 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Peter Kirkland** ..guys?  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

Turns out that Matthew _had _got this, and then some.

"In your face!" Matthew exclaimed, in a rare show of being a cocky bastard. "Thought you could beat me, eh?"

Feliciano was congratulating Francis on a good game, while Ludwig was wiping off the sweat from his forehead using a towel offered by Arthur.

They had just played an _intense_ game of basketball, to say the least. While basketball was something that everyone had thought that Alfred would have the edge over Matthew, Matthew forgot to mention a little detail about a _Canadian_ inventing basketball. And since, being Canada, he had a lot of Canadian spirit...

For someone who was still a bit sick, Matthew had been _aggressive_, and paired with Alfred's natural competitiveness, the match was fierce. Ludwig, Francis, and Feliciano had proved to be extremely proficient players as well, provided that they were actually in possession of the ball. The two brothers were ball hogs, and barreled through each other as they tore up and down the court. In the end, the game was close, with only a two basket difference. And Alfred had sulked and told Arthur he sucked dick at refereeing, to which Matthew told him to stop being a sore loser, to which Alfred hit him in the head with a ball, to which Matthew hit him in the nuts with the same ball...

Alfred had no words, as his brother started to do a little victory jig on the spot. He just stared as his brother whooped, and, um...danced? And then Gilbert joined in...oh God, _this_ was the reason Alfred never let his brother get the upper hand, or know he had the upper hand because out of the two, Matthew actually had the more embarrassing victory dance.

Well, it looked like he had to give the dancing duo his approval. He didn't really _mind _Gilbert as he had told the man earlier, it just made him sad that now he had to find a whole new big thing to bother Matthew about. And that took effort and...

A couple of teenagers were walking by the field beside the court, and were staring at the cheering men as Gilbert pulled Matthew into a big bear hug. And Alfred could see their eyes slightly bug out as Gilbert let out a "We're way too fucking awesome" and planted a kiss right on Matthew's lips. Just like that.

Wait, wasn't Matthew sick just yesterday? Didn't he do some sneezing in the morning? So why were they using tongue?

_Dubs-tee-eff, dude._

He could hear Francis sigh about how the romantic kiss/confession was so... _not romantic_. Ludwig was telling Gilbert that they were in public to no avail, Feliciano fawned over the couple and Arthur was just standing there seemingly indifferent.

Oh God he should not have stopped by the McDonald's before the court. He wanted to puke, or eat a hamburger, or eat a hamburger then puke or puke then eat a hamburger or something like that and it totally wasn't out of jealousy that his brother was getting/going to get more than he had gotten in a _long _time. No it was purely because _no one _should play such an intense game right after three meals in one go.

And of course, added to the stake was the age old "Loser buys the drinks!" With the company present, Alfred was pretty sure he'd have a lot of explaining to do to his boss for the sudden lack of money.

* * *

**Francis Bonnefoy** posted a video via Mobile Web

1 hour ago · Like · **24 people** like this

**Peter Kirkland **PWNED  
58 minutes ago · Like · **4 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **it was a close game, okay!  
58 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **yeah 10-6 is a close game  
57 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **you guys cheated  
56 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **sure we did  
56 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lovino Vargas **don't know, burger bitch, looks like you got your ass kicked pretty hard.  
55 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **aww fratello don't be mean we tried !  
54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **why does everyone bully me :(  
54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **cus you're easy  
53 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** :'(  
52 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** aww Al you know we love you  
51 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **lies  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **you woulda won if you had me on your team  
49 minutes ago · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Alfred Hero Jones **...LOOL  
47 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **LMFAAAAAAAO  
47 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **OMFG PETER ROFL  
47 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Peter, it's not proper to like your own post  
47 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **OMFG all of you can go suck my dick  
46 minutes ago · Like

**Berwald ****Oxenstierna** Language, Peter.  
45 minutes ago · Like

**Peter Kirkland **OMFG all of you can go suck my weenie  
44 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **of course peter, of course.  
42 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **why not  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **tag team?  
39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **anything for peter  
36 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **GUYS HES LIKE TWELVE  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **STFU your just jealous, loner boy  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **ohonhon he doesn't really have a reason to be~  
32 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **you're never too young  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Lars would be proud^  
29 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **:D  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Berwald ****Oxenstierna** Peter, they're not serious.  
27 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **what if we are?  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Tino Väinämöinen **You're not.**  
**23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **omg rain on my parade much mom :(  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Tino Väinämöinen **I am a man, therefore not a mother. Why do I need to keep explaining this?**  
**19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Alfred Hero Jones **of course you would like that, Arthur  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **lighten up, peter needs to learn to be a man  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** ...yeah, Lars would definitely be proud.  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: Ten drinks. Fastest drinker. Put nation tolerance 2 the test?_

_From: Gil  
____Message: Challenge accepted_

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: Ur going down_

_From: Gil  
____Message: On your brother, yeah_

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: toooooo much info_

_From: Gil  
____Message: your point_

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: Fifteen drinks_

_From: Gil  
____Message: prepare to be pwned _

* * *

"Maybe I shouldn't have given him up to you." Francis mused over a glass of finely aged wine as he watched the group of enthusiastic drinkers. "He was the last one I was expecting to turn out like a simpleton."

"As if it was my fault." Arthur scoffed. He was slightly bitter about being chosen as the designated drier.

"It was."

"As much as yours."

Francis sighed and continued to scan the bar for fine specimens. While he was glad that things were finally in the clear with Matthew and Gilbert, their getting together...lacked flair. It had just happened. It was lovely to see Gilbert try to make out with Matthew in the backseat of the seven-seater they were in and Matthew pointing out that while Feliciano who was dozing off would probably not care, he still wouldn't want to run the risk of waking him up...or being impolite to everyone else in the SUV. But it lacked the dramatic confession, the passionate...passion, the roses and the Chardonnay and the sweet words of _l'armour_.

"You've been watching too many of those romantic type movies of Alfred's." Arthur said, but Francis ignored him in favor of looking at the table ten feet away from the counter where he and Arthur (and Ludwig, but he was busy talking to the bar tender) were sitting. Gilbert and Alfred were sitting down at the table, glasses and mugs of various shapes and sizes lined up, downing alcohol as fast as they could. Feliciano was cheering them both on, while Matthew looked content sitting beside Gilbertt with a mug of beer of his own. He and Gilbert had sneaked in a kiss or two since they arrived but it had gone straight to a drinking contest and Francis swore he saw Matthew gently berate Gilbert for not drinking faster than Alfred.

"All your fault." Francis said again. "You were and still are as plain as a board. And now it's rubbed off on Matthew."

Arthur tried to resist the urge to pick up the olive from the martini of the girl sitting beside him and chuck it at Francis.

* * *

_From: Gil  
____Message: I tld yu I wud wiiiiiiin_

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: suk my cawwwk_

_From: Gil  
____Message: jeluss? U shud be_

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: I no ur trnnaferl fujck matt baxjp there_

_From: Gil  
____Message: waaaaaaaat_

_From: Alpha D.  
____Message: i haaaaetz u bby_

_From: Gil  
____Message: hew abut you kiss nein arsh..mein arsch,,,fucksh_

_From: Gil  
____Message: om. G. Di u pass outtttt ?LOL1!_

_From: Gil  
____Message: u litewait_

* * *

_From: Gil  
____Message: heyyyy mattbabeee feli issleeping how but u +me= backseat action y/y?_

_From: Matt  
____Message: but I dub wanna wake hum up it'd be impliiieeeyte._

_From: Gil  
____Message: awqiehaflb fyneeee but u bttr keep gud 2 dat prmodise ok_

* * *

"All your fault."

Ludwig had already carried Feliciano upstairs, while Matthew and Gilbert were attempting to get out from the car and into the house. Currently, they had made it out the car and god knows what they were doing outside.

"I swear, you say that one more time and I will pick Alfred up myself and beat you with him."

Francis and Arthur were left with the mundane task of bringing Alfred, who had passed out, inside. Francis grabbed Alfred's ankles, while Arthur grabbed his arms, and on a count of three they hoisted him out the car. They set up Alfred on his two feet, one man supporting on each side.

A small thud could be heard from inside and both Francis an Arthur frowned.

"Five more minutes." Arthur said. "Let's just wait five more minutes and they'd have moved it upstairs."

* * *

They had made it onto the bed, and had been kissing...and that was about as far as it had went, because both were ready to pass out. As tempting as Matthew was, after all he drank Gilbert didn't even know if he would be able to get it up...or stay awake for a matter.

"Giiilllbert?" Matthew slurred, his voice an octave higher. "Duuuude!"

"Mmphf. Tommorow." came the grunted, and equally impaired speech. He was lying on top of Matthew, feeling way too lazy to move.

"But yer squishin me!"

"Well shit."

Gilbert rolled off Matthew, landing face down on the bed and noticed how soft and fluffy and amazing his bed was. He assumed it was on the side Matthew slept on because it sure as hell smelled like him or maybe it was because the blond was attempting to curl up beside him.

_So nice._

So nice that he'd do the same thing Alfred did and Matthew was doing and just pass out or go to sleep or whatever was happening now that his mind was beggining to drift off.

* * *

"You're just as bad as Alfred." Arthur said, and Francis shush'd him. "Oh for goodness sakes, they're not going to hear us."

"Please," Francis sniffed. "I would not stoop to the levels of planting _spy_ cameras just to spy on a young couple."

"You have before."

"That's beside the point."

Arthur sighed, and continued to wait and watch as Francis continued to peer through the crack of the door, muttering things about how the young kids these days just didn't _understand_ romance.

* * *

I know basketball isn't commonly used but trufax- it was invented by a Canadian. that's why I opted for that instead of hockey. Also because I haven't played hockey in a year or two so some things are still fuzzy for me and I love my life too much to ask of my (ruthless, cruel, tank) hockey friends to refresh my memory because if I wrote out a hockey scene I would soo over do it

Also hockey is used a lot and I want to try to be a little less predictable than I already am haha.

I'm sorry if Lars leaving seemed a bit abrupt...but it had been planned for sometime so yeah XD


	9. Day Eight

sorry if there is tourist-y fail I haven't been to Berlin in a loooooooooong time. I really wanna go to the charlottenburg palace because according to wikipedia it's inside's got a lot of baroque and rococo decoration and they're only my two most favourite art periods evarr

* * *

**Day Eight**

* * *

Gilbert was the fall out of sleep, finding himself with a face full of pillow and the right side of his body draped over Matthew's, a blanket covering the blond more than him. He had woken up by a scratchy feeling in his throat. For a fleeting second, he had the thought that maybe if he tried to speak nothing would come out and he opened his mouth to try out.

"Matt?" He said, his voice hoarse but there none the less and he wondered why he thought it was gone in the first place. "Yo, wake up."

Matthew was on his side, facing away from Gilbert. He stirred, groaning slightly.

"Five more minutes..." he mumbled and Gilbert brought a hand up to Matthew's head. He tugged at the hair gently. "Ma-att, wake _up_..."

"_Nooo_..." Matthew whined, pulling the blanket up and covering his head head up till his nose, causing Gilbert to frown.

"I hate you and I regret sleeping with you." he stated and Matthew merely mumbled in response. "'M'sorry Matt, didn't catch that."

"I don't care and we didn't sleep together." the response was louder this time but Gilbert still had to strain hear.

"You do, and we're in the same bed, so we slept together."

"Not in the way you implied."

"And whose fault was that?"

"Completely yours." Matthew tugged the blanket up over his head so that only his wayward curl poked out.

"Douchebag." Gilbert muttered, then wrinkled his nose. It was started to feel slightly itchy, like something weird was building up. Like a sneeze.

"Oh shit you got me si-" Gilbert interrupted himself with a loud sneeze, one that made Matthew flinch underneath the sheets. He sneezed again, louder, and woke Matthew up fully. Gilbert rolled off Matthew, lying flat on his back as the other turned on to his side.

"Are you okay?" Matthew asked, his sleep-ridden voice tinged with concern as he looked at Gilbert with bleary eyes. Gilbert lolled his head to the side so he could half-heartedly glare at Matthew, who still had the blanket up to his chin.

"I think you got me sick." he said, and Matthew's lips slightly parted with a retort but his still-dozing mind couldn't think of any. So he settled for a simple "I'm sorry."

"Better be." Gilbert grunted, and Matthew's eyes fluttered shut.

"Maple..." He said in a barely audible whisper. "I think I have a hangover."

"No shit. Even _I_ might have one."

"My head's swimming." Matthew groaned, turning his face slightly into the pillow.

"It's 'cos you need some awesome."

"I'm sure."

"Kiss?" Gilbert asked, puckering his lips in a near comical fashion. Matthew opened his eyes and shifted his head forward on the pillow, then winced as he felt something inside his brain beat against his skull.

"Morning breath." He croaked then gave a small cough, and Gilbert gave a knowing nod. He stared at Matthew for a bit, before closing his eyes as well. Matthew inched closer, and wrapped the blanket over both of them.

"We'll taken care of things later," he murmured, hooking a leg across Gilbert. "Let's just catch some sleep."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** OMG what kind of boss makes u do work on vacation ?

10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **maybe telling him before you go on vacation next time will help you avoid the problem  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **3 people** like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **stfu mom  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **What happened?  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **boss calls and is all "oh i got some work for u cus ur in germany already ololololol" and I have to do some shitty paperwork with ludwig today  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **and get out of bed i need breakfast and matts still sleeping  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **I already made you breakfast, idiot  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **uh no you shat in a frying pan and fed it to me  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **6 people **like this

**Arthur Kirkland **You are so unbelievably disgusting.  
4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **you are what you eat  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**From: **Kuma W.

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** no subject

withdrawing a few hundred for the interior designer for the new room. using credit card number written in diary. your name is matthew williams, correct?

-K. Williams

* * *

"Are you okay Matt? You look shocked."

"Um..." Matthew was holding his phone above his face, still laying flat on his back on the bed. Gilbert was on his belly beside him, wiping a slightly running nose on the pillow. Both had woken up again, but hadn't bothered to get out of bed purely because they both felt like shit and hadn't come to the conclusion as to whether it was the hangover or a sickness or a lovely combination of both.

"Can I see?"

"Yeah, sure..."

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Kuma W.

**Subject:** RE:no subject

um why do you need a new room? do we have room for a new room? Why are you e-mailing me? How are you e-mailing me?

and yeah it's Matthew Williams.

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Kuma W.

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE:RE:no subject

new babies. yes. because. and secret.

it's okay. found different card that said gilbert beilschmidt. will use that instead.

-K. Williams

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Kuma W.

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:no subject

new babies? but I don't think we have space for baby polar bears and ive not been gone long and i dont remember you leaving the house much lately. how? And how are you going to get an interior designer if you're a bear?

Don't use Gilbert's card! It's not polite to use other people's things without their permission.

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Kuma W.

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:no subject

not exactly baby polar bears. we have room don't worry (aren't you one of those big countries?). still a secret. tony handles human interactions.

I do what I want.

-K. Williams

* * *

"You North Americans..." Gilbert gave Matthew a look.

"Hey!" Matthew protested. "You guys have done weird shit too!"

"Sure, sure."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** had to have a *work* meeting in Ludwig Beilschmidt's office WHILE ON VACATION ashdajkh what is this

54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Trust me, I didn't particularly enjoy it either.  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **next time before you go on vacation, i think you should tell your boss  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **k well next time before *you* go on vacation i think you should tell me so we can avoid this  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** you would tag along anyways  
39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **point?  
37 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **is too big for your brain  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **i'm ashamed to call you my brother.  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **):  
29 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **kidding, love you and your lameness, now get out of bed and come make me some food.  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **i'm not your maid. Why does everyone ask me to amke food?  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and he's currently getting busy ;)  
22 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** ...ew  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** ew  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** ew  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** mental image  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** do not want  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** do not want  
18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** calm your shit you're as bad as francis. he's in the bathroom  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_________From: Gil  
__Message: __you know, for having your pet fucking polar bear ask you for money and then use a card i forgot at your place, you're pretty calm. how?  
_

___________From: Matt  
__Message: just go with the flow_

_________From: Gil  
__Message: are you texting while brushing your teeth?_

___________From: Matt  
__Message: maybe_

_________From: Gil  
__Message: so your mouth's just full of all that thick white... toothpaste right? ;)  
_

___________From: Matt  
__Message: yeah. it's foaming and it looks like i have rabies.  
_

_________From: Gil  
__Message: ..._

___________From: Matt  
__Message: wanna come see_

_________From: Gil  
__Message: you are so unsexy_

* * *

_From: Francis_  
_Message: I have gotten my secretary to book Arthur and I a flight out late tonight. You're welcome to join.  
_

_From: Alpha D._  
_Message: traitor :(_

* * *

"Weren't you coughing three minutes ago?" Gilbert nodded, and Matthew frowned. "This is a bit disgusting."

"But it's not _completely_ disgusting." reasoned Gilbert, his voice muffled as he moved closer with the two fingers still in his mouth. They had moved down to the kitchen for breakfast, even though it was almost noon. Matthew had started the regular routine of getting out things to make pancakes with, because they couldn't think of anything else to make. While Matthew took out everything to cook, Gilbert trailed behind, shamelessly hitting on him the whole time.

"Gilbert, let go. I need still to make breakfast, eh?" Matthew tapped his ring finger against the corner of Gilbert's mouth. "Food now, sexual advances later."

Gilbert's latest attempt was when Matthew had taken out a half-full bottle of maple syrup. There had been some sticky residue around the neck of the bottle that had gotten onto Matthew's fingers. Matthew had made for the sink, but Gilbert caught him half way, offering to take care of it.

"I prefer to be more spontaneous. You know, carpe diem and all that awesome stuff."

"Oh come _on._" Matthew grinned, wriggling his fingers as he felt a tongue glide over them. "I want to get something to drink at least. Let go."

Gilbert drew his mouth back till he was only only at the tips and nipped at the fingers, eyes gleaming and a playful smirk unfurling.

"Nu-uh." he said, winking. "I'll give you something _better_ to drink."

"You're so corny." Matthew rolled his eyes but made no move to pull his hand away anymore as Ludwig walked in to the kitchen, eyes scanning the counters as he fixed the collar of his shirt.

"Have you seen my phone?" he asked, seemingly unperturbed by the scene. "I'm leaving in twenty minutes and I need it."

"Nope." Gilbert said, Matthew's fingers slipping from his mouth. "Where ya going?"

"Lunch with America. Alfred." Ludwig replied, starting to open spoon drawers, still looking for the phone. "Boss' orders for the meeting."

He gestured to his semi-casual attire. "And Alfred says he wants to see around town."

"...How long are you going to be gone for?"

"A few hours, I suppose." Ludwig paused, then gave Gilbert a pointed look. "I heard you coughing and sneezing this morning. Don't go out or do anything crazy. I don't want you to over-exert yourself."

In turn, Gilbert stuck his tongue out at his brother but muttered a "Fine." Matthew gave him a curious look but Gilbert gave him a wink, which Ludwig picked up.

"I'm serious, Gilbert, if I'm out and I see you at the same place..."

"Ew, as if I'd ever want to go where _you _go. Get off your high horse, West."

It was Ludwig's turn to roll his eyes at Gilbert while Matthew laughed lightly.

"Do you want anything to eat?" He asked, waving off Gilbert before he could make a sexual comment.

"No, I have already eaten. I must get a move on though, so I'll see you later." Ludwig nodded in Matthew's direction, and gave a _look_ in Gilbert's direction before exiting, muttering to himself about phones.

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** lunch with Ludwig Beilschmidt then getting ditched by Francis Bonnefoy and Arthur Kirkland tonight. bitches.

34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Arthur Kirkland **likes this

**Francis Bonnefoy **all things said and done, we aren't really needed anymore ;)  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **um, shut up mom  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **wasn't browzilla the mom  
27 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **stop stealing my nicknames, eyebrows jr. and they're both the mothers  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **and i am  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **half a mom  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **i dont get this. arent francis and lars men  
24 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **and I am too!  
23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **note how no one backed you up  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"Hey Matt, got anything you want to do today?"

"Hmm?" Matthew continued to stir the contents of the bowl, analyzing the batter as the stove heated the pan up.

"Was there anything in particular you wanted to see today? Or go anywhere?" Gilbert stepped behind Matthew, as the other pulled a spatula out of a drawer beneath the counter and placed it beside the bowl.

"I'll take you on a date then, somewhere nice and all that shit." Gilbert said, trying to be the first to pick up the spatula but got his hand swatted away. "Hey, I wanted that! And Francis can stop giving me special looks."

"What special looks?" Matthew asked as he started to tip the bowl into the pan.

"Ones that say we're not romantic enough for his tastes."

"Really?" Matthew leaned over the pan and sniffed slightly. "Does that bother you?"

Gilbert detached himself from Matthew and walked to the fridge to look for something to drink.

"Not really. But then there's also your brother. Who's cool and all, but harbors great misconceptions about me."

He reached in and grabbed a carton of orange juice while Matthew chuckled.

"Like what?"

Gilbert opened the carton of juice, and sniffed the contents.

"Like I'm a big pervert who just wants to get in your pants."

"And which part of that statement is not true?"

Instead of replying, Gilbert stood there with the fridge door open, drinking juice straight out of the carton while he contemplated the answer. Yeah, which part of that_ wasn't_ true?

"Well," he started, swallowing the remaining juice in his mouth and looking at Matthew. "I don't want to _just _get in your pants. How about that?"

"I'm touched." Matthew said flatly, then both men laughed.

"But seriously," Gilbert said, after his laughter died down a bit and the fridge started beeping from being open too long. "If we were meant to just fuck, we'd have done that a long time ago. I mean, look at me. You were something else to not do me upon first sight."

"_Wanting_ to and _actually_ doing are two different things, eh?" Matthew said with a playful wink over his shoulder, then the tips of his ears immediately turned pink as Gilbert gave him an incredulous look.

"Holy shit. Did you just _flirt_ with me?"

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Matthew Williams, capable of being smooth?

25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** you lie  
23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** you lie  
23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** twinsies :D  
22 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** please don't  
21 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** :( /3  
21 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** no lie. he actually said something mildly sexual  
20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** mind blown  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** they grow up so fast  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** I know right  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** we must commemorate this  
18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** that's what I said. and the little fucker's all "stop acting like i'm incapable of these things eh!"  
17 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** next thing you know he'll be doing other crazy things, like trying to be dominating. how'd you figure who'd be on top?  
16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** flip a coin  
15 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **3 people **like this

* * *

"Remember what I told you." Ludwig said, voice stern as always, as he slipped into his shoes, Gilbert standing in the front landing with him. Matthew was helping Alfred get on his bomber jacket, assuring him that no it was okay that he wasn't coming along and Matthew wouldn't feel left out and alone and desperate and invisible without his heroic brother's presence.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Gilbert said flippantly. "Of course I'd remember. Don't go out, don't stress yourself, don't get sick or you won't take care of me even though I don't care."

"Good." Ludwig straightened up, brushing off his pants. He asked Alfred if he was ready, getting a thumbs up and a grin in return, though as soon as he turned around Alfred narrowed his eyes and brought two fingers up to them, then pointed them at Gilbert. Gilbert raised his hand up in front of his face and looked away, while Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Have fun!" Gilbert chirped as the duo stepped out, and Ludwig gave him a suspicious glare. Gilbert just smiled back in return, and slammed the door as soon as they were out.

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** ew, work. atleast i get to look around the city

44 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Alfred Jones? Doing work?  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **8 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones **smd  
39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Could it be that you're...growing up?  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **whatevs methuselah  
21 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: yo, what kind of date do you think matt would like?  
_

_______________________________________From: Francis  
__Message: oh, you're taking him on a date?  
_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: yep but I don't know what/where_

_______________________________________From: Francis  
__Message: ahhh, it's so nice to see you being romantic :)_

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: yeah yeah i'm bleeding love and whatever. but idk where to take him_

_______________________________________From: Francis  
__Message: Well, Feliciano and I are teaching Arthur how to cook and if you want we can set up a wonderful lunch for you and Arthur can even provide dessert_

* * *

_______________________________________From: Gil  
__Message: hey feli, got date ideas?  
_

* * *

"Ah-ah-_Ahhh_ fuck!" Gilbert cursed inside, hopping on one foot and holding onto the other. Matthew, who was walking by at the moment, stopped as Gilbert gave another frustrated groan. Leaning into the door, he frowned as he knocked on the door.

"Um, Gilbert...what are you doing?"

Gilbert glared at the door. He didn't really want to tell Matthew that he did something as unawesome as murdering his toe by accidentally knocking it against a certain part where the washroom wall jutted out.

"I'm masturbating furiously to memories of your passive aggressiveness." He managed to grind out, still silently cursing the pain in his foot.

"Wait, what?" Matthew choked out. "You_ are_? Why?"

"Always go dry before a date." Gilbert replied more easily as his breathing evened out, giving a small grunt as he rubbed his toe and Matthew's face reddened on the other side of the door. "Cardinal rule, bro. Ninety eight percent effective when preventing unwanted boners."

There was a short silence following it, and as he hopped into a pair of torn black jeans, Gilbert wished he could see the blond's undoubtedly embarrassed expression.

"U-u-um welll..." Matthew stuttered. "Well you don't have to um...uh..."

This got Gilbert slightly curious as he zipped up his jeans so the bathroom door creaked open, and Gilbert poked his head out. Because he hadn't put a shirt on and his torso was visible while his lower half wasn't, Matthew stared.

"Holy crap, you were actually-"

"I don't have to what?" Gilbert cut off, grinning. "Hey! My eyes are up here!"

"Oh, um..." Matthew's face was as red as Gilbert had imagined it to be. "You don't have to...I mean, if you like...you _know_..."

"Please, do explain." He fully knew what Matthew meant, but he knew the other wasn't very forward in voicing these type of things and liked to prod him.

"You don't have to, um, go _dry_ or anything because...you won't really need to because even if we're sick I'm sure we'll..find a way or something, I mean like...um..."

Matthew coughed, him not being used to saying these thoughts out loud during such situations (this early in the day anyways) and Gilbert's grin widened.

"But I haven't finished off. I can't just walk around with a boner, y'know."

"Uhm..." Matthew swallowed thickly. "If you let me in, I'll...uh..."

Gilbert had to restrain from cooing over how embarrassed Matthew looked and decided to relieve him of the stress. Even though letting him in sounded like a very good idea, he was raring to get out of the house.

"That's the spirit!" He opened the door fully and Matthew let out a little squawk at realizing Gilbert was actually clothed on his lower half and had been lying. "What? Disappointed I'm not naked?"

"_No_!"

"Well you should be." Gilbert grabbed his grey t-shirt off the counter, and walked out of the bathroom. Instead of putting it on he used it to whip Matthew's ass on the way out, causing the blond to jump slightly.

"Now hurry up. We need to get this bitch rolling before West and your brother get home."

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** random wandering in the city + Matthew Williams

14 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **I thought I told you to not exert yourself.  
13 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you did. you spoke, i listened but no where in there did I said I would follow :)  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and we took cold medicine, it's ok  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Is that safe? Doesn't it make you sleepy? If you're driving, I assume being drowsy is not the smartest idea.  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **chill bro, sleep is for the weak. even the med-induced kind  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"The weather forecast says it's going to rain today." Matthew said, looking at his phone. "Maybe we should've brought jackets, eh?"

"Don't worry about it." Gilbert waved off the concern from the other side of the back seat of the taxi they were in. "We'll go indoors or something, no big deal."

"If you say so..." Matthew looked out the window at the grey sky. It hadn't darkened, so he hoped for the best. "Where are we going anyways?"

"That's a very good question." Gilbert replied. "And you will get the answer as soon as we get there."

"You don't know, do you?"

"Arthur and Francis have a flight late in the evening so we should be back by then."

"Where are we going?"

"But we'll have enough time to eat dinner out."

"You're not gonna get us lost, are you?"

"And really, instead of going home then the airport, we can go straight to the airport to see them off."

"_Dude._"

* * *

******Francis Bonnefoy **posted a picture via Mobile Web

19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **15 people **like this

**********Peter Kirkland **what is this i don't even  
17 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********S. Chelles **did he force this upon you guys again  
15 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Tino Väinämöinen** I don't see what's wrong with it  
13 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **I would appreciate you not putting up my cuisine samples up for others to scrutinize  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Peter Kirkland **then dont cook it stupid  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **heathen  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Feliciano Vargas **but this is why we're teaching him how to cook :D  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

* * *

"And you said I didn't know what we were going to do." Gilbert said, smug grin on his face, while Matthew leaned backwards to get as much of the large building on his camera as possible. They were standing in the courtyard of the_ Schloss Charlottenburg._

"This is really beautiful." The blond commented, as a hand made its way to his back pocket and gave his ass a little squeeze. He paid it no attention as he squinted to look at the LCD screen, making sure the shot came out right.

"No shit." Gilbert replied, but had more affection in his voice than sarcasm as he looked at the large palace. He nudged Matthew slightly with the hand that was in his pocket, and said "Come, let's go in."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** insert comment about tasty german sausage

15 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **insert standard reprimand  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Alfred Hero Jones **insert standard comeback  
14 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **insert standard anger  
12 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Francis Bonnefoy **insert standard comment on l'armour, offer on teaching all of you about it  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **insert standard insult, insert goodbye  
9 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Ludwig Beilschmidt **insert standard sigh  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Lovino Vargas **insert standard disdain  
4 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

* * *

They wandered through the palace, visiting all the regular tourist attractions. Gilbert would rattle off each awesome memory he had wherever they passed, nostalgia tinging his voice as he gestured greatly with his arms, earning curious glances from people around them especially those who caught fragments of his words. Meanwhile, Matthew dutifully took pictures of everything, occasionally sneaking one of his companion and tour guide.

Every now and then, Gilbert sneaked them off to a room or somewhere else where it was off-limits to tourists. Matthew had visited the palace before, but it was always only diplomatic and never so in depth. Surprisingly Gilbert didn't whisk him away to plaster his mouth all over him, but to actually reminisce to him. Not that they didn't sometimes take advantage of being alone, but for the most part it turned out to be pretty_ normal_, something that took both of them by slight surprise. Up until the part when Gilbert, walking through the crowd, talking about something impressive, no doubt, realized that the person who had been listening to him ardently was currently not by his side.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **wherefort art thou Matthew Williams

35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **Don't tell me you lost him already.  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt **I merely misplaced him  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Rodereich Edelstein **They can't count on you for anything, can they?  
27 minutes ago · Like

**********Peter Kirkland **now see if you invited me over instead i woulda made sure i wouldnt get lost  
26 minutes ago · Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **If you came over they'd lose you on purpose  
24 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Peter Kirkland **bitch  
22 minutes ago · Like

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt **you're just jealous because matt gets to go out with me and you don't  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**********Gilbert Beilschmidt **see even peter agrees  
18 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Arthur Kirkland **mildly disturbed  
12 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**********Rodereich Edelstein **I cannot even begin to imagine.  
9 minutes ago · Like

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: hey where you at_

___From: Matt  
Message: I actually have no clue at all_

_____From: Gil  
Message: way to run away from my awesomeness :(_

_______From: Matt  
Message: yeah I got lost on purpose. couldnt handle you._

_________From: Gil  
__________Message: haha fucking ha. k describe where you are. i'll come get you. or prepared to be lost forever._

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **takes a special skill to get lost to the point of it taking me 35 minutes to find them in a place i'm familiar with.

35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **5 people **like this

* * *

"I told you so."

"You said nothing."

"I clearly said that it was going to rain today, eh?"

Gilbert glared at Matthew. He couldn't really tell whether or not the blond was glaring back at him because of the raindrops clouding the wiry frames. The visitor's brochures they held above their heads weren't doing much to protect them from the rain that had started pouring as soon as they left the palace. Because they had come to the place by a combination of taxi and the subway (apparently Ludwig had 'accidentally' taken the keys to Gilbert's car as well), they had no car to hide out in and Gilbert was being slightly picky over which cafe to take shelter in, they were getting wet at a rapid rate.

"We don't need umbrellas. My awesome will shield us."

"It's doing just a _wonderful _job of that now, right?"

Gilbert took his soggy brochure and whacked Matthew up the head with it, causing the other man to yelp. His mouth fell into a frown and he turned his head away.

"Oh, c'mon, don't be mad." He put an arm around the other's waist and drew him closer, something he assumed he should have probably done earlier. "You were right, and I was slightly off by a tiny percent. There, I admitted it."

"A tiny percent." Matthew repeated, wondering why Gilbert wouldn't just pick an "awesome" enough cafe or shop or adult store or _something _to get them out of the rain.

"You aren't mad, are you?" Gilbert pressed a kiss on top of Matthew's soaked blond hair, just in case he was.

"No." Matthew sighed, snaking his own arm around Gilbert's midsection. "Just a bit uncomfortable. Where are we going anyways?"

"Favourite cafe." Gilbert replied, kissing Matthew's temple this time, then his damp cheek. "I hope you've been enjoying yourself."

"I was with your awesomeness. how could I not?" Matthew laughed, and Gilbert grinned. "But seriously, it's been really nice. Even with my familial unit invading and me getting sick. It's been nice."

"Awesome." Gilbert hummed in approval, and slid his hand down to Matthew's hip to rub circles into the wet fabric as they walked. "We should be there in five, sixish minutes."

"Yeah?" Matthew looked down at the ground as if contemplating something. Gilbert paid no attention until he saw a familiar pink tinge on the other's ears.

"Yo, you okay?"

"Um, yeah..." Matthew swallowed lightly then gave a nervous laugh. "Just you know, was wondering something..."

"Wondering what?"

"Promise you won't laugh."

"I'll try."

Matthew pressed his lips together, causing Gilbert to become more curious.

"Hey, Matt-"

"I think I've watched too many movies with Alfred but I was...I was wondering if you've ever wanted to...you know...akissintherainorsomething" Matthew rushed out.

Gilbert blinked.

"...Sorry, what?'

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: omg i'm getting out of the cafe with ludwig and theres these two people that kinda look like you down a few hundred meters. the one that looks like your special frend is laffing like a maniac and the other ones LOL he's like facepalming or some shit_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: ewww theyr're kisssssssssssssing now no technique_

___From: Alpha D.  
Message: ew_

_____From: Alpha D.  
Message: sweet statue of liberty_

___________From: Alpha D.  
Message: it's you_

_________________From: Alpha D.  
Message: ew my brother's making out in public_

___________________________________From: Alpha D.  
Message: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD ONE_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: NO TECHNIQUE_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: EVEN LUDWIG SAYS SO_

* * *

"There, happy?" Gilbert pulled away from Matthew, giving him a wink. Matthew nodded, and before he could say anything, Gilbert caught him in another kiss. As if in one of those cheesy romantic movies that Alfred secretly had a giant collection of, Matthew enjoyed the taste of the warm lips, the feeling of the short damp hair at the base of the other's neck running through his fingers, the rain hitting down on them...the rain...

The rain?

Huh. The rain seemed to die out pretty fast. Almost as if someone...

Matthew cracked open an eye to see that there was a huge black umbrella hovering over them.

_Ookay there._

He broke off the kiss, the move causing Gilbert to look slightly sullen, looking around his head to see where the hell that umbrella came from.

Sure enough, Ludwig was standing beside them, looking away with an embarrassed expression as he held the umbrella over their heads and coughed slightly into his black trench coat. A few feet in front of them was Alfred, taking a picture of the entire scene, a focused face looking at the screen of his cellphone.

Matthew felt himself turn extremely red at an extremely rapid pace, while Gilbert seemed to keep his composure and looked like he didn't really care.

"West!" he exclaimed, spinning around to his brother, arms open wide for a hug. Ludwig crinkled his nose at the sight of drenched man and took a step back. "You even brought an umbrella for me!"

"You're sick!" Ludwig reprimanded. "You're not supposed to be cavorting about! Especially not in this weather!"

"But I still am." Gilbert stuck his tongue out, then made a swipe for the umbrella. Ludwig held it just out of his reach, but Gilber managed to grab a hold of the handle anyways and yank it away, holding it over his head.

"Kesese, I can't believe you even _tried_ to stop me." For what seemed like the millionth time day, Gilbert got eyes rolled at him.

Alfred materialized by Ludwig's side, holding the umbrella over them both to shield them.

"Where are y'all heading too?" he asked.

"Some cafe nearby." Matthew said, gesturing with his head in a general direction. Alfred opened his mouth, ready to ask something but Matthew cut him off before he even began.

"I don't think that be a good idea, don't you still have some work left to finish with Ludwig?"

"Hey!" Alfred said indignantly. "I wasn't even gonna ask that-"

"And no, I don't think it'd be a good idea for Gilbert and I to tag along with you, since we've already got other plans."

"I-"

"Love you too, and see you back tonight at the house? Sure, that'd be great, maybe we can all come back in time to help Arthur and Francis to pack."

Gilbert and Ludwig gave Matthew rather impressed looks, while Alfred merely pouted.

"Whatever." He said, raising his palm up in Matthew's face. "I don't need you, you're a shitty hat anyways."

Matthew raised his opposite hand, slapping Alfred's and drawing him into a bro-hug, complete with the awkward patting of the back.

"Thanks Al, I knew you'd understand."

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** just got ditched by my own flesh and blood and secret 51st state Matthew Williams

48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Matthew Williams **11th province  
42 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **and for the record i didn't ditch you i wasn't out with you to begin with  
41 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **whatever, ultimate rule still applies, bros before  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **wait fuck  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **ahhhhhh  
35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **WHY IS EVERYONE GAY  
34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"And no one believes me when I tell them how addicted you really are." Matthew laughed, as he took another bite of the plum cake and watched Gilbert devour the large stack of pancakes that had been set in front of them. They weren't really a menu item, but apparently it was normal for Gilbert to just march in and demand them.

"Mmmf." Gilbert replied smartly, before washing down his recent mouthful with some coffee. "I pride myself on appreciating the finer things in life."

The duo were still wet, even after twenty minutes in shop, but the management had been kind enough to put plastic tarp on the leather seats of the booth they were in. The damp, cooled down clothing was still uncomfortable, even in the contrasting warmth, but the food they ordered was more than enough to make up for it.

"We're probably going to end up worse than we were in the morning, eh?" He said, looking out the rainy window. "Do you think they'll let us into a taxi like this?"

"They've let me in when I've been worse." Gilbert shrugged. "And it's not like a little rain can get us down."

"Too awesome?"

"We've fought like what, a trillion battles now? In much worse conditions." Gilbert punctuated the sentence with a suppressed sniffle. "Rain, no big deal."

"But you just-""

"Ah-ah." Gilbert held up a finger and wagged it in Matthew's face. "Do not argue with the awesome that is me. The failure that is you will just lose."

Matthew shook his head lightly and sighed. "Maybe we're getting old."

"Maybe you are." Gilbert pointed his fork towards Matthew. "But I most definitely am not."

"Are you sure? Because I'm sure that I can see a wrinkle here..." Matthew leaned across the table to poke right at the corner of Gilbert's eye.

"Hey!" Gilbert protested, pushing the hand away.

"And there..." Matthew prodded the corner of his mouth, and again got a "Hey!"

This continued for a little while, until Gilbert had enough and flung a bit of pancake, hitting the bridge of Matthew's nose and effectively getting him to stop.

"Stop calling me old." Gilbert stuck his tongue out.

"You _are_ old."

"At least I'm not invisible."

Matthew pulled a shocked face, even though years of poking fun of his own semi-invisibility with Gilbert made him unable to get offended.

"Well at least _I'm _not a basement dweller."

Gilbert's lips turned downwards and he pouted.

"You wound me," he said with a tone of mock-offense. "I live on the _upper floor_, alright?"

"And you still live with your brother."

"Have you _seen_ what happens when I'm not around?" Gilbert scoffed, reaching forward to fork some of Matthew's cake. "He goes into this funk where all he does is clean, and be really nice to people, and fucking _smile_..."

"Oh God, that sounds _horrible_, how could he?"

Gilbert opened his mouth to say something more, but his eyes went slightly wide. He motioned quickly and Matthew handed him a paper napkin. There was a moment of silence, before Gilbert sneezed loud enough into the tissue to make not only Matthew, but the few people seated around them, jump a little in their seats. Gilbert sneezed again, then once more.

"Are you okay?" Matthew asked, voice concerned.

"Ye-No." Gilbert sneezed again, and Matthew winced.

"Disgusting." Gilbert commented, as he examined the slightly damp tissue. "Fuck, does this mean I'm not getting laid tonight? Not awesome."

"You're disgusting." Matthew replied, throwing another napkin at him.

"You can't blame me for prioritizing." Gilbert replied, earning an exasperated sigh from the other man. "Anyways, I think we need to head back now before I...I...ohfuckherewegoagain."

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** it's okay, staying out all day long is for losers anyways

35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Matthew Williams **likes this

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** no subject (ATT)

heeeheeeheee

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE: no subject

what is this i don't even

you are so creepy

why are you so creepy

why are you taking pictures of me kissing

why are you sending to me

can we not

-Matt

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** RE:RE:no subject

U MAD?

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

* * *

"I'm not sick." Gilbert grumbled, spooning more soup into his mouth. "This is just some fucking amazing soup."

Matthew added his own polite thank you and Feliciano beamed at the compliments, while Ludwig sat beside his brother at the dining table with an exasperated expression.

"If you were going to go out, you should have at least checked the weather and dressed appropriately."

"I'm not like you, I'm not..." Gilbert looked at his soup, then up to his brother.

"You're not healthy like me, yes."

Matthew and Gilbert had come a good five to ten minutes earlier than Ludwig and Alfred had. Feliciano, Francis, and Arthur had spent the day cooking, with a wonderful dinner prepared and a half-decent desert courtesy of Arthur, who had reassured everyone that _no_ it wasn't poisonous, and yes, Feliciano, who had been the brave taste-tester, could attest to that.

"What ever, _mom_."

Ludwig sighed, while passing the large bowl of chicken tetrazzini to Alfred, who was devouring his fourth plateful.

"So when are you leaving?" Matthew asked both Arthur and Francis, since he had has his seat placed in between them.

"In a couple of hours." Francis replied, then wriggled his eyebrows."Why, do you want us to leave _earlier_?"

Turning slightly pink, Matthew directed his next question to Arthur instead.

"Are you sure you can't stay a bit longer? Or are you leaving because of work?"

"Well, I'm quite sure we've overstayed our welcome here, lad. Some," at this he gave a pointed glare at Alfred, who had managed to pick up a somewhat decent conversation with Gilbert about food and didn't notice. "More than others."

"Oh..." Matthew gave a little laugh. "Yeah, eh?"

"Do you want us to drop you to the airport?" Gilbert piped up through another mouthful of soup.

"You're sick, you shouldn't worry yourself. Or, at the least, you shouldn't be driving in such a state."

"So?" Gilbert shrugged. "Don't you want your lovely man-children to say their tearful goodbyes to you?"

"Ew, I have to make a visit to both France _and_ England within this month, I don't need to say goodbye to anyone." Alfred said, and was ignored for the most part.

"How about one of you two can drive there?" Matthew suggested. "And I'll drive us back, alright? Since I'm sort of better off."

Ludwig seemed to contemplate this for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, sounds good."

"You know," Alfred said, a bit louder. "Maybe I should come to say goodbye. And provide you with some heroic presence on the way there and back."

"It's okay, Al, you don't-"

"Fine, it's settled then." Alfred beamed. "Mini road trip!"

As Alfred did a little victory head bop, earning laughter from Feliciano, Matthew wondered with an amused smile if maybe having Alfred on the trip did help move things along in his own special way.

Because lord knows, if Alfred hadn't tried to butt repeatedly, they probably wouldn't have moved as fast.

And underneath all that piss-off-your-brother persona, Matthew was pretty sure that Alfred actually _knew_ what he was doing.

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: your bro is stupid_

_From:  
Message: aww don't be mean he actually likes sitting in the middle of the backseat_

_From: Gil  
Message: stupidest thing i've ever heard. he's in betweeeen us_

_From: Gil  
Message: and tell him to stop reading my texts over my shoulder_

_From: Gil  
Message: that's right burger bastard i was tlking to you_

_From: Gil  
__Message: don't give me that look, you called me a maple bitch the other day _

_From: Gil  
Message: why are you so stupid _

_From: Gil  
Message: if i wanted my come back i'd wipe it off your dad's face_

_From: Gil  
Message: WAIT I ALREADY HAVE. OFF BOTH OF THEM_

_From: Gil  
Message: fuck off i did not get that from the internet_

_From: Gil  
Message: srry about all the texts btw, matt_

* * *

"Though you have disappointed me with your lack of ability to be romantic," Francis said solemnly, placing his hand on Gilbert's shoulder. "I'm still happy you two got somewhere."

They were standing near the check-in counter, exchanging farewells. Alfred had gotten temporarily distracted by a person with a heavy southern accent, leaving the group to go surprise the stranger with precise knowledge about his home town (not that he considered it creepy or anything).

"Uh, alright..." Gilbert stood there, not quite sure what to say to that. He looked to Matthew for help, but he was laughing with Arthur over something so he looked back to Francis. "Thanks?"

They stood in silence for a few moments, till Gilbert grew slightly uncomfortable.

"Anything...else?" He asked, and Francis gave a rich chuckle, sliding his hand from on top of Gilbert's shoulder down his back.

"Oh, is there anything left to say?" The hand had made it down to Gilbert's lower back and Gilbert stepped back.

"No, I just thought I'd receive the standard threat to not hurt Matthew or whatever...you know...yo, your hand."

"Hmm?" Francis' hand was hovering dangerously over Gilbert's behind, and the silver-haired man was suddenly under the impression that it was them that Arthur and Matthew were laughing at. "Oh no, that's Alfred's job. At least, until he grows tired of bothering you two and moves on to someone else. However-"

"Don't squeeze my ass in public, you're not allowed to do that anym-"

"-_however,_ if you ever need help giving Matthew a little nudge in a certain direction after you two have recovered, do not be afraid to call me."

"...I'm sure we'll miss you, Francis."

Francis' hand went back to Gilbert's shoulder, and he squeezed it.

"Good luck, my friend." He chirped in French, and Gilbert scoffed, saying something about how he was too awesome for luck. He called out to Arthur, and they all exchanged the standard goodbye hugs as Alfred rejoined them, Gilbert keeping a safe distance in between him and Francis during theirs.

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: So, when we get home... ;)_

_From: Matt  
Message: I'll take the couch and you can sleep in the bed_

_From: Gil  
Message: :(_

_From: Gil  
__Message: but we're both sick, so does it really matter_

_From: Matt  
Message: Okay fine  
_

_From: Gil  
__Message: :)_

_From: Matt  
Message: I'll share the bed with you. otherwise Al's gonna creep me on the couch_

_From: Matt  
Message: I know what you're thinking and the answer is no_

_From: Gil  
Message: unawesome killjoy_

_From: Matt  
Message: ...when we get better, eh?_

_From: Gil  
__Message: :D_

* * *

smd= suck my dick

S. 'Chelles= Seychelles cus i am uncreative

Reviews are really appreciated :D


	10. Day Nine

**Day Nine**

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: Hello, his Awesomeness would like to order room service for both him and his companion, who are currently bed-ridden due to (unawesome) circumstances._

_From: Ludwig  
Message: You're that sick?_

_From: Gil  
Message: Cereal for his Awesomeness and toast and eggs for the other and an orange for Sir Matthew, for he is slightly worse off than his Awesomeness is_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: ..._

_From: Gil  
Message: And they also request some cold medicine, for their noses seem to run too fast to catch_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: stop_

_From: Gil  
Message: And the fair sires offer to tip if room service is speedy_

* * *

Ludwig gave the phone a stern glare, before sighing and setting it down on the counter. Gilbert was so reckless and now he had to take care of him...then again, Gilbert had been through more than a fair share of battles so this was practically nothing, so maybe Ludwig could skip out on taking care of him and make him wait it out.

Then again, he got their guest sick too, and it would be impolite to not take care of the man. Canada...Matthew _had_ been polite all the way through so far, so Ludwig figured he could at least make breakfast for him. Knowing Gilbert, Matthew was probably being held back by him and forced to sit and wait for Ludwig to bring them food.

"Can I use that?" A voice piped up from beside him, and snapped him back to reality. He looked down at the jug of orange juice he had been holding while texting, and then to the person beside him.

"Sure." He handed the jug to Alfred, who had one of those big green plastic kiddie cups Ludwig had gotten when Sealand decided to visit for a few days. "Hey, Alfred...?"

"Mmm?" Alfred hummed, drinking the orange juice which he had poured out rather fast.

"What would your brother want for breakfast?"

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: guess what_

_From: Gil  
Message: What_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: i heard youre sick, so i get to play nurse ;)_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: lud's not happy with you getting sick. so guess who gets to take care of you :D and by u i mean you specificaly not matt as well cuz lud's got him covered_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: and also cus matt never appreciates my heroism neways _

_From: Gil  
Message: ...what_

___From: Alpha D.  
Message: it'll be like bonding time for us :D_

* * *

"Ahh," Gilbert said, sounding satisfied. "We have been joined by the commoner."

Ludwig gave an unimpressed look as he toed open the door with a plastic tray in his hands. Gilbert and Matthew were propped up against the headboard of Gilbert's bed, wrapped in blankets. A box of tissues sat in between them, running on almost empty.

"Gilbert! Be nice to you brother!"

"Are you kidding me? He took a whole fifteen minutes to come up!"

Ludwig walked over to Matthew's side of the bed, setting the tray down carefully on his lap. There was a plate of omelet and toast, a mug of coffee and an orange. As Matthew smiled and gave his thanks, taking the orange and starting to peel it, Gilbert peered at the tray, and noted that there was only one plate.

"Hey, what about mine?"

"What about your what?"

"What?" Gilbert glared at his brother. "What do you mean what about my what? What about _my_ breakfast?

"What _about _your breakfast?" Ludwig swatted away one of Gilbert's hands that was inching towards the toast.

"Fine." Gilbert huffed. "Don't take care of me. I don't need you anyways."

At that moment, a fourth person joined them, in the form of a still sleep ridden Alfred, who was holding a box of cereal in one hand and had a orange plastic bowl dangling from the other. The arm with the cereal was pressed against his chest, holding in place a small carton of milk.

"Brought you breakfast." He announced as he, in an attempt to lessen his load, tossed the bowl across the room in the direction of the two sicklies, hopes high that _someone _would catch it. Gilbert attempted, but the bowl ended up hitting him in the face Alfred tried to stifle- no, he just laughed.

"West already got breakfast for Matt." Gilbert grumbled, rubbing his nose which had to take the brunt of the blow.

"Yeah, I know." Alfred beamed. "This is _your_ food."

Gilbert blinked, looking into the empty bowl then up to Alfred who had made it to his side of his bed with the milk in one hand, the cereal in another, and one big beaming smile. He tipped the box into the bow, pouring out cereal till it overflowed in the bowl.

"You weren't lying when you texted me, were you?"

* * *

**Francis Bonnefoy **to **Gilbert Beilschmidt **check your inbox

25 minutes ago · Like · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

* * *

Between **Francis Bonnefoy **and **You**

**Francis Bonnefoy **July 13th at 08:47

I forgot something at your place, and I was wondering if you could mail it back to me.

Sent via Mobile Web

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **July 13th at 8:48

Yeah sure

Sent via Mobile Web

**Francis Bonnefoy **July 13th at 08:53

Please keep the contents discreet, I'd rather not anyone find out about it. And if possible, use our exclusive mail? So it gets to me in time for Bastille day?

Sent via Mobile Web

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Francis Bonnefoy **found your boner pills LOL

16 minutes ago · Like · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall · **13 people **like this

* * *

Between **Francis Bonnefoy **and **You**

**Francis Bonnefoy **July 13th at 08:59

...never mind

Sent via Mobile Web

* * *

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Feliciano and I have to go out today, by the way. _

_From: Gil  
Message: why are you texting me. your in the same room as me._

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Alfred has offered to stay back and take care of you and Matthew _

_From: Gil  
Message: and you say i have some weird addiction to my phone. srsly dude your sitting on my bed rught across from me_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Your mouth is filled with food. I don't want you to talk._

_From: Gil  
Message: screw you_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones ** gets to spend the day with Gilbert Beilschmidt and Matthew Williams. Whos excited :D

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Lovino Vargas **I'm sure they're jumping in joy  
A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"If only we brought our rain jackets..." Matthew sighed and sniffled as Alfred poured out ancient cold medicine on the spoon (Gilbert insisted that the older, the stronger, the better) for the two of them.

"You sound like my brother." Gilbert snorted, wiping his nose on the tissue. "This stuff better do good."

"What are we gonna do today?" Alfred asked, rather enthusiastically. Matthew eyed his cheery brother warily, wondering what Alfred had up his sleeve.

"Sleep." Gilbert grumbled. "I feel like shit and this stuff knocks you out."

"What? What about me?" Alfred pouted.

"I don't know." Gilbert shrugged. "Watch a movie. When we wake up, we'll go somewhere."

"Alright."

"Without you."

"Hey!"

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: dude it's like 12, why are you still in bed i'm getting bored watching TV downstairs_

_From: Matt  
Message: cus we're fucking_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Give my brother back his phone. AND isnt there anything like exciting to do here?_

_From: Matt  
Message: no. and you offered to stay back and take care_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Yeah but you guys rnt even asking for anything! its boring! your boring!_

_From: Matt  
Message: k fine calm yer tits son. go check the key rack near the door and see if a set of keys is there. its got a beermug keychain on it_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: k_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: yeah they're there._

_From: Matt  
Message: K cool we're going out_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: :D  
_

_From: Matt  
Message: not with youu _

___From: Alpha D.  
Message: :(_

_______From: Alpha D.  
Message: :(_

___________From: Alpha D.  
Message: :(_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** shotgun, world's best chaffeur Gilbert Beilschmidt + blasting (american) music LIKE A BAWS

A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

"Hey, be careful." Gilbert said, catching a tomato that fell out of Alfred's burger, causing the car to swerve slightly. "I happen to like the upholstery in this car!"

"You sound like an old man." Alfred giggled (yes, big men like him were allowed to giggle) as he took another bite out of his burger. He had pestered Gilbert into pulling over by a McDonald's, because the trio had left the house without lunch.

Earlier on, Gilbert and Matthew had changed out of their pyjamas and trudged downstairs. Alfred, who had been bored watching football (and not the proper, American kind either, just soccer stuff), was hyper, and kept on insisting they go somewhere totally cool and amazing.

Surprisingly, Gilbert didn't put up much of a fight, and let Alfred tag along. Matthew questioned him, and Gilbert shrugged and said the best way to not have Alfred interfere was to just include him. Matthew, for once, agreed with his (awesome, infallible) logic. So, without really knowing where they would be going, the three of them piled into Gilbert's car.

"How about we go to that place you took me to a few days ago?" Matthew suggested from the backseat. "The place by the lake?"

"You took him somewhere by a lake?" Alfred cooed, slurping up some of his soft drink. "How_ romantic_. I bet you guys had a _picnic _and everything."

The two didn't reply, and Alfred saw Gilbert press his lips together.

"Oh god, you _did,_ didn't you?"

No reply.

"Aw, underneath all that evil albino, you _are _a softy! Maybe that's why Matt wants to get in your pants!"

"_Al!"_

* * *

******Alfred Hero Jones **posted a picture via Mobile Web  
55 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

******Alfred Hero Jones **tagged **Gilbert Beilschmidt **in a picture.**  
**55 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like· **Feliciano Vargas** and****** Francis Bonnefoy **like this

**Feliciano Vargas **ahh you guys are so lucky, you get to go on a road trip :D  
54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Elizabeta Héderváry** are you sure it's safe letting him drive?  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Ludwig Beilschmidt** I thought he was still sick?  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones** he is :)  
47 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"This place is totally bitchin'!" Alfred exclaimed, face pressed against the window as Gilbert pulled over to the shoulder of the road.

"I know, I know." Gilbert said flippantly, but his eyes slightly lighted up at seeing the familiar place. "Too bad we didn't bring any food this time."

"Of course we did." Alfred shook the huge take-out bag they had gotten from McDonald's. "You think I wouldn't save you guys anything?"

"No, not really." Gilbert replied, to which Alfred called him a douchebag. He craned his neck back to say something to Matthew, only to find that his brother had dozed off in the back seat, head being held up by an arm propped up against the car door.

"Yo, Matthew!" Alfred called out, but Matthew didn't stir. "Ew, what a kill joy. When did he go to sleep?"

"Some time ago, idiot. He said he was going to sleep."

Alfred stared at his brother. "Oh yeah! I totally forgot. How are we gonna get him out?"

"Uh..." This time, Gilbert turned his head to look at Matthew as well. "How deep is he sleeping?"

"I don't know." Alfred shrugged. "Oh, I know. Yo, Matt! Guess what? I let you win the Olympics on purpose!"

Seeing Gilbert's slightly shocked "Are you asking to get killed?" face, Alfred added, "Oh, if anything wakes him up, it'd be that."

Matthew was still softly snoring away, confirming he was in deep sleep.

"I guess we'll have to carry him out." Alfred said, and Gilbert nodded. "You keep the door open, I'll drag him out."

"No, I'll take him out."

"Uh, I'm the hero brother."

"I'm the awesome lover!"

"You guys haven't even had sex!"

"..."

"Exactly."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and sighed, giving Alfred the finger before they both stepped out of the car.

* * *

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Why are you out? Aren't you sick? _

_From: Gil  
Message: cus I do what i want, thats why. (and i took that evil cold medicine and i feel like a whole new man~)_

_From: Gil  
Message: now brb, gotta move the second largest nation in the world out from my backseat._

* * *

"Alright, on a count of three." Gilbert said, and Alfred nodded, standing ready by the car door. "1...2...3."

Gilbert opened the car door, and Matthew toppled out. Alfred caught him under his arms, and started to drag him out.

"Holy crap, he's so heavy." Alfred gritted under the dead weight, and Gilbert grabbed Matthew's legs as they slid out, preventing them from thudding onto the dirt.

"Yeah, told you." He ground out, as he shut the door with his foot. He tucked the legs under one arm, quickly taking his keys out and automatically locking the car before using both hands again. "Alright, there's a small dirt clearing a hundred meters away, near the lake. That's where we'll carry him, alright?"

Alfred nodded, and Gilbert, noting the strain on the blond's face, moved his hands under Matthew's upper thighs to support more weight.

"Hey, don't grope my brother!"

"Shut up and move!"

They started to shuffle Matthew to the dirt clearing where he and Gilbert had chilled at the last time they had visited.

About twenty meters in, Matthew woke up, slightly confused as to why exactly he was being carried through tall grass by his brother and Gilbert. He didn't say a word, just watched the two struggle as they carried him. Alfred's forearms were killing his armpits, while he was pretty sure that Gilbert was trying to feel him up while carrying him.

After a minute of watching them struggle and realizing that they wouldn't know he's awake, Matthew cleared his throat.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Holy sh-"

Which was a bad idea on Matthew's part, because he ended up startling both Alfred and Gilbert, causing them to drop him. He landed on the ground with a resounding thud, his vision going spotted for a second. He blinked once, then twice, then suddenly two extremely concerned faces were hovering above him.

"Holy shit, Matt! Are you okay?" Alfred asked, eyes wide.

Matthew raised an arm weakly to give a thumbs up before flopping it down to the ground. He felt fingers start to circle the skin on his forehead, as Gilbert started to massage it.

"This is your fault." Gilbert said, glaring at Alfred. "Carrying him was _such_ a smart idea."

"You agreed with it!" Alfred protested. "It's not my fault you're weak."

"Guys..." Matthew tried, and was ignored.

"What? Who dropped him first?"

"Guys?"

"I was surprised, okay!"

"What if he cracked his head open! What if he lost a significant amount of brain cells!"

"He already has if he's lusting after you!"

"Guys!" Matthew lifted his head up. "I'm okay!"

Blue and red eyes looked down on him momentarily, before the owners looked back at each other and continued to bicker. Matthew sighed and sat up, rubbing the back of his head, shaking some dirt out. There was not a lot of pain left, so he took his chances standing up. He wobbled a bit, but seemed to be alright. He could see the dirt clearing from where he was, and because Gilbert and Alfred seemed like they wouldn't be joining him any time soon, he started walking on his own.

* * *

_From: Matt  
Message: Any time you two are done_

_From: Gil  
Message: We have come to a decision _

_From: Matt  
Message: Sorry what? _

_From: Gil  
Message: We're going to settle this like men_

_From: Matt  
Message: settle what?_

_From: Matt  
Message: Hey, where are you guys going?_

_From: Matt  
Message: wait up! don't leave me behind!_

* * *

"Guys!" Matthew huffed, jogging after the two. The two were headed towards the forest lining the outside of the lake, both yelling indiscernible things to each other. They disappeared into the trees, and Matthew was pretty sure he could hear Gilbert's maniacal laughter.

"Guys, don't leave me behind!" He yelled a bit louder, and heard a faint "Then keep up!"

Cursing both of them, he broke into a sprint and followed them into the woods.

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** hammer space + forest = epic swordfight like the good old days and teaching Alfred Hero Jones how to fight like a man

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Arthur Kirkland**, **Antonio F.C** and **Francis Bonnefoy** like this

* * *

"It's the only way." Gilbert said solemnly, and Alfred nodded.

"Only way for what?" Matthew exclaimed, waving his hands between the two. He had finally caught up to the two, and had found them in a thinned out area of the forest, standing on the log of a large, fallen tree. Both, much to Matthew's horror, were brandishing a_ real live sword where the hell did Gilbert get those _and had similar, idiotic grins.

"You see," Alfred explained in the gravest tone he could muster. "We have come to an agreement about a pressing concern. It seems that we, while other times armorous-"

"The word's _amiable_, you doof-"

"-Hey, don't interrupt the hero! _Anyways,_ while we at other times are amiable, we seem to always end up in a slight argument over you."

"So?"

"So, we've decided to settle this the bad ass, totally awesome way." Gilbert flourished the sword he was holding, causing Matthew to flinch. "We're going to have a duel. Winner wins..."

There was a silent pause, where Alfred and Gilbert exchanged glances.

"Shit, what does the winner win?"

"Uh..." Alfred glanced around in thought, then his eyes landed on his brother. "Oh yeah! Winner gets the damsel. Or at least, loser is forced to never ever bother the winner again about the damsel."

"Dude, I'm not a princess!"

"For the sake of this, you are." Gilbert pointed his sword down at Matthew, who took a big step back from the log and the still sharp blade in his face. "Apparently us owning him in basketball wasn't enough. So we're fighting till the first draw of blood."

Matthew blinked, stared, while the other two looked down expectantly at him.

"Alright, fine." He sighed, and a look of slight shock crossed both their faces. "Al, give me your bomber jacket. I know you're going to cry if it gets ruined."

"Wait, what?" Alfred asked, voice with a hint of slight incredulity as he shrugged off the brown jacket and tossed it towards his brother. "No protests?"

"Whatever." Matthew said simply, catching the jacket. "You guys will do it anyways. Gilbert, throw me your keys or you'll lose them."

"Peacekeeping nation, my ass." Gilbert snorted as he fished out his keys and threw them.

"I can't help it if you idiots choose to hurt yourselves. Give me your phones as well, I don't want them to break."

"You're supposed to be against this!" Alfred said, adopting Gilbert's bad habit of waving the sword while he talked. "We thought you were going to beg and cry for us not to hurt each other, and then we'd forgive each other for the sake of your happiness."

"Dude, you're not supposed to reveal so much!" Gilbert hissed, and Matthew gave them both a blank look.

"Alright, I'll pretend I didn't hear that-"

"Good, because we aren't that prepared to fight anyways, even though I'm heroic so I'm automatically-"

"And stand here filming silently while you guys fight."

"What!"

But Matthew had already turned on the camera on his phone.

"Come on guys. Don't disappoint this damsel."

* * *

******Matthew Williams **posted a video via Mobile Web  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like · **34 people **like this

**Matthew Williams **(they had to fight till the first draw of blood)  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Peter Kirkland **SUUUUCKASSSS  
3 hours ago · Like

**Edward von Bock **pwned. both of you.  
3 hours ago · Like

**Ivan Braginski **this pleases me greatly. All thirteen minutes and twenty eight seconds of it.  
3 hours ago · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **as does your degradation in swordsmanship, gilbert.  
3 hours ago · Like

**Peter Kirkland **AND ALFREDS EPIC FAIL LOL  
3 hours ago · Like

**Lars V. **I knew I could count on you two to make amends  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Lovino Vargas **my favourite part is when he sets his camera up against a tree so he can join you guys and you refuse to let him  
3 hours ago · Like

**Lars V. **and he wheedles Gilbert into giving him a sword anyways  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lovino Vargas **and then owns them both.  
3 hours ago · Like

**Lars V. **hard.  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **this does not surprise me. neither does the half way through when alfred jams the sword into the tree, which I hope was only done by mistake.  
2 hours ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **I just think that's bad parenting/sibling skills on your part  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Arthur Kirkland **as if you were any good at these things  
2 hours ago · Like

******Feliks ****Łukasiewicz **LOL! Omg! this is like the best thing i've ever seen! Gilbert and Alfred like totally suck at this! They didn't even draw blood!  
2 hours ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **My fav part is where Matt corners them both and cuts them on the cheek :) I bet I know who tops!  
2 hours ago · Like

**Antonio F.C **this reminds me of the good old days :D  
2 hours ago · Like

**Lovino Vargas **only you would think of this as the "good old days" stupid  
2 hours ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **oh no! this was funny but looked painful! and ludwig says he's not too happy about this  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Wang Yao **hmm, Gilbert's sword wouldn't have broken near the end if I had made it.  
2 hours ago · Like

**Im Yong Soo **everyone knows all the good swords originate from korea  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lovino Vargas **hahaha it wouldnt matter. they'd get fucking destroyed either ways. did you see how they fell off the tree in like 15 seconds?  
1 hour ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **all of you need to sit your ass down and shut up  
1 hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **^+1  
1 hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **Aww, did your feelings get hurt?  
1 hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **k no we *let* you win so you wouldn't cry  
56 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

**Matthew Williams **you keep telling yourself that  
54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"Don't be sad, guys." Matthew positively beamed from the backseat, and the two remained silent. "Fair game, eh?"

"Screw you." Alfred muttered, and continued to stare out the window with a frown and the comfort burger they picked up on the way back. They still had a good twenty minutes before they reached back home, and both Gilbert and Alfred were in a sour mood. They both sported identical nicks on their right cheeks, inflicted on them by the "damsel" and they were none too happy about both of them losing. Both of them had refused to speak more than a couple of words to Matthew.

"You guys started it."

"Screw you." Gilbert repeated, and Matthew, who in a combination of still being on an adrenaline high and sitting right behind Gilbert, leaned forward to the drivers seat and whispered "When we get back, eh?"

Gilbert gripped the steering wheel just a bit tighter, while Alfred looked on in disgust.

"I _heard_ that, y'know."

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message:know any good barns nearby?_

_From Ludwig  
Message: Barns?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Bars ** srry_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Yeah, a couple...tell Gilbert he shouldn't be drinking if he's sick_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Oh no, im going to go by myself. i dont want 2 be in the house tonite_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: Why not?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: ur bro + my bro_

_From: Ludwig  
Message: I think Feliciano and I will join you as well_

* * *

"When we get back to North America, you owe me." Alfred announced, as he checked his (total babe-magnet) hair in a mirror hung up in the lobby. He had washed up after they came home, putting on a fresh pair of clothes and was debating whether or not to bring his bomber jacket as well.

It had gotten kind of dirty from the fight (that they have all agreed to never speak of again, with the exception of Matthew who probably won't stop rubbing it in his face) and Alfred doubted it would be attractive if it smelt like mud and wood. And if he didn't find people at the bar to distract him, other than Ludwig and Feliciano, he would have to come home early and maybe walk in on...

...he shuddered. As much as he teased Matthew about getting laid and suggesting he try porn, seeing his brother engage in any form of sexual act was low on his to-do list. And he saw what happened in the car, and their looks, and for once could actually read the atmosphere without using a book, so he knew it would be in the best interests of his sanity to ditch.

"Of course." Matthew replied, straightening out Alfred's messy blond hair. As much as he hated to say it aloud, Matthew admitted he had certain mother-like qualities. However, last time Gilbert and Alfred called him their bitch (during the Fight That Must Not Be Spoken Of), Matthew had kindly demonstrated to them why he wasn't (quite) their bitch. "I'll take you to your favourite, greasy, run down diner for a treat."

"It better be American."

"It will." Matthew assured, spitting on his hand then slicking back some of Alfred's hair. "You're all pretty and ready now."

"You sound excited to get rid of me."

"Because we are." Gilbert said, materializing out of nowhere and slapping Alfred on the back. "You need a social life not dependent on your brother."

"Could see the same for you." Alfred stuck his tongue out, and Gilbert mirrored the action. Matthew rolled his eyes and a car honked outside. "Oh, looks like my ride's here."

"Better not keep them waiting." Gilbert said with an almost smug expression, and Alfred narrowed his eyes.

"Yo, Matt, if he does something completely stupid, call me and I'll come save you."

"I'll remember that. Now hurry, I'm sure Ludwig and Feliciano don't want to be kept too long."

"Wipe that smile off your face, Matt. I know you're finally getting laid and everything, but _dude._"

"_Alfred_!"

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: its been five minutes since i left so hopefully ur not doin the nastyyet. cus i was just wondering if hes still a bit sick andur still a bit sick woulnt you guys get sicker?_

_From: Gil  
Message: No man, we're gonna have dinner first ;) ...and its cool, if we're both sick then we cnt get eachother sick cus we're already sick...yeah._

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: ewwww what if one of u coughs up phlegm during a blowjob or somethin tho_

_From: Gil  
Message: your not allowed to text me or matt for the rest of the night _

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** Ludwig Beilschmidt + Feliciano Vargas + bar

16 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **tell west to stop putting things on my tab. he's a big boy now  
15 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **too late  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you did that on purpose, didn't you.  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

"Excited?" Matthew asked, out of breath and slightly amused as he was leaned against the wall by the doorway, earning a grin.

"Fuck yeah." Gilbert muttered, toeing the door shut, and Matthew chuckled. "Finally. Even your brother is gone."

"I know, eh?" Matthew said, fingers twining through the other's hair, pulling him in. His phone started to buzz in his pocket, but he ignored it in favour of a kiss. Around the time that Gilbert's tongue found its way into Matthew's mouth, the generic ringtone started playing loudly.

"I wonder who that is..." Matthew said quietly, as they broke apart.

"Who cares? Don't answer." Gilbert insisted, biting at Matthew's earlobe. "We're busy."

"That's true..." Matthew murmured, placing his hands on Gilbert's hips and aiming a peck at his neck. "There's no point, eh?

Gilbert hummed in agreement, kissing along Matthew's jaw line, while slightly scratching his fingers over the fabric covering the man's ribcage.

Who ever was on the other end of the line sure was persistent as hell, because a minute or so later, the phone kept on ringing.

"Can't you turn that stupid thing off?"

"Yeah, give me a second." Matthew reached down to his pocket, and fumbled for his phone. When he drew it out, he gave a quick glance to the screen to see who was calling so much, out of curiosity. His eyes bugged out as he saw the caller ID.

"Shit shit shit!" He pushed Gilbert off as the phone just stopped ringing.

"Woah, who is it?" Gilbert asked, looking disgruntled at being shoved away as Matthew had already started to dial back the number. Matthew mouthed the word "the boss" and Gilbert huffed and leaned his forehead against Matthew's.

"Great timing."

Matthew pressed a finger to Gilbert's lips, silencing him as the person on the other end picked up.

"Hello!" Matthew chirped into the phone, the polite voice sounding forced. "I'm sorry I missed your call- ah, I know, I should have picked up earlier, I was just a bit busy... no I wasn't ignoring you I was in the shower...no, I'm not out of breath...my voice sounds more airy than usual? Thanks for the concern sir...first flight back home? Why?"

Gilbert let out a loud groan and craned his head to the side to thump it repeatedly against the wall.

"What was what? I didn't hear anything..." Matthew shot a glare at Gilbert. "But sir, why do I have to head back? A crisis involving my polar bear? Oh no, is Kumarooma alright? Oh good... he's being a pest? Wait, he brought _what_ into Parliament Hill? No sir, I didn't know... No, I would never do something like that on purpose... Yes, I'll book a flight immediately..."

"Immediately?" Gilbert hissed. "Why?"

"Uh, give me a second sir..." Matthew covered the mic of his phone.

"Apparently Kumakuma has gotten into some kind of trouble." He whispered. "And apparently I need to head home immediately. Or atleast as soon as possible."

"The fuck? Can't you get Quebec to handle it or something?"'

"No, apparently everyone's too weirded out to know what to do, so _I_ need to go."

"Damn it..." Gilbert looked to the ceiling, and pursed his lips, thinking. "Uhm, tell your boss...tell him the earliest flight you can get is...tomorrow night."

"I can't just lie to him!"

"But I can." Gilbert tried to grab the phone from Matthew, but the blond held it away.

"Fine, I'll tell him."

Matthew uncovered the mic on the phone, and started to speak again.

"Hello? Yeah, sorry that took long...I just asked Lud- uh, Germany, and he said that the earliest flight I could get is tomorrow night...no I can't just take a private jet, that's not environmentally friendly...Well, I haven't been personally affected but it can't be _that_ bad... Oh, it is that bad... but it's okay if I leave tomorrow night? You'll be able to handle it until then? Sorry sir for the inconvenience... you take care too, sir. No, I won't forget...no I'll make sure the airline doesn't forget me either, I'm not _that_ invisible...Yes, I _know _England makes quick flights to America just to hit him...Yes sir, I know I need to be more assertive that way, I'm working on that...Alright sir, good bye."

Matthew hung up, then let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever..." Gilbert kissed his neck, hands trailing downwards. "Let's make the most of it."

"Yeah...but, um..."

Gilbert sighed, pulling back. "What now?"

"I need to book a flight first...then call the house keeper and let them know I'm coming back early... and I need to arrange for someone to take me to Parliament Hill right after. I need to e-mail my provinces to let them know I'm coming back early... and call my secretary too, because he took the same amount of time off."

"And let me guess. You need to do that right now."

"Sorry?" Matthew gave him an apologetic smile, and Gilbert didn't bother hiding the frustration across his face.

"Fine. Go ahead."

Matthew leaned in to give Gilbert a peck on the lips, earning a more disgruntled expression. He tried again, this time deepening the kiss as somewhat of an apology and letting Gilbert bite at his lip a bit before letting go.

"Thanks, Gil."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." He sighed, then reached up to ruffle Matthew's hair. "I'm going to get ready to go to bed then, okay? "

"Alright..."

Gilbert stalked off to the washroom, and Matthew watched with a slightly disappointed expression.

Why did his polar bear get into trouble? When he got home, he'd have to have a strong talk with Kuma...

Kuma...

Dammit, what was his name?

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Matthew Williams (凸ಠ_ಠ)凸

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **so we can come home early?  
A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

two more two more two more!

as for who's Canada's boss in this fic? I'll keep it ambiguous because I have an array of potentially offensive political jokes (for either side) that will seep in if I get specifics

far as I know, Quebec's been the only province so far with a separate entity? I remember reading a strip with a vague doodle of him, so I just randomly chose him.

and idk how to arrange China's name, so i did it in the eastern order. which i shoulda done for Japan too but whatever

reviews are really appreciated :D


	11. Day Ten and Departure

God my mind is all over the place nowadays. Sorry if I shoot you in the face with fluff in this chapter. The next one will be plenty weird enough.

* * *

**Day Ten/Departure**

* * *

"Then maybe they'd be in this room, right?" Alfred asked, dull headache making it too hard for him to remember which was Matthew's original guest room (not his fault the house was frickin' _huge_), and Feliciano nodded. The door was slightly open, and Feliciano knocked lightly.

Alfred had woken up with a killer hangover, due to his determination to run up a huge tab under Gilbert's name at the bar. He had come to on the couch, in his t-shirt and boxers, covered with a blanket and his bomber jacket. Ludwig, having a (much) better alcohol tolerance, had retired to his own bedroom. All Alfred could remember was stumbling through the door then passing out on the couch. Everything in between was a blur.

No one answered, so Alfred pushed open the door.

In the morning, he had woken up and headed straight to the kitchen. He couldn't think of anything to make, and found Feliciano in the same predicament, stairing into the fridge aimlessly. So he suggested they go wake Matthew up, so that he could make them his special hangover breakfast. They had checked in Gilbert's room and they weren't there. After staring at the door for a good minute, the gears in their brains started grinding again and they decided go check the room that had been Matthew's original guest bedroom.

"Ve, so cute..." Feliciano whispered as the door creaked open to reveal the two. Matthew was resting his head on Gilbert's chest as he slept, and Gilbert had an arm wrapped around him to keep him in place. They were sleeping soundly, calm and expressionless.

Alfred personally believed that appearance of being cute was ruined by them not wearing any clothes- or underwear, probably, but he couldn't really tell due to the sheets obscuring them. Unfortunately, the blankets didn't obscure hickies and bite marks on the two, especially one that looked particularly vicious near Matthew's collarbone.

Oh god.

And he saw a stain.

Not that big of a stain.

But a _stain_.

Oh god, maybe the rest of it was hidden.

For the love of all things good and American, Alfred was _scarred._

"It's too early in the morning for this..." he grumbled, and turned away. He motioned for Feliciano, who was cooing over how peaceful the two looked, to come as well, but an idea struck him.

When he had managed to heave himself off the couch earlier on, he had put on his bomber jacket to stave off morning chills. If he remembered correctly, all he'd have to do was reach into one of the inner pockets on the right side and...ah.

He took out two stickers, each almost the size of his palm. They were stickers of his flag that he generally carried around. He had gotten the idea from TV, where he saw kids sticking stickers of flags on random public property and he had rather liked the idea.

He took out his phone, and logged in online. He turned the camera on in the phone. He gave the phone to Feliciano, and told him to take a picture when he gave the signal.

Alfred tiptoed over to the bed where Gilbert and Matthew were sleeping. With precision and care as to not wake the two up, he peeled the stickers off from their protective backside and gently put them onto the foreheads of the sleeping men. He positioned himself so he was leaning over Gilbert's side of the bed, hovering near the sleeping man's face. He gave his brightest smile, even though it was killing his head, and flashed a thumbs up as Feliciano dutifully took the picture.

"Sweet, thanks!" He whispered, as Feliciano handed him the phone. He debated whether or not to take off the stickers...nah, his flag was too awesome. They could take it off themselves, if they even wanted to in the first place.

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones** posted a photo on **Gilbert Beilschmidt**'s wall via Mobile Web  
8 minutes ago · Comment · Like · **1****5 people** like this

**Francis Bonnefoy** are there better pictures? they would make a rather nice birthday gift :)  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry** OMG IS THERE MORE ?  
7 minutes ago · Like · **1 person** likes this

**Arthur Kirkland** PETER  
6 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **' heroic cock blocking skills have failed. the sicklies have officially copulated

6 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Francis Bonnefoy **likes this

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **to **Gilbert Beilschmidt **YOU JUST HAD SEEEEX (well, last night)

5 minutes ago · Like

**Peter Kirkland **I BET IT FEELT SO GOOD (but only for you)  
5 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **MY BROTHER LET YOU PUT YOUR PENIS INSIIDE OF HIM (regrettably)  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **4 people** like this

**Peter Kirkland **YOU JUST HAD SEX  
4 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **AND YOU'LL NEVER GO BACK (lol yeah right)  
4 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **TO THE NOT HAVING SEX WAYS OF THE PAST  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Lars V. **someone needs to put parental controls on their kids computer  
1 minute ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Berwald ****Oxenstierna **I don't know how he gets around them  
45 seconds ago · Like

**Lars V. **I'm not talking about Peter  
A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

After walking into the room and seeing the two, Alfred had decided that maybe he should just sleep off at least the headache and crashed on the couch again. He slept for a good two hours, and when he woke up a second time and headed to the kitchen, he managed to corner Matthew.

"Good morning, Al!" Matthew chirped as he stirred coffee for both him and Gilbert. "Want me to make you something?"

Alfred narrowed his eyes in his brother's direction, thinking his tone was too happy. Must have been the stupid _after glow_ or something. And he and Gilbert had probably not gone online yet.

"Nah, I think I'm good." He continued to glare at his brother while picking a banana out of the fruit basket kept on the counter beside the fridge.

Matthew hummed and started on a third cup of coffee because he knew Alfred too well. Alfred pretended to eat the banana, while watching Matthew add sugar and milk and looking for an excuse to annoy Gilbert for the rest of the morning. He was so engrossed in the endeavor, that it took Matthew calling his name a couple of times and poking his cheek with a teaspoon to get his attention.

"Matt, you should really speak up. This is why people don't remember you." Alfred gave as his excuse, and Matthew looked unimpressed.

"Well, if you stopped fellating that banana and paid attention for a second or two, you would have heard." Matthew said airily, and Alfred blinked, taking the banana out of his mouth.

"Point taken, bro. So you were saying?"

"As I was _saying_, I have a flight tonight at ten. My boss called me back home for some business that apparently only I can handle."

"What? _Why?_"

"I just said."

"...Right." Alfred looked his brother once over again, and spotted a small mark on Matthew's jawline. "Maybe being on the recieving end wasn't the smartest idea. Isn't the flight like eight hours long?"

Matthew's cheeks started to flush at being called out on his activities, and looked to the side.

"Well..." He gave a slight nervous laugh. "We all make mistakes, eh?"

"Yeah, except _you_ get forgiven for yours." Alfred stuck his tongue out and made a face. "At least he was gentle, right?"

"Why on earth would you want to know?"

"So I know how hard to laugh at you when I see you trying to sit down."

Matthew narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"I'll be fine." He sniffed and turned away, and it took Alfred a bit not to laugh at the Arthur-like action.

To busy himself, and continue ignoring Alfred who was rattling off more personal-bordering-on-obscene questions, Matthew went back to giving Alfred's cup of coffee one good last stir before handing it over.

"Come on! At least tell me how you guys managed to keep quiet enough to not wake everyone else up!"

"Alfred, no."

"Did he gag you? Or did you gag him? Who's louder anyways?"

"Please stop."

"Oh come on," Alfred tried to take his cup of coffee, but Matthew held it out of reached. "I want to know why you took it up the a-"

"You're so disgusting. It was just a slight lack of judgement."

"If you mean hooking up with Gilbert in general, then yes."

"I'm talking about the _timing_," Matthew sighed, and handed Alfred his coffee cup. "But there wouldn't have been any other time. My flight's tonight."

"Guess I'll have some time to do some quality bonding time with your boy toy then. My flight's booked for four days later." Alfred furrowed his brow for a second as he took a real bite out of the banana. "Hey, he's not making you his bitch, is he? Shouldn't _he_ be making morning coffee as you command him while sitting on a pile of pillows or something?"

"Alfred." Matthew sighed again, and Alfred mimicked his voice, albeit higher pitched. "Matthew."

"If you really want to know..." Matthew turned away, presumably to pick up the other cups of coffee but from the way the corners of his eyes slightly crinkled, Alfred knew he was hiding a smile. "He's kinda, you know..."

"Whipped?"

"Kinda. I don't know."

"You'll need to prove that, bro."

"Uhh..."

For a second, Matthew was close do declining the challenge. But it _would_ be amusing...

"We're sitting in the living room."

As Matthew walked out the kitchen, coffee in hand, another thought crossed Alfred's mind. He had been completely plastered when they reached home, and they reached home early (er than was previously planned) because Gilbert had indicated that he wouldn't be getting any. So...wait.

_When did they have sex?_

"Matt! I need to ask you something! Hey Mattie, get back here! Ma-_att_!"

* * *

_From: Matt  
Message: did you really have to post that picture up online_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: WHEN DID YOU FUCK?_

_From: Matt  
Message: it was really uncalled for_

___From: Alpha D.  
Message: WHEN DID YOU FUCK?_

_____From: Matt  
Message: and you better take it down!_

_________From: Alpha D.  
Message: WHEN DID YOU FUCK?_  


___________From: Matt  
Message: or i will kill you_

* * *

Alfred likes**being the hero.**

Alfred likes **************people who can keep it in their pants.**

Alfred likes********************************************** people who listen****************.**

******************************************************************************See 4 more**

* * *

"This is some good coffee." Gilbert said in appreciation as he took a sip, and Matthew simply smiled and nodded as he picked his own cup off the coffee table and sat down on the other end of the sofa. He pulled up his legs and maneuvered himself so he was facing the other man, leaning against the arm of the sofa.

The coffee was normal, with just a hint of maple syrup in it, but Matthew knew Gilbert was just slightly expressing his guilt. After the two had woken up in the morning and gone through the first thirty seconds of morning bliss, they came upon the realization that maybe they hadn't made the best choice last night (early morning?) when, after helping a drunk Alfred onto the couch and making sure Ludwig and Feliciano made it to a bed before they fell asleep, they decided to pick up where they left off after all because Matthew had finished making all arrangements for his return. They figured that if they kept it quiet, it wouldn't be a problem, especially since the other residents in the house were in deep alcohol-induced slumber.

It was a good idea until they woke up a few hours later, and Matthew remembered that he had a flight in the night where he would be seated for a good eight hours or so and it may or may not have been too late to get an upgrade to business class. Gilbert, not surprisingly, had said that at least they had gotten laid, and it was better than having an unwanted boner on the flight. He did show some decency however, and expressed some remorse over not letting Matthew take the lead and Matthew decided that he would try and milk it for what it was worth.

"How are you feeling?" Gilbert asked as Matthew extended his legs and rested his bare feet on Gilbert's lap.

"Good, I suppose." Matthew slightly wriggled his toes, and Gilbert took the hint. He leaned forward to keep his cup on the coffee table, and shifted himself around so that he was facing Matthew.

"These better be relatively clean." Gilbert grumbled, and Matthew assured that he had taken a shower in the morning. He gave Gilbert his best smile as the man started a small massage on his feet, trying not to look too smug at getting Gilbert to do such a submissive job willingly.

* * *

**From: **Kuma W.

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject:** Your Arrival

have heard you will be coming home. I have booked a hotel for you to stay at, because the house is currently uninhabitable due to renovations. your furniture is at your brother's.

-K. Williams

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Kuma W.

**Subject:** RE: Your Arrival

Thank you...I guess?

-Matt

* * *

"What's that?" Gilbert asked, as Matthew frowned at the screen of his phone.

"Nothing...I think." Matthew answered as he typed a reply. "Just got an e-mail from Kuma..."

"Oh..." Gilbert didn't bother asking, since he had already made it thoroughly clear how weirded out he was by Matthew's bear and his bird's communication capabilities. Instead he settled for muttering something about stupid cock-blocking pets with Internet access.

"Hey, we managed to actually..." Matthew's cheeks went slightly pink. "You _know_."

"Oh I _know_ alright. I'm just saying it sucks that you _could_ have had all those days to bask in my awesomeness."

"Your awesomeness."

"Yeah. You know how many things we could have tried in the next four, five days? I could have kicked West and company out too. Or we could've gone to our country home, which I was planning to show you anyways...We could have even gotten a hotel, that would have been-"

"Or, you know, you could just come over." Matthew pointed out. "I think. Apparently my house is currently uninhabitable. Your bird and my bear have been up to some funny business...yeah, I think you'd have to come over either ways, eh?"

"I guess." Gilbert's hands shifted from Matthew's feet up to his calves, and gave a slight tug at the thin black sweatpants Matthew was wearing. "Still..."

Matthew drained the last dregs of his coffee and set the cup aside, scooting forward a bit and leaning towards Gilbert. "But it's not that bad, eh?"

Gilbert didn't reply, choosing to gravitate towards Matthew's neck instead.

"At least I can do this now." He murmured into the skin, before pressing an open mouthed kiss near the crook. "If I had to keep it in my pants for any longer, I think I'd shoot myself."

"You're so romantic."

"That's what Francis said too."

Matthew wrapped his arm around Gilbert's shoulders as the other man continued to press his lips lazily down his neck, across his collar bone, along his jaw. Hands ran up his thighs and gripped his hips, bringing him back with Gilbert as he decided to lean back against the arm of the sofa.

"Tell me what you want to do today." Gilbert said, as Matthew came to a rest against his torso. "You can be temporarily awesome enough to lead the processions."

"Uh..." Matthew's eyes wandered, trying to think of something. "No clue."

"Good."

"Why bother asking then?"

"Out of courtesy." Gilbert grinned. "We can head out to the city again. Or go for a drive in one of the nice cars again. I guess we could go see a movie, but that's way too lame."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, there's not much interaction-" Gilbert patted Matthew's ass. "Involved in that. Well, there is, but movie theaters are not up to my standards for places to have hot make out sessions-"

"Gil!"

"Okay fine, if you want a movie, we'll have a movie. But without your brother playing chaperon."

"I don't think we'll ever get rid of Alfred."

"I know, right? After the movie we can go to another one of those woodsy places. Unless you want to go to the city, but I have another really nice place to take you that I think you'll like. We can just chill there, and if you have some of your grass with you, we can get high and just _enjoy_."

Gilbert winked, and Matthew shook his head, laughing.

"I don't think that would be that great an idea. I'm sure your brother wouldn't appreciate having to pick us up again."

"Whatever. We'll do without the awesome drugged up hot forest sex then. But we'll do something cool either ways."

"Alright."

"And then we can have an awesome dinner at home. I mean, I could take you out to eat but my cooking is way sexier than anything else you'll find. If cooking could be sexy. Which it is, when it's me that's cooking. Then we can go out for dessert and maybe go drinking except that might not be a good idea because last time I got drunk, they didn't let me board the plane. Then again, maybe we can use that excuse so that you can stay a little longer..." Gilbert went on and on about all the awesome ways they could delay Matthew leaving, one hand waving dramatically in the air as the other one was propped up against the back cushion of the three-seater.

"Oh...I see. Sounds nice." Matthew hadn't picked up much of what Gilbert had said due to the excess of ego, but gave a small smile in return. Turned out, that was enough because Gilbert's banter finally died down.

"Awesome." Gilbert breathed, and smoothened out a strand of hair from Matthew's face, before pulling him closer to press his lips against his. "Sounds like a plan."

They both hummed as one deepened the kiss and the other followed. Gilbert slid down the arm of the couch and repositioned himself so that he was on his back with both of his hands squeezing Matthew's thighs. A chuckle rumbled through his chest as he felt Matthew give a little meep of surprise when his hands slipped upwards, groping his ass and pushing Matthew further onto him.

They laid there kissing, one of Gilbert's legs propped up on the opposite arm and one dangling off the furniture. Fingers tickled and gently scratched skin, and then a loud_ click_ resounded through and the drone of the morning news filled the room. Matthew immediately withdrew his hands from under Gilbert's shirt, earning a disgruntled look from him.

"Why'd you sto-"

"Alfred!" Matthew looked up, face flushed, having totally forgotten that he had indirectly invited his brother to join them in the living room.

"Mornin again, Matt." Alfred said, sitting on an arm chair angled away from the sofa, eyes still trained on the TV screen. "Gilbert."

"Hey Alfred." Gilbert replied casually, holding on to a squirming Matthew, preventing him from sitting up. "What's up?"

"Just looking for something to watch aside from you two making out."

"H-how long have you been here!" Matthew tried getting up again to no avail. "Gilbert, let go-"

"Around the time he started rambling about dinner." Alfred kept clicking the remote as he flipped through channels. "Know if anything decent's on?"

"If you go to the 64th channel, I think they always have English movies on or something."

Matthew marveled at how the two had the capability to either go at each other's throats, or talk like they were discussing the weather. Which they were, actually, right now as Alfred told Gilbert the day's forecast as he passed the weather channel.

"Matt, stop moving, you're making it uncomfortable." Gilbert complained, and Matthew gave a sigh of defeat.

"I hate you." He said simply, flopping down on to Gilbert. Gilbert gave out a slight _oof_ and Alfred made some sort of disgusted sound at the back of his throat.

"You lied, Matt." Alfred said, tone accusing. "In the kitchen. You so do not."

"Whatever. You just need to wait to see." Matthew mumbled, and Gilbert gave him a questioning look. "It's nothing."

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **basking in homoerotic glory, courtsy of Matthew Williams and Gilbert Beilschmidt

48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Elizabeta Héderváry**, **Peter Kirkland** and **Lars V.** like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **feel free to join us on the couch ;)  
46 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people **like this

******Elizabeta Héderváry **you know, with Peter hitting like for everything, i might have found a new minion C:  
43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

******Arthur Kirkland **for the love of all things good, eliza, please don't  
A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **no longer basking in homoerotic glory, courtesy of Feliciano Vargas. Am going to make the most bitchin' food ever though

38 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Feliciano Vargas** likes this

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **gtfo out of my kitchen Gilbert Beilschmidt

34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **gtfo out of *my* kitchen Alfred Hero Jones

33 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **Gilbert Beilschmidt i don't care if it's actually your kitchen, gtfo

30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Alfred Hero Jones is just insanely jealous that I have awesome cooking skills

26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **Gilbert Beilschmidt can NOT cook food as heroic as mine.

24 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Alfred Hero Jones challenge accepted

20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Matthew Williams **everything is always a competition. Alfred Hero Jones and Gilbert Beilschmidt need to grow up

2 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Arthur Kirkland**, **Ludwig Beilschmidt**, **Ivan Braginski** and **2 other people** like this

* * *

"Nice weather you're having." Matthew commented, taking another bite of the marzipan. There was a tray sitting on the dining table loaded with the confectionery.

"Thank you." Ludwig replied politely, from his seat opposite Matthew. "I hope you've been enjoying your stay."

"I have. You're a beautiful country...er, Germany's a beautiful country." Matthew stumbled over the awkward phrasing. "With beautiful...weather."

Ludwig nodded, the blank face slightly unnerving Matthew as the man directed his gaze at him for the lack of better distraction. In his mind, Matthew had already taken revenge upon Alfred and Gilbert multiple times, but on the outside he continued to make conversation with Ludwig who had been placed in the same situation.

Feliciano had asked Alfred if he wanted to cook lunch with him, even though it was technically too late for lunch since everyone had woken up late, with the usual exception of Ludwig who managed breakfast and a morning run. Through some weird series of events, which could only be credited to over-inflated egos and the constant need to compete in _everything, _Gilbert and Alfred had entered some sort of cooking challenge. And Ludwig and Matthew were chosen to be the taste testers.

Gilbert had assured him that they would still have a lot of time because this was going to be _quick_ and that he would take Matthew out immediately after he proved Alfred how awesome he was.

So Matthew found himself sitting in the dining room with Ludwig, trying to make small talk.

Well, it wasn't that bad, once Matthew got past the constant stoic expression and the lack of topics to talk with Ludwig about. He could always bring up something political, something to do with the economy or environment, but those topics always seemed weird to talk about outside of a business meeting.

He had decided on settling on the safe topic, the weather and the scenery, but they were nations. That topic was as awkward as the rest.

"Um...Maybe you should come over sometime, eh?" Matthew said, which seemed to be a safe topic. "You and Gilbert, and Feliciano if he wants. My house is pretty big."

Ludwig offered what Matthew assumed was a small smile.

"Gilbert has told me that you have excellent camping grounds." Ludwig said, and Matthew silenced the little voice inside that suggested that Gilbert had probably said it with lewd intent. "And that Canada has some beautiful nature."

"You should come camping then. It's particularly nice during the late summer and early fall, depending where you go."

"I think I would enjoy that." A more evident smile crossed Ludwig's face, and they both breathed a sigh of relief on the inside at having found something to talk about in earnest.

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: hey babe meet me at the front door right nowww_

_From: Matt  
__Message: why?_

_From: Gil  
Message: bcus in 5 minutes, whatevr your brother is cookings gonna blow up and i dont wanna be there_

_From: Matt  
Message: ._._

_From: Gil  
Message: :D_

* * *

"Of course this was a good idea." Gilbert insisted, ruffling Matthew's hair while he kept one hand on the steering wheel. "Would _you _want to be there when West sees the mess in this kitchen?"

"We should have cleaned up!" Matthew chastised, pushing Gilbert's hand off him. "It's not polite to not clean up after yourself."

"It's West's fault anyways." Gilbert said as his hand joined the other on the wheel again. "I _told_ him that's what would happen if we lived together, or if I was at home more often, but no, he _insisted_."

"I'm sure." Matthew rolled his eyes. "But still. Ditching them isn't the nicest thing to do, eh?"

"Shut up." Gilbert scoffed. "And stop pretending you don't enjoy being whisked away from a boring house by a handsome knight in shining armor."

"That's what it is."

Gilbert stuck his tongue out and Matthew pushed his face back in the direction of the road in order to keep the car on it. Matthew had to excuse himself in a hurry from the dining table to see what Gilbert wanted. Before he knew it, they were in Gilbert's car and pulling out of the driveway.

"Where are we going anyways?"

They were crossing the city, but Gilbert hadn't really specified where he was going. Matthew had prodded him, but hadn't gotten a straight answer, leading him to believe that the other man probably didn't know either.

"Directly to this awesome place. I can't stop by the garage because West probably told them to boot me out if I came."

"You've planned well."

Gilbert gave Matthew a quick glare. "You're so mean. And people wonder why I don't do nice things anymore."

They were silent afterwards, Matthew waiting for Gilbert to add on something. When the man was still scowling at the road as they approached a stoplight, Matthew realized that Gilbert was slightly upset at being shot down by Matthew. When the car stopped at the intersection, Matthew reached over and squeezed Gilbert's arm.

"You're going to have to do better than that." Gilbert groused, shrugging his arm away and pouting. He reached up to run a hand through platinum hair and Matthew swore the other was puckering his lips, so he sighed and leaned in to give Gilbert a kiss near the corner of his mouth. At the same time, the light turned green and Gilbert accelerated.

Because of the bad timing, Matthew fumbled and fell forwards, landing on Gilbert's crotch with considerable force. Gilbert managed to not swerve, and it took Matthew a second to bring himself back up. Thanking the powers that may be that no one saw that, Matthew coughed slightly as he tried to force the redness in his face back down.

Gilbert, on the other hand, had his lips pressed in a tight line forming a grimace. He was slightly tearing up, and Matthew admired the strength he showed despite having his vital regions crushed.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled, and Gilbert opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.

Five minutes later, when the pain had long subsided, Gilbert finally spoke up.

"That was the shittiest attempt at road head _ever_."

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: y did you + matt run away? we made some totally kickass food_

* * *

"Hey, wanna get my phone for me?"

"What if it's your brother?"

"Which is why you should answer it."

"I think that'd be a bit awkward, eh?"

"You crushed my dick with your head. You owe me."

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: So the kitchen didn't blow up?_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: wtf? was it supposed to?_

_From: Gil  
Message: well Gilbert told me that's why we were leaving the house_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: wat_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: O HEY MATT_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: and nope, yur fuck buddy just said he was gonna step out and next thing we kno you guys r gone_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: oh_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: HE KIDNAPPED YOU_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: LOL_

_From: Gil  
Message: ...what happened to being "hero" like?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: YOU GOT KIDNAPPED BY GILBERT. SO FAIL_

___From: Alpha D.  
Message: and i bet youre still sore. LOL GOOD LUCK BRO_

___From: Gil  
Message: I'm glad me suffering amuses you_

* * *

"You can't blame me." Gilbert shrugged an hour later as they were walking down a small dirt trail in a forest. "If I hadn't done anything, you know we'd have been stuck at the house for another three or four hours."

After a fairly uneventful drive, Gilbert had taken Matthew to another woodsy area, one that was not as secluded as the previous on and had different hiking and walking trails. After sitting in the car, debating whether they were getting too domestic too fast, Matthew and Gilbert decided that calling it a hike through the forest would sound cooler than a (romantic) walk through the woods, and set out onto one of the shorter trails.

"I'm not complaining about that." Matthew replied, digging his hands into his pockets. "More time to ourselves, eh?"

"Yeah, exactly." Gilbert tightened his arm around Matthew's shoulders. "I told you, whatever I think would be awesome."

They had been holding hands before, but both had deemed it too awkward an act and Gilbert kept on getting distracted and randomly jumping off the path, sometimes catching Matthew off guard and causing him to stumble. One incident led to Matthew eating dirt on the ground, and after Gilbert had finished dusting off Matthew's face and cackling at the sight, they had come upon an agreement to not, at least for now, hold hands.

"Well, maybe I wouldn't go that far." Matthew teased. "But you trying to kidnap me, as Alfred so eloquently put it, is actually pretty cute."

"Disgusting." Gilbert gave Matthew what appeared to be a scathing look. "Do not use such language around me."

"Am I offending you?"

The hand belonging to the arm around Matthew's shoulder reached up and cupped the blond's face.

"You are." Gilbert said simply as he squished Matthew's face, earning muffled protests that went ignored. "I think you need to be taught a lesson, you little-_ow_, fuck you!"

Matthew had smacked the lower half of Gilbert's back in an effort to get him to let go of him, and it had worked.

"That hurt." They both said simultaneously, detaching from each other and each rubbing respective abused body parts.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but God, Francis _was_ right," Gilbert said, watching as a small rodent scurried across the pathway as they walked. "We are not romantic. He called it out before we even started lusting after each other."

"I thought romance wasn't your sort of thing." Matthew's hands were shoved into his back pocket, joined by one of Gilbert's. "Does it matter?"

"Well, normally I would say I'm too awesome for romance. But I'm too awesome for regular romance. "

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I'm not a dinner with candles guy. I'm more of a drag you into the forest and give you a blow job kind of guy. You know, because you're so into nature and all that shit."

Matthew blinked and looked at Gilbert.

"...Really?"

There was a short pause afterwards, where Gilbert looked back, but didn't reply.

"Um, Gilbert?"

"Hey, you didn't run away!"

"Was I supposed to?"

"Well, it's awesome that you didn't. Because that's my cue."

"For wha- Oh."

"Yep."

"_Ohh._"

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: Hey when r you coming back?_

_From: Alpha D.  
__Message: duuuuuuude_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: where r yooooou_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: why are u not replyyyyying_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: omg maaaaaaatt_

_From: Matt  
__Message: sorry_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: ive been waiting forever and all i get is a sorry?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: wtf where you doing_

_From: Matt  
Message: Well_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: omfg_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: dont answer kthnx_

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: guess what i did 20 minutes ago_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: no i dont want to_

_From: Gil  
Message: made it snow in july_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: do not torment mewith your lame sexual innuendo_

_From: Gil  
Message: ;)_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: goddamnit stop it_

* * *

"Where to now?" Gilbert asked, leaning back in the driver's seat, stupid grin still in place. Matthew had drawn his legs up on the passenger seat, and was twiddling his thumbs, face slowly going back to its original colour. "Because me driving high is apparently a bad idea so you didn't bring weed."

"It _is_ a bad idea. And, um..." Matthew scratched the back of his neck. "What else is there to do?"

"Well, back seat sex is out of the question. I mean, I could totally last another blow job or whatever but I doubt _you_ could." Gilbert replied, enjoying the way that Matthew's face immediately started to redden again. "So is making out like horny teens at the movie theater. Actually no, that's still a viable option-"

"How about," Matthew cut in. "We do something decent for a change-"

"Hey, what we did there was pretty decent-"

"That, when people ask me what I did during vacation, I could actually tell them-"

"Tell them you did me, I don't see what's wrong with that-"

"Something that I can tell my boss, seeing that he wasn't too keen on this vacation anyways-"

"Well, that's what we had all those other days for before, just tell them you did the regular boring tourist shit-"

"Some of which we should do now, because I actually happen to like that regular boring tourist shit." Matthew pulled his face into a pout and looked away. "Whenever you come over, I make sure we get to see some really cool places."

"Okay, one. That was before this," Gilbert gestured to the space in between the two. "And two, half my memories consist of being wasted or getting wasted with you. The other half consists of doing the same at various ice rinks around your country."

"So? You're over all the time. I barely get to visit you here, and it'd be nice to see some other places, eh? And we only have a few hours left. I have to go home and pack too, right?"

"Goddamn. Fine I'll take you to some gallery or museum or something."

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **looks like we're doing regular date shit. no grown man, nation or not, should be this cute Matthew Williams

59 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Francis Bonnefoy** likes this

**Eduard Von Bock** to be fair, his human age is still rather young  
56 minutes ago · Like

**Lars V. **Those who are whipped have no one to blame but themselves**  
**53 minutes ago · Like · **6 people** like this

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **art gallery. why so boring. why must the most boring person in the world be my brother. and why must the 2nd be my bitch

59 seconds ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Peter Kirkland **likes this

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: when are you coming back_

_From: Matt  
Message: in a couple of hours. as soon as gilbert pries his eyes away from this exhibit of nude sculptures_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: please tell me that isn't a euphimism_

_From: Matt  
Message: I wish it was_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: tmi bro, tmi. btw got a call on ludwig's land line from your bear_

_From: Matt  
Message: sorry what _

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: he just wanted to know how you've been._

_From: Matt  
Message: how are you unphased by this?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: ? what? dude tony calls me all the time_

_From: Matt  
Message: ..._

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: and i gave him ur number. apparantley he wants to talk to you or some shit _

* * *

_From: Unknown Number  
Message: r u Matthew Williams_

_From: Matt  
Message: kuma?_

* * *

"Hey, Matt, you okay?" Gilbert said, voice still distracted as he "appreciated" (gaped) at a large painting of a bath house. Matthew managed to pick his jaw up off the floor, and wondered what the hell happened with his bear.

And why his bear had such bad timing.

* * *

_From: Kuma  
Message: hello owner. i hve gotttn a cellphon. i hope u dont mind i hv chargd it to a credit card i foubd in ur house._

_From: Matt  
Message: How can you text?_

_From:: Kuma  
Message: skill. but small phon keys make it difficul 2 type. wen you come home i hv a surprise for u_

_From: Matt  
Message: a surprise? that's really sweet kuma, but what is it?_

_From: Kuma  
Message: not asurprise if i tell u. stupid. but it takes up a lt of space._

_From: Matt  
Message: uh oh Kuma. You know, boss isn't very happy with you or me at the moment so I hope it isn't too extreme_

_From: Kuma  
Message: humans r just pussies_

_From: Matt  
Message: Kuma!_

* * *

"No way." Gilbert said, taking a bite out of his burger. After he had finished staring at a certain art exhibit, and Matthew had been to creeped out by his bear to finish viewing the rest of the massive gallery in the city, they had headed to a fast food restaurant near the building. "Your bear and my bird have destroyed your house? Fucking _awesome_."

"I think they've destroyed it, I'm not sure. And hey!" Matthew threw a fry at Gilbert's forehead from across the table they were sitting at. It was situated by a window, and they watched the crowds on the street as they talked. "It's not awesome! What would you do if they destroyed your house?"

"Film it, no shit."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Yeah, shouldn't have asked you."

"What else would you do? I mean, if it's destroyed already, not much you could do. You can't just stand there and instantly un-destroy it. Unless you're Arthur, which both me and your eyebrows are glad you're not."

"Don't sit there making lame jokes about my brother-figures. What am I going to do if my house is destroyed, eh?"

"Well..." Gilbert appeared to ponder the question, then gave a smirk. "You _could_ just move shop to my place and live with me till it gets rebuilt."

Matthew gave him a wary look. "That probably won't be the smartest idea..."

"Hey, _you're_ the one who wanted to get to see 'more of Germany', so what better way to do that than live with him and his awesome, sexy as hell brother for some time?"

"I wouldn't want to impose." Matthew sighed, propping an elbow up on the table to rest his chin in his hand. "And Kumawinwin's already booked a hotel for me. So I guess I'll just go and see how bad things are and see what happens from there."

"Don't clean up too much. I want to see too." Gilbert slurped some of the fountain drink they were sharing. "What if they like, mutated or something? Or spawned and had bird-bear babies? Wouldn't that be fucking awesome?"

"No!"

"That's because you're boring." Gilbert gave a sigh himself, one that Matthew was pretty sure was mocking his. "Sometimes, I wonder if Kuma whatever ended up with the wrong mother."

* * *

_From: Matt  
Message: hey, did tony tell you about any funny business going on back in canada with him kuma and Gilbert's bird?_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: nopeeeee :)_

_From: Matt  
Message: what did he say_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: not telling :)_

_From: Matt  
Message: come on al pleaaaaase_

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: :)_

* * *

"You're finally home."

"Don't tap your foot at me, son."

"Boys." Matthew pushed past the two at the doorway, walking into the house. "Be nice."

"No." The two simultaneously replied, following him in.

After finishing their late lunch at the museum, Gilbert and Matthew had wandered around the city again, going through parks and shops and whatever else caught Matthew's interest. Surprisingly, for all his grumbling, Gilbert had readily agreed with anything Matthew suggested. In what he called a "momentary lapse of awesomeness", Gilbert even bought Matthew a gift, a small glass-blown figure of a vicious looking polar bear. He made up for it by terrorizing everyone he could see when they went to a park Matthew found, and happily flashing his nation (well, ex nation, but who cared) status when some form of authority was called.

And surprisingly, Matthew didn't mind because even under all the scolding he did, he had a rather good time. they had decided to eventually go home at around six or so, since Matthew still had to pack and had made it a habit to always reach the airport two or three hours earlier than his scheduled flight.

"Gilbert," he called out to distract the man from continuously bickering with his brother over useless things. "Hey, wanna help me pack?"

That got the other's attention quick enough, but lead to another five minutes of arguing with Alfred over how he shouldn't join them in helping Matthew pack because it really was just another way for Matthew to get some extra special alone time with Gilbert, and Matthew assuring Alfred that he actually intended to pack and had no idea where Gilbert got such ludicrous ideas from, even though twenty minutes later, Alfred walked in on them making out and pelted them with Matthew's fresh socks that he had brought upstairs from the laundry in the basement.

* * *

**Matthew Williams **leaving Germany today :( had an excellent time though.

49 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Kumajirou Williams** likes this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **excellent time indeed ;)  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein **glad to see someone didn't botch it up  
48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **suck and swallow specs, suck and swallow  
46 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **^yeah, if my brother can, rod, you can too  
45 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **ALFRED!  
44 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **si, señor?  
43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **...don't type those sort of things!  
41 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **oh yeah forgot your into like monogamy and shit. why not just make it a threesome  
40 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person** likes this

**Alfred Hero Jones **even liz agrees  
38 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **go away  
36 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **nah, you already are. and you're leaving me behind with your evil albino.  
30 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **we'll do some brotherly bonding  
28 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **I fear for Ludwig's sanity  
27 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **as do I  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **but it'll be so much fun :D  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **1 person **likes this

* * *

"Sweet Lord," Alfred grimaced, pulling on his bomber jacket. "Please do not talk with me about your sexual fantasies. A hero's ears are very delicate."

The two were standing again in the front hall, waiting for Matthew to finish cramming a few last minute things into his bag. Ludwig and Feliciano were already waiting in the car.

Alfred brought up the same subject that he had brought up with Matthew earlier on in the morning, on how the two weren't the smartest with timing. After finding out, much to his horror, that they had gone at it shortly after he had passed out on the couch late last night (early this morning?), he had badgered Gilbert on how Matthew would still probably be really uncomfortable for his whole flight from Berlin to Ottawa.

Gilbert had initially just brushed it off, but as Alfred didn't seem to have anything else to talk about, he decided to instead entertain him with telling him how he would make it up to Matthew next time he visited.

"I'll let him do all the work." Gilbert ignored the request and smirked as Alfred made a show of covering his ears. Because after all, if Alfred could make perverted jokes online, he could stand hearing lewd things in real life. "I'll just sit back and enjoy whatever he wants to do to me."

"Oh God, please stop-"

"And then, when I've had enough, I'll flip him over-"

"I might have to suffocate you-"

"And ride him _hard_-"

"Stop-"

"It'll blow his mind like no other-"

"I will nuke you-"

"Because I'm fucking awesome in bed, no matter what position-"

"Are you guys ready?" Matthew asked as he came downstairs with his luggage, voice innocent and face sans blush indicating he hadn't heard any of the conversation. Alfred and Gilbert cut their conversation immediately and gave Matthew big wide grins.

"Of course!" Alfred exclaimed rather enthusiastically, walking up to slap Matthew on the back. "Ready and at your service."

Matthew smiled as he set down his duffel bag on the ground and gave a small sigh of relief.

"Is that all of it?" Gilbert asked as Matthew adjusted the straps on his backpack and nodded. "I'll carry this for you then."

"Will you?" Alfred raised an eyebrow, an action that was mirrored by Gilbert. "Yeah, I'll go put it in the back of the car now."

"How come?"

Gilbert exchanged a look with Matthew before looking back at Alfred.

"It's out of courtesy, of course." He smirked, as he straightened up and lifted the bag over his shoulder. "Repay a favour."

"Uhm...sure." Confusion flitted across Alfred's face, as Gilbert chuckled out the door and Matthew's expression turned to exasperated as he followed him out.

Thirty seconds after the two had left, it occurred to Alfred what Gilbert had been inferring.

* * *

_From: Alpha D.  
Message: bro you naaaaasty_

_From: Gil  
Message: ;)_

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **smooshed in a car between Matthew Williams and Gilbert Beilschmidt

50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **ew just used the word smooshed

49 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **LOL GERMAN RADIO SOUNDS FUNNY

48 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **Gilbert Beilschmidt has seized this phone

35 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones ** is a douchebag

34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **Gilbert Beilschmidt is a sexy mother fucker and i wish I waas Matthew Williams

33 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **has seized the phone back from the evil albino

26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Alfred Hero Jones **WTF JUST GOT BITCH SLAPPED. this is war Gilbert Beilschmidt

20 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **pwned, Alfred Hero Jones

12 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Matthew Williams **save me.

5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas **at the airport :D Ludwig Beilschmidt + Matthew Williams + Gilbert Beilschmidt + Alfred Hero Jones

A few moments ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like

* * *

Gilbert looked over his shoulder, to see if they were being watched as they stood near the baggage check in counter. Alfred and Feliciano were engaged in a discussion about food, while Ludwig was reading a travel brochure about Cuba. He turned back to Matthew, and his trademark smirk slipped into something more genuine.

"I'm going to miss you." He said, placing a hand on Matthew's shoulder. "A lot. I wish you weren't leaving so soon."

"Those are some pretty heavy words coming from you." Matthew grinned playfully.

"Kesese, did I surprise you?"

"Maybe."

Gilbert kissed Matthew's forehead. "I'm full of awesome surprises."

"Are you?"

Gilbert nodded, and cleared his throat. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's d-"

Matthew clamped a hand over Gilbert's mouth, chuckling. "Stop it. You're creeping me out."

Gilbert made a strange noise and Matthew let go of him, earning a frown.

"Way to not appreciate my awesomeness. Especially after last night's, or technically this morning's, volume muted but mind blowing sex-"

The hand was back over his mouth, muffling the remainder of Gilbert's words before Matthew's ears could turn any redder.

"Gilbert!" He hissed. "Not in public!"

"Ooood."

"Sorry what?"

The hand on Matthew's shoulder raised up to pull his cheek roughly till he let go.

"I said you're rude." Gilbert stuck his tongue out, relinquishing his hold on Matthew's cheek. "After all that I've done for you. _To _you, also, I mean the way we fu-"

"Shh!" Matthew looked around; Alfred and Feliciano had found a third person, a passing stranger, to bring into the conversation, and Ludwig was still engrossed in the Cuba brochure. "You're so obnoxious!"

"Your point?"

Matthew sighed and looked at Gilbert again. "You weirdo. I'm going to miss you too, eh?"

"Though we both know that soon enough, I'm going to crash through your front door."

"Yeah, I know eh?" Matthew laughed. "Any idea when that's going to be?"

"I don't know. Whenever West and the boss lets me off the leash," Gilbert's hand was back on his shoulder, and had started to slide down to Matthew's elbow while pulling him closer. "Or I manage to chew through it. I might just make a 'diplomatic' visit within the next week or so, to y'know, continue this vacation."

He squeezed Matthew's arm, and Matthew got the hint and leaned in for a kiss.

"Mi casa es su casa. Or something like that." Matthew replied, and anything after that was silenced.

* * *

**Kumajirou Williams **owner coming home soon. excited to show new spawn

50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Gilbird Beilschmidt** likes this

* * *

Alfred's/Peter's modified lyrics are from Lonely Island's "I just had sex". Sorry Canada, you never get a break! Idk why but i find it very hard to write an interfering America. I always assume he'd be on the sidelines egging everyone on


	12. Arrival Home

...we're at the end already? HOSHIT GUYS. Um um ummm, kay, thanks for sticking through what was basically a inebriated fluff ball. I hope it you guys enjoyed it and that it made you giggle and whatnot. I'll be writing something serious now for whatever I have next for this pairing kekeke

**holy fucking shit I love all of you. **This story got more response than I expected it to, and I'd like to thank everyone who read, reviewed, fav'd, alerted, and added this story to their community.

**final warnings:** what is science? when i was thinking up the story line for this fic, this was the first thing that came to mind.

* * *

**Arrival (Home)**

* * *

Somewhere in Germany, Gilbert sneezed loudly, disturbing Alfred from his kill streak in their video game, and ultimately causing him to be shot down by the enemy and lose.

As Alfred tried to (heroically) suffocate Gilbert with a couch cushion, because he had been so damn close to winning the game and was extremely sleep deprived, Gilbert flailed his arms, whacking Alfred in the face as he tried to explain that he had a feeling that something strange was going to happen.

That didn't work, so he managed to grab his own cushion, and started to thwack Alfred around the head with it. Ten minutes later, Ludwig came lumbering down, awoken by the clamor. After his sleep-addled brain saw the two essentially pillow-fighting, he decided that instead of investing his strength in prying the two apart, he would rather invest it in finding earmuffs and going back to bed.

* * *

Matthew found himself in a very familiar situation yet again.

Phone dead, check. He had been fidgety during the whole flight, wondering what the hell had happened back home, and to distract himself, played games on his cell phon till it died, then watched a mediocre movie on the flight's selection.

An imprint of his ass slowly forming on his duffel bag again, check. He had been sitting on it for around an hour and a half right near one of the main exits into the parking lot near the airport, where he was supposed to meet up with his ride.

His ride not showing up, making him look like a very lonely man, check and check. Before his flight had taken off, Kumajirou gave one last phone call, telling Matthew that he would send someone to pick him up at the airport and take him to one of the nearby hotels. So far, no one had come to claim Matthew, and Matthew wondered if it would be impolite to just get up, hail a taxi, and go straight back to his house.

Then again, he didn't want to stand up whoever was waiting supposed to pick him up. He sighed, and took another bite out of the candy bar he had gotten to kill time.

Half an hour later, he was still waiting. Then it dawned upon Matthew that it was his _bear _that had said he had made arrangements, and while that seemed perfectly normal to him back in the airport lounge in Berlin, Matthew suddenly felt illuminated.

And extremely stupid, as a call from the pay phone to the hotel where he supposedly had a booking but turned out he didn't, confirmed. Matthew beat himself over the head for listening to an animal that barely remembered his name (an _animal_), earning looks from strangers.

So, hoisting his duffel bag over his shoulder, Matthew stepped outside, proceeding to be shoved aside by other harried travelers that needed a taxi. In addition to being steamrolled by a particularly robust woman in a bright pink petticoat while she jumped into a cab that he had hailed, some of the taxi drivers seemed to see right through Matthew. Both feats were admirably, seeing it really wasn't that crowded outside. Maybe dating Gilbert was a good idea, because Matthew was sure that eventually, some arrogance and aggression would seep into Matthew's personality and he would be able to avoid such situations.

But he made do for now, and finally managed to find a cab to take him back home. He threw the duffel bag into the trunk, slid into the front seat, then prayed to all that was good that his sanity would not be utterly destroyed upon returning home.

* * *

**Matthew William****s **in a taxi going back home (:

25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Comment · Like · **Kumajirou Williams **and **Gilbird Beilschmidt** like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** i'm still peeved that gilbird deleted me off facebook :(  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbird Beilschmidt** you're embarassing online ಠ_ಠ  
3 minutes ago · Like

* * *

Though going straight to his boss would have been the most advisable thing to do, Matthew decided that a trip to his house first would be better. The cab driver had let him use the car charger during the half an hour drive home, allowing his phone to approach at least half it's life in battery and him to check his e-mail and what not.

The ride had been uneventful, the driver occasionally asking general questions about Matthew's trip and making small talk about the weather, hockey, and something that had been causing a slight commotion in the Parliament buildings. At the latter, Matthew prodded the driver for information, but all he got was that someone had set a bunch of pets on the loose.

When they finally pulled down the street Matthew lived on, Matthew noticed that his house, a standard two-story building, had a large array of furniture on his front lawn.

"Over there?" The driver asked, pointing towards Matthew's driveway and raising his eyebrows slightly.

"Uhm, yeah..." Matthew gave a slightly uneasy smile as they pulled up by his house. Huge signs had been erected around the front lawn, no doubt ruining the beds of flowers that he had labored intensively over. Each sign said something to the likes of **DO NOT STEAL PROPERTY** letters scribbled in large red paint. Each sign also had a paw print and what seemed to be the footprint of a bird.

_At least I had a good vacation_, Matthew repeated mentally as he handed the driver his fare and took his duffel bag out of the boot of the car. _And it was only ten days. Not that much damage could have been done._

Steeling himself, he walked up his driveway. Aside from all the contents of his house being vomited up on the front lawn, the house looked like it was still intact so hoping for the best, he unlocked the door and slowly opened it.

* * *

_From: Kuma  
Message: there is someone who walked into house. _

_From: Kuma  
Message: kicked him out. _

_From: Kuma  
Message: he keeps banging on the door for some reason. wants to be let in._

_From: Matt  
Message: kuma it's me! let me in!_

* * *

_From: Gil  
Message: yoooo broski it's al. i'm using fagbert's shitty fone cus i don't want long distance charges. neways, hows shit? tony called me a cuple minutes ago nd said you were in like utter shock LOL. can u do me a favor though. take pics and send them to arthur, so he can stop being a non-beliver whenever i bring up tony. _

_From: Gill  
Message: and no if tony/yourbear/that bird say that i provided for the project out of my own money, they lie.i only provided moral support. K THNX LOVE YOU BYE._

* * *

As Matthew sipped ill-prepared lukewarm coffee from a thermos while sitting on the floor of his kitchen, his bear and Alfred's alien (really, Alfred just had to stop lending the spare keys to Canada's house to just _anyone_) pottered around large...vials?, followed by Gilbird and a small army of flying...things.

Matthew gingerly drank, while wondering if he should tighten up the "war on drugs", because surely this whole scene was the result of all his citizens simultaneously getting high and the effect seeping into the embodiment of the country. The last time he was so weirded out was when he found a growth-stunted polar bear that could actually talk.

"Hey, guys..." He called out weakly. One of the miniature yellow polar bears that had been lagging behind the brood took notice and flew over to Matthew, flapping stubbly little wings with great intensity.

"Who?" It chirped, hovering right in front of Matthew's face. Matthew couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the slight fish-stink surrounding the bear-bird hybrid, causing the animal to give an indignant head-butt to Matthew's face.

"Ow..." Matthew rubbed his nose, which had taken the brunt of the impact. "That's not very nice?"

"Who?"

"Ca-na-da, your... grandfather?"

Gilbird chose that moment to zoom over to the two, pecking at the other animal's head as if reprimanding it for falling out of order. Looking emotionless (none of the mutants had any expression, whatsoever really), the animal rejoined the rest of it's brethren. Gilbird gave one beady look in Matthew's direction, sufficiently creeping him out before the bird followed suit.

There was one pro to all of this; even though the spawn (Matthew was still thinking up an appropriate name for the animals) had inherited Kumajirou's and Gilbird's soulless eyes, they were fairly cute. They were yellow polar bears a bit larger than a kitten with stubby wings that seemed to miraculously support their weight.

The sharp, shiny white teeth they inherited from Kumajirou kind of killed the cute factor though.

Matthew counted around eight of them, not counting the ones kept in three feet tall green vials planted around his house.

Matthew hadn't managed to pass out yet, but Kumajirou informed him that the bill was waiting for him upstairs on top of his dresser, and the money had been taken from Matthew's personal bank account. Matthew hadn't mustered up enough courage to go there yet, and instead sat in his thankfully intact kitchen drinking coffee that Kumajirou had handed to him.

What made him most curious was how in the name of all that was good did his (male) bear and Gilbert's (male) bird managed to procreate. Neither creature in the house had bothered to explain. He only heard of such things in comics that Japan and his brother read, and the occasional movie or so. Though, judging by the vials and the general presence of Tony, Matthew assumed some sort of fusion had gone on, instead of the two animals procreating and...

...Oh god, mental image.

_Maple._

* * *

**Matthew Williams** posted a picture via Mobile Web

34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **Alfred Hero Jones**, **Peter Kirkland** and **Gilbert Beilschmidt **like this

**********Alfred Hero Jones** HAHAHAHA WIN  
32 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**********Peter Kirkland** CAN I HAVE ONE  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Tino Väinämöinen **no  
29 minutes ago · Like

**********Arthur Kirkland** Good god, what are these creatures  
28 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **bear-bird hybrids  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **beards  
24 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **flying beards. kumamila took them for show and tell at parliament and thoroughly creeped out the boss  
23 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **and the boss just called, yelled, and hung up. what is this  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject: **Friendly Reminder

That as soon as you touch down in DC, you are taking a direct flight to my place. Accompanying you will be monetary compensation for this little project that you apparently have been helping them plan and create for a few months now. Failure to comply will result in my boss having a very, **very** stern discussion with your boss, for the spawn has apparently terrorized just about every one of my officials. The governor-general has refused to step foot in my country, and my furniture is getting eaten up and peed on by the local neighbourhood dogs.

Along with your self and money, I would like a detailed report and the blue prints for this whole cross-breeding experiment, since your extra terrestrial friend has indicated that all documentation for this is with you.

-Matt

P.S I'm going to kill you.

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **RE:Friendly Reminder

cool story bro

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

p.s no u. and gilly-kins says you need ta call him

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject: **RE:RE:Friendly Reminder

I'm serious

-Matt

P.S gilly-kins?

* * *

**From: **Alpha Dawg

**To: **Matt W.

**Subject: **RE:RE:RE:Friendly Reminder

yous is funnay

-Alfrizzle J-shizzle

p.s aren't you guys supposed to give each other lovey dovey nicknames now that you've fucked?

* * *

**From: **Matt W.

**To: **Alpha Dawg

**Subject: **RE:RE:RE:RE:Friendly Reminder

please don't ever speak again

-Matt

p.s tell tony that he is not allowed to bring your whale to my house. he seems to not like to listen to me.

* * *

"Hey, Gilbert?"

_"Hey Matt, how's it going?" _Gilbert's voice sounded energetic, even though the man had around a grand total of three hours of sleep since Matthew left. Most of it was because he and Alfred had been playing video games, so he was still as hyped up as ever. _"How are the beards doing?"_

Matthew gave a little chuckle at the name, and watched as one of the beards (as he supposed they would be called now) floated around with a shoe hanging by it's string from the creature's mouth. The hybrid animals had considerable amount of strength, which made Matthew all the more uncomfortable.

"They're...uh, they're doing. They're still creepy as hell though. There are two that have been following me around all day."

_"That's fucking awesome, man. I saw the pictures, they're so fucking adorable~"_

As Gilbert cooed, Matthew chose not to reply.

_"My voice raised an octave again, didn't it."_

"Yep."

_"Don't ever mention it to anyone or I'll kill you."_

"My lips are sealed."

_Anyways have you named them? Because if you haven't named them, I have some pretty fucking awesome names. If you have named them, I think you should rename them. Gilbert Junior, Gilbird Junior, Mattbert, Gilberta, Gilbirda-_

"Gilbert." Matthew interrupted. "This is serious, eh?

_"Your point?"_

"I have a whole new species, and I don't know how the hell they were created. Nor do I know what I'm going to do with them." Matthew sighed. "This is honestly going to be so much work. My boss isn't very happy with me, because he thinks this is some secret project I've been working on forever."

_"So?"_

"_So,_" Matthew stressed. "It means I'm in deep trouble right now, and I have a flock of spawn that I don't know how to take care of. Also, any hopes for vacation for the next fifty years have flown right out the window."

_"So?" _Gilbert repeated, and Matthew rolled his eyes, even if the other man couldn't see it. _"I'll just come over instead. Babe, you gotta get on my level of thinking."_

"I'm pretty sure if I had your level of thinking, I'd be actually supporting this...this oddity that's taking place in my house, eh?"

_"See! That's exactly why you should think like me. I mean like, dude, we're fucking grandparents now!"_

"...Sorry, what?"

_"Yeah man! I mean, we've been official for only a few days, but we've known each other for how many years now? You should be rejoicing!"_

"There are mutant beards with blank dark eyes flying around my house. No."

_"Whatever, be an unawesome dickwad like your brother. Did you know what he did to me because he lost in a video game? He tried to suffocate me with a goddamn pillow."_

Matthew let Gilbert go on for five minutes on how both Alfred and Ludwig had wronged him in the past couple of hours, before he cut him off during a tirade on how no one in the house made him breakfast.

"Hey Gil, I'd really love to continue talking but my boss is calling and I need to go now."

_"Fine, ditch me in the middle of me pouring my heart out."_

"I'm probably going to have a meeting with the boss soon, which is probably going to take some time since I need to explain things that I don't know. But I'm staying at a hotel tonight because my furniture's been moved out, so I'll call you when I check in, okay?"

_"Yeah yeah, whatever. I'll talk to you later, if I feel like gracing you with my awesome voice."_

"I'll be grateful." Matthew gave a small laugh, earning a _"Hey I was serious!" _and a reprimand for using sarcasm on 'His Royal Awesomeness.' "I'll talk to you later then."

_"Alright babe, take care." _Right when Matthew was about to hang up, Gilbert practically yelled into the phone. _"Holy shit, wait Matt! Don't hang up!"_

"Gilbert, my boss is calling and I need to call him back. I need to go."

_"This will only take a second, I swear!"_

"Fine, shoot."

_"I just wanted to let you know that I'm changing our relationship status online and that you need to accept."_

"...Is that all?"

_"What do you mean is that all? Dude, changing it online makes it official official. And we're grandpas now! Together! You better accept or I'm going to beat up your scrawny ass and-"_

A few thousand kilometers away, Gilbert cursed as he heard the dial tone. Matthew could be so unawesome at times. But whatever.

"In your face, bitch." He said to Alfred, who had been sitting on the couch with him as they watched an old horror movie. It's going to be official _online _too. So even _you _can't deny it."

"Shut up."

* * *

Gilbert is in a relationship with Matthew Williams

Like · Comment · **48 people **like this

**Lars V. **and so the world's most bromosexual relationship finally takes a step forward  
3 hours ago · Like

**Lovino Vargas **wtf weren't you guys fucking since like forever  
3 hours ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **nope! gilbert would always complain about how he never got laid for the longest time  
3 hours ago · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt** I don't think Gilbert will appreciate you posting these kinds of things  
3 hours ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** naaaah 'cus now i can get laid bigtime BD  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** and you can stop calling me at 3am asking me for advice  
3 hours ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** my ass, when did I do that?  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V.** for a full week before you even sent matt tickets to come over  
3 hours ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy** You called me too, don't forget  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** You can both suck my dick  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like · **2 people** like this

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** I'm going to hold you both to those likes  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **Let me be the first to offer a *proper* congratulations. I'm happy for you guys :)  
3 hours ago · Like

**Rodereich Edelstein** Let me be the first to offer condolences to Matthew  
3 hours ago · Like · **4 people **like this

**Feliks ****Łukasiewicz** LOL omg and everyone thought you'd end up always alone. good job gilbear!~  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**S. Chelles** congrats guys :D  
3 hours ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** all of you are bitches. 'cept for chelles and liz, you guys are cool ;)  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Ivan Braginski** I'm happy for both of you two~  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Kiku Honda** As am I. Congratulations :)  
3 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** Thank you :)  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland** i have a question  
2 hours ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** shoot  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Peter Kirkland **who's the bitch in the relationship  
2 hours ago · Like · **8 people **like this

**Alfred Hero Jones** YES PETER  
2 hours ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland** Peter, that's inappropriate! You can't go around asking people these kinds of things on public forums!  
2 hours ago · Like

**Peter Kirkland **gtfo, old man  
2 hours ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** matt's the bitch  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams** Gilbert's the bitch  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt** excuse you  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Mathias Thomsen** the kid asked who's the bitch, not who was last on the receiving end  
2 hours ago · Like

******Lars V.** Yeah gotta agree with Matt on this one  
2 hours ago · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you're both dead to me  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **pwned  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **and you, you are especially dead.  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **how about no  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **how about yes  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **how about no  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **how about yes  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **how about we strike a deal  
2 hours ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **speak  
An hour ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **I have copies of matt's journal  
An hour ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **can we not  
An hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **they're very detailed, for *everything*  
An hour ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **shut up  
An hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **and do you know how many wet dreams/fantasies that kid goes through?  
An hour ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **i will destroy you  
An hour ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry** do want  
An hour ago · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **and do you know how many involve you?  
An hour ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **Deal, new best friend  
56 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **no  
54 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **yes  
53 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **yes  
53 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Peter Kirkland **SEND THEM TO ME TOO  
50 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **noo!  
49 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **aww come on, everyone will remember you from now on :D  
43 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like · **5 people **like this

**Matthew Williams **I'm disowning all of you. alfred, stop being an insensitive prick and not taking into consideration my privacy or my feelings  
39 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **ablah blah blah passive aggressiveness blah blah lame blah blah  
36 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **I will run you over with a moose if you show anyone anything  
34 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **...too late C:  
27 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Matthew Williams **._.  
26 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt ** C:  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones ** C:  
25 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Lars V. **awww he's gone to go cut himself  
20 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **some wood so i can beat you two senseless  
19 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like · **2 people **like this

**Ivan Braginski **film it ~  
10 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **oh, i'm so scared  
8 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **^  
7 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Kumajirou Williams **do not insult owner. will set spawn after you.  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web · Like

**Alfred Hero Jones **._.  
5 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **matt knows i love him, right matt?  
4 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **... right matt?  
2 minutes ago via Mobile Web· Like

**Matthew Williams **(:  
59 seconds ago via Mobile Web · Like

**crackberries **and that's all, folks! GOODBYE.  
A few moments ago · Like

* * *

**FIN!**

* * *

ololol self insert (' 3 ') -brick'd-

holly hell, this was a ride. and once again, thanks for sticking through this :D hugs and kisses for all!


End file.
